An interesting contest was proposed that a few of us in #teamgirlpowa participated in.
https://steemit.com/happywoman/@sfp-cebu/happywoman-an-sfp-cebu-womanpower-photo-contest
this is the new one. its supporting a woman who I hope joines steemit cuz she seems awesome. I'm not doing the happy one. obviously.
Meanwhile, I was busy getting stressed out and letting impulse control and hormones rule me.
I really wanted to post something here this week about my recent discovery that I might have Boderline Personality Disorder (https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml )
"Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that can last from a few hours to days."
And thats just the fun part.
So lets see my laundry list:
1- Adult ADHD
2- Anxiety (potentially from BPD)
3- Depression (see above)
4- General Panic (Ahem)
5- Claustrophobia (okay thats just on its own)
6- Mild Hypochondria (basically me just being paranoid and panicking and jumping to conclusions -classic BPD)
But of course if you met me in real life or even chatted with me on a good day you'd think "wow, great girl, so smart and cheerful and sweet"
I have been told by my boss that my co-workers think that I am tricking them so that I can get them into trouble. This is. I believe, because one minute im giggling and cracking jokes and the next minute I'm mad as hell.
This isn't a new thing. I've been this way my entire life. I would go through the cycles of thinking im awesome and killing shit and then stumbling and fucking up. Most people asked if I was bipolar but every therapist I ever went to would say "NO WAY I bet you are always just a doll!" And they would be right. Aside from my terrible grades in school before junior high (and subsequently after junior high) I was always teachers pet. I was excited about learning and always trying to go above and beyond. Usually when I did my adhd thing it was just me spacing out and forgetting homework. ALl in class work was stellar though. except those times when I wasn't a doll just ask my sister.
So the question is, now that I am a "woman" and grown n shit--- what does this mean for me? What does this mean for my fight for the empowerment of all oppressed peoples? Most importantly what does this mean for the the awesome men and women who are kind enough to trust and even sometimes be inspired by me? What kind of a role model or a leader has such strong words and strong opinions?
I often argue: well pretty much ever male leader I've ever met.
But I have had a few male leaders, colleagues, and teachers that were docile and gave me so much space. Not many but a few!! So truthfully, while it is generall more acceptable for a man to be forgiven for showing his teeth and getting brutish, over all we know scientifically that this isn't the best form of leadership.
This is why I am so torn, honestly to try and describe not only what a woman is to me but what is WOMAN POWER? I honestly believe that there is a deeply rooted power that comes from feminine sexuality but its almost like that word feminine is to simple to describe what I mean. Because I have seen men with this power. There is also the power that comes from breaking records in major institutions. There is the power of being a successful mother in her own space and believing in herself. There is power in being an intellectual woman that can outsmart those who will "mansplain".
But essentially woman power is anything a woman does brazenly and confidently against the status quo or regardless of what others think she will do.
This is where the puzzle peice make me excited for something I see on the horizon.
I challenge you:
- Find a new woman on steemit and give her a nice long welcome response! - invite her to this challenge as well as #steemsugars and #teamgirlpowa
- Make a blog post
- In it Talk about any mental or physical "battle with self" through song or poem or narrative..
- link back to aforementioned newbie and remind people how helpful it is to be welcomed. even when we are going through our own shit.
no pictures r banners today because its almost 4 am. I was sorting out stuff in the small time I have between struggling home in a BLIZZARD with my dumb hemmoraged cyst in my ovary and going to sleep.
:P
-limabeing aka Capn Girl Powa
I actually decided to add a pic of my new headphones which are giving my crazy ass life right now.
Listening to Kesha!! 
This is just a perfect piece knowing today is international women’s day. Really not fighting and dealing with mental or physical battles regardless of the gender. I’m sure your openness about it will help others
yea its the thing with my little mentalhealthchallenge is encouraging others to speak up about thier stuggles. part of what helps is talking about it.. and another part listening to other stalk aout it.. i left it vague because im sure not a lot of people are having an OH I MIGHT HAVE A DIFFERENT DIAGNOSIS AFTER ALL
but i do think we are all struggling with stuff and that we hide it or swallow it. when its very natural and normal. I do want people to reach out to NEW WOMEN though that was something im specific about and direct them to this page :P
It is really courageous of you to share your potential challenge with mental health. Some of us may have some of those challenges which we are not aware of due to very limited visits or lack of visits to specialists. Added to that is the fact that many people from this part of the world struggle with more basic survival issues that they often do not have the luxury of checking how balanced they are mentally.
Thank you for sharing. I will check out the links you posted and see if they would be if any help in pointing me in the right direction as to what challenges I or people close to me may have. Afterall, we are just people and parts of our body fail.
@the.chiomz come and see your fellow women❤️
It's a very impressive thing she's just done.
I agree with you @churchboy, the lack of adequate mental health care in our country is just appalling.
Well done @limabeing and challenge accepted!
Well done dear.
Thanks for inviting her!! I think that people are dealing with these challenges in different ways. Some might pray about it! Some might take drugs and alcohol.. in fact thats one of the symptoms of borderlines which is why i abstain. I used to binge drink a lot.
I do agree with what you are saying though, if everyday its only thinking about get up and work and eat and drink and sleep.. its hard to find that time.
<3 It's rough to have all these challenges to overcome and be a woman at the same time. There are enough triggers for us anyway. I hope you find out more coping strategies - I truly believe having a(nother) diagnosis is the first big step towards understanding what you need in life to be as balanced as possible. As a psychologist and someone who had a friend with BPD I know it's a toughy - but I'm sure you will find your way.
You're strong and I wish you an amazing women's day <3
How did i miss that you are also a psychologist??
I have many identities ;-)
I think you are the first person I've ever seen write about BPD first hand - which I think is kind of rare and really hard to do. My mom has been sort of long-distance diagnosed with BPD by 3 of my different therapists over the last 25 years (at various times, not continuously :-) and I am the one in therapy. She would never ever see a professional. You are doing a very brave and important thing by talking about this! I wish you the best!
Yeah the hard thing about BPD is being sooo normal appearing and high functioning most of the time. I'm pretty sure my mom has a few symptoms as well but its my dad who passed this joyous life to me.
Of course i havent been officially diagnosed but there are only a handful of symptoms im not experiencing and that is due to sheer will.
Funny i talk about being crazy so often that i dont feel its brave. Its more like ahhhhh light bulb!! I was blaming a lot of ppl and denying a lot of stuff as affecting me-- which is somewhat true but unrealistic. Hoping i can get some better focused DBT or CBT when i move back to PNW but idk how hard it will be to fibd an affordable therapist.
Ps check out "crazy ex girlfriend" on netflix and the book "borderline" as was siggested to me by the awesome @didic
I LOVE that show! But I guess I never looked at her through that lens...I'm looking forward to the new season coming out soon (if it isn't already out). I adore how skillfully they deal with so many issues. She is so great in so many ways, but so inexplicable in others!
Several years ago, I read a book loaned to me by a therapist called The Borderline Mother. It was quite illuminating, but I probably could do a bit more reading to really get the picture.
Anxiety is my MO.
I mean its a comedy but its all there. The beeest season is out and it was sooooooo hard for me to enjoy. I relate to the character way too much but then it was like blam-- season threee eeek
You are beautiful❤️
Wow, says all the success of a husband and daughter in the hands of women who become their wives and mothers.
It's amazing From waking up to sleeping at night, it seems like an inexhaustible job of a mother. This is evident in a woman who is a mother of many many to be able to support the family. And this proves a woman is a figure that can not be seen by one eye.
But unfortunately, there are still many women who have not realized the strength and influence that is in itself is very valuable. Nothing wrong if a woman who because of love is on the family and then devote themselves only to the family. Still need your devotion as a woman makes you no longer think of yourself and even loss of identity. It's a breeze if we are not used to the wider and gives meaning even a blessing to the environment.
Im not behind anyone. ;) I'm not exactly sure what you are getting at but I think you are missing the sentiment as well as the tragedy in that cliche. I can be supportive but i also need support. I dont have a husband or kids ... actually im impressed with any borderline who managed to do so!!! Lol. However as a feminist i would argue that all mothers (as all women) are unique. And every "great man" is a combination if his upbringing, his inate genetics, and the way society treats him. That is, if who he becomes fits the narrative of "great man" or " good boy" then he has an easy path to success. Obviously class, race, religion, physical and mental differences, and sexuality also effect all of us regardless of how great our moms are or arent.
Thaks .... Lol