You need to find balance @mirrors; I feel the same. But when this becomes too much like work (all curation) and none of what you like, it's time to change course a bit.
It's interesting (sad) to me the psychological effects of abuse; the fact that the wife has the "instruments" at hand, but unable to find the strength that's right in front of her.
Its rather, i'd imagine, that she has the 'instruments', weapons if you like, but finds the strength not to use them, despite the temptation!
Ha! Now there's the difference between you and I @mirrors 😎