you've been missing the small print
Probably true. Either that or I'm hanging around the wrong people.
about that half-pessimistic bottle
I'm actually not sure what I meant but I thought it was funny to assign a bottle a personality trait as a reference to the glass half-empty/half-full debate.
!BEER :)
I do think that whiskey bottle has a lot of personality. Reading this made an image pop into my head from earlier today. I was picking up groceries this evening at one of those curb-side pick up parking spots, and the employee was bringing out two carts - one for me and one for some other guy - and hauling them awkwardly through the parking lot. As the employee got into the middle of the parking lot lane, a car that was driving slowly began to approach him, but at that lazy meander speed it certainly looked as though it was going to stop. But it didn't. The employee had to dive out of the way at the last second as the car hit the breaks within an inch of ramming the carts. The employee looked on with a powerfully dry expression that might have turned a lush lawn into a parched desert. I looked him over, and he had that sort of dark facial hair that wasn't shaved in 48 hours that looked like black sandpaper scratches across a white piece of furniture. He had thin rimmed glasses and an air of sarcastic intelligence about him. I asked, cheerfully - because cheerful is just how I do - if this was the first time he had almost been run over. He almost wanted to smile, but his dry personality forbid it. He said "yes" in a pessimistic tone, as though he fully anticipated a repeat incident on his way back across the parking lot. "People are crazy," he said with a distinct contempt for all of humanity, or at least most of it.
I'm pretty sure that guy was the human version of your whisky bottle.
I like how that guy sounds. If it were me though I would have at least rapped on that car's window nice and hard as it went by. That's probably why he still has a job and I would've gotten fired. !PIZZA