A friend asked me recently:
What do I do when I don't know what to write about?
My answer:
Write as if you're already dead.
That was the only way I was able to finish my book, Un-Crap Your Life in 2015.
So, let's dive deep into this topic.
You can’t get mad at a corpse for telling the truth.
What do I mean by this?
One of my entrepreneur mentors recently told me I have a skill that is in short supply: telling the truth no matter how raw that truth is. He said my writing reminded him of a child’s approach, which means that it isn’t concerned with outcomes or ego. This is true. I write to communicate my deepest thoughts that currently have no ears. I’m dying to be heard after being so quiet for my entire life. I write to understand. To me, writing is just thinking on paper.
So, how do I do this?
Writing the truth is difficult, but why do I find it easy to do?
It’s so much easier to tell the truth and write with clarity once you pretend you’re already dead. Pretending you’re dead effectively kills your ego, deletes your shame and allows you the freedom to express what your truth actually is.
The major roadblock to writing in the case of confessing your truth is the harsh judgment from others you believe might occur as a consequence. Or you might be scared your boss will fire you if he discovers your deepest truths. Or you’re afraid that your views might offend your relatives.
I used to be afraid of all these things, too.
But then I got rid of my bad boss that was constricting my airwaves. I got rid of my bad relationship that was limiting my possibilities. I have mostly banished my fear of offending relatives. I’m still working on this one, though.
Fear of losing one's reputation is a very destructive emotion. And we all know what happens when we lose our reputation in Steemit. Fear keeps us insulated from discovering what we actually think. Fear debilitates the truth and most people are afraid of admitting what they really think.
When you tell your truth, you can no longer continue lying to yourself. Telling the truth also leaves you vulnerable to other people’s judgement. But telling the truth brings people who genuinely like you to your doorstep. The truth brings people together in a happy, non-judgmental way.
We humans were raised in a pack and we care deeply what the herd thinks of us. If we go out on the precipice by ourselves and express our truth, we risk being outcasted, which our brains interpret as death. However, if the truth teller already feels like an outcast, then it’s much easier to continue telling the truth because becoming an outcast is not viewed as a threat, it is already a reality. But there exists a fine line here. For me, it wasn't until I quit my corporate jobs, and finally declared to the world that I am a freelance writer. I took this plunge about a year and a half ago and ever since then, I have been relying on my own intuition, creativity, curiosity and internal compass to guide my actions. Writing my truth has become one of my survival tactics. (It wasn't always...in fact, at corporate jobs, I would find myself getting in trouble a lot for being honest. Companies aren't usually dedicated to honest people.)
So my method takes this outcast idea a step further and conceives of a future time when I will no longer exist. What truth is worthy of exploring from a future point when I won’t exist? If I’m already dead, there is no reason to write about bullshit. That would be a complete waste of resources. If my ego is not alive, then I’m forced to write for a different purpose. I am forced to write about things that I think matter.
It’s taken me a lifetime to acquire the necessary guts to tell the truth.
There are still some truths that I don’t yet want to confront but that amount is diminishing. Quitting my alcohol habit has helped me achieve a clearer way of viewing life. Also, I’m no longer trying to impress members of the opposite sex. Trying to attract a mate is a surefire way to lying and boasting. I used to fluff out my feathers, boast and lie in order to get the attention of some men. Trying to attract others is a distraction I simply don’t have time for any more. I have become mission-driven in the past few years, and everything that doesn't fit into the mission is simply a distraction.
I never considered myself to be a “writer” until recently, but I am a keen observer, always have been. This love of observation used to take the form of photography. I was always interested in trying to record "reality" without people's permission. I got in trouble for this, too.
The one thing I ask myself while I’m writing is this:
“Am I telling the truth or lying to myself?”
I used this method in order to write my Medium post, I Had Sex For The First Time When I Was 8 Years Old.
Out of everything I've ever written, that's the only article that has gone viral. To date, that article has 156,000 views. (Maybe I should publish it on Steemit? I hadn't even thought about that.....)
It was a very painful memory however when I imagined myself dead in the future, I was able to separate my emotions and feelings of shame from the writing process. I was also able to distance myself from the experience and that is a very important part of writing your truth. I think it’s very difficult to write about things that are happening now. Time and distance create a better understanding of the true events that shaped you.
I have nothing to prove and no one to impress now. I’m fortunate I’m still alive. I’m writing because my mental stability depends on it. And I think the world would be a better place if we all started telling the truth.
I cling to idealism and the concept of utopia because those notions thrive within my nightly dreams and imagination. And I would guess that those notions thrive within your deepest consciousness, too. We now have the tools in Steemit to create a world worth living in, if we use our deepest expressions of our imaginations.
There is a curious child who resides beneath the layers of your jaded adulthood.
This child is color-blind. This child loves without shame, gives without greed, dances without regret and smiles without fakery. This child has been in the shadows of your mind, waiting patiently for you to find the strength to release him/her from the prison of your adulthood.
I am not the only writer who suggests to write as if you're dead. Think about the absurdity of this for a moment:
Following Nadine Gordimer and Christopher Hitchens, Eugenides encourages young writers to write as if they're dead. By this, he means that they should write without regard to popularity, or, as Hitchens says, "as if the usual constraints—of fashion, commerce, self-censorship, public and, perhaps especially, intellectual opinion—did not operate." Thus, in the one work that Trollope actually did write knowing it would appear after he died, the author did exactly what Hitchens says he should, speaking truth without regard to reputation. And that truth was that he'd spent his life writing for commerce and the public in exactly the manner that Hitchens said he shouldn't. - The Atlantic
@cheetah: this post was originally published on Medium, and I'm the author: https://medium.com/into-the-raw/how-to-tell-your-truth-547257446103
REMINDERS:
- Please submit your video to win a paid trip to Steemfest2. Deadline: August 31, 2017.
- Free Bitcoin School in Kansas City is on Saturday, Aug. 12, at 4334 Troost KC, MO 1-3 pm.
Sometimes I try to hide the truth and repress it as I feel like I may make a notion which everyone may not support or talk about a certain thing that many people wouldn't be interested.
My problem I guess would be lacking confidence and being pressurised and conforming to society to be safe rather than to outgoing and speak of matters which I am passionate and zealous about.
I guess I should pretend I am dead. I should have no care or attentiveness as who is able to scorn and scould at me if I am merely just a corpse laying on the ground. They can hold feelings against me but there will be no receiver to their animosity.
Truth is something that is ungovernable. It situated our life everywhere we go showering its special abundance of mercy. The more you sacrifice the more wisdom and truth you will receive. Those who strive towards meekness and forbearance will be enriched with the truth as he is not caught up in the swathes of desires and fear of not conforming to society.
Thank you for these words of wisdom @stellabelle! :)
yeah, I can tell with your writing that you're a very deep thinker.
This is exactly the case. Those with skin in the game prosper while those at the sidelines of life will remain milque toast, at best. Before my radical truth period, I used to be a repressed thinker, highly neurotic, a lot like those parrots who chew on their own feathers. I had mental energy, passion, but i didn't know how to be myself.
I see some of those same traits in you, and it most likely is an age thing.
I believe if i had not become impoverished, I would not be a writer today. If I had not been pushed to the brink of wanting to snuff out my own life, it's doubtful I would be where I am.
Middle-class, mayoinnase life was never for me. I went searching, and nearly extinguished myself. That's what happened...
out of curiosity, if you were able to do this thought exercize, and pretend you're dead, what would you write about? I see most of your topics are intellectual in nature... Would you write about something more emotional, something that happened to you?
I would guess that you might be able to make a decent living wage on Steemit with your comments alone!
I used to care , I cared a lot , what would people think . Then I realized , they are going to judge anyways so I could write as I please . Something I've shared are beyond personal , embarrassing and I'm sure I would get judged for it , being forced to marry , being unemployed and etc but it is who I am today . I have become strong , independent , and eager . I'm not afraid to share my story anymore , because it is the truth , and speaking the truth helps you build confidence . Truth is what people want to hear , it helps you connect better with society . I have grown up hearing "what will people say" when you stop caring about what people will say, that's the day you truly start living . @stellabelle
I guess some parts of me are dead , and what is not I should just pretend . Pretending moves us from reality
what's the "forced to marry" part about? Have you written about that?
Actually I have , one simple version , and one in deep thoughts since people wanted to hear more
https://steemit.com/writing/@journeyoflife/arranged-marriage-a-story-from-the-inside-part-2-deeper-thoughts
I just read it. OMG. This is absolutely horrible, and yes, I can relate on some level. I think you're a brave person for revealing all this. So, are you in NY now? And raising your baby alone? We need to chat soon, because now I finally understand why you see some similarities....our stories are similar, but I would have to admit, yours is more tragic.
That fact that you took your time out to check my page out , it truly was an honor . I really appreciate your support ❤️ I would love to catch up with you sometime and know your story . He's actually not here yet and probably won't be until December or so , so yes, I'll be raising my baby alone until then
Thank you for this. For years I allowed the needs of others distract from my passion due to a lack of confidence. The dead have no need for confidence.
ha ha! Then we are similar, as I too have spent more years attending to the needs of others before myself! I think it's payback time! Get started on your own life today!
What is it that they say about payback? ha ha! I recently kicked that parasitical part of my personality to the curb. Your motivational-fu is legend, keep the payback coming!
Fantastic post! I've never thought about it this way. From now on I'll always do things as if I was dead. It's a perfect way to kill your shitty ego. You are good at motivating! :)
ha ha! Today, I do feel like I'm offering a Udemy course on writing!!!!!
Steemit could be the ultimate teaching tool! This place is just getting started!!!
Market it like this:
As a student, you not only don't have to pay, but the best comments from students get economically rewarded!
We are in a future paradigm that very few people even know how to use and value.
Oh yes it's already an ultimate teaching tool because of people like you! That's a great way to market it haha. Also, all new students should be introduced to the power of yunk on day one!
Wow , write as if you are dead in order to fearlessly say the truth and never be afraid of being called fake news!!! upped-this post has motivated me to proceed in writing and saying it as it is. Always glad to see your post. Looking forward to you publishing your top article here.
Your post relates to my post: https://steemit.com/steem/@charles1/exposed-dan-hidden-plan-to-take-over-the-world I actually wrote the truth, fearlessly . Feel free to see it.
I appreciate your dog-like excitement.
Hahaa, Dog-like excitement!!! I like that, thanks for your comment and more success.
I am writing as if I'm already dead....not self-censoring...as "dogs" have a bad name.
Practice what you preach isnt it? for me dogs are lovely and man´s best friend...why not use a snake?
i use unicorn
wow, thats grea, I like it.
Oh can I join the Steemit Unicorn author gathering?
(credit: my wife @donnadavisart)
You are very right dear friend @ stellabelle, your words have made me reflect.
As a child I always told the truth, that has brought me many consequences, entering into adolescence begins to be more political and disguise the truth to not erry feelings, where I have always told the truth and what I really thought were in the workplace, Imagined the consecueincias and ñlas encountered situations that lived by this situation.
Never think as you put it "Talk like I'm dead ° I think this idea is brilliant, you take off all the pressures from above. Excellent way to see things, very grateful for that.
I wish you a splendid day.
Glad you are reflecting....it's a good place to be. Thanks for reading my posts! Attention is scarce around here, getting more scarce every day.
You are very right in what you say, I do not know what is happening, the attention is being scarce. I have a lot of faith that will soon change.
"What do I do when I don't know what to write about?"
There are a ton of subjects you can write about. You can draw it out from your experiences in life; the things you enjoy or you hate, anything you have learned or something you want to know. Your innermost desires to the most simplest wants you have. As long as you can think, you can write. Even if you have your limbs cut off. You just need to have the passion, determination, and the will to put it into words.
Nice post, good job, great work. 😏😏😏😏😏😏
Very good advice from you!
Happy it made sense! :)
I need to restock on my english vocabulary now. I suck at creative writing.
I like haiku.
;)
haiku ga omoshiroi desu ne.
wakarimashita.
Thank you for understanding. :)
By the way i'm Filipino. ^u^
Magandang Umaga! (Good morning! - it's 12:10 AM now here. xD)
'Enjoyed your post. I have written for many years and I identify with your statement to "write as if you were dead". I never heard it put that way. Growing up in a small town shaped me in so many ways for which I will be eternally grateful. Then, there were the "rules" of politeness and self preservation that formed a constrictive cast around me that made truth very hard to tell. A friend of mine just spoke with me concerning a situation that involves the polite concern and being able to say "no" without self condemnation or regret.
My friend is taking care of an invalid husband and had recently had a conversation with her friend of many years who was "stuck" in a nursing home, as she put it. This friend is immobile, practically blind and a cancer patient. My friend was approached with the proposition of the old friend coming to live at her house since the nursing home was so undesirable. Of course, my friend, had to say "no" as she just couldn't possibly take on that responsibility. That, to me, made total sense but my friend is burdened over having to refuse. All these years my friend has been known as the "unselfish giver". There has to come a time for all of us that the truth is good enough and shouldn't be a sense of guilt that we must carry.
awesomely awesome @stellabelle in my point of view i'd rather to tell the truth no matter what like if someone ask me my opinion he should be aware of that I don't mince my words am always speak my mind so if my opinion offended you then that's your problem i don't care for what people said behind me i can take criticism "if the truth is bitter and hurtful but for sure it's a thousand times better than hypocritical courtesy." the point is some people fear of telling the truth maybe caring for the others emotions or avoid to go through an argument so they decide to stay comfortable fooling themselves and live in an illusion until their brains will accept what they said as it is the truth subconsciously and it will influence their attitudes and that would make our world horrible place. thank's for sharing this great insights with all of us . have a fantastic day @stellabelle
Wow Leah! Great stuff. @stellabelle Telling it like it is on Steemit since 8th June 2016.
Or.. you could go completely Ninja on this... as it's my Steemit birthday I'm going to do a shameless self-plug (pretending I'm dead already and don't care what you think and all that).
https://steemit.com/suicide/@davidbrogan/taboo-subjects-suicide
then again;
https://steemit.com/blog/@davidbrogan/n-d-e-my-near-death-experience-never-shared-before-the-future-of-medicine-and-healing
Peace out! Keep it real :)
ha ha! great comment! yes, i like your humor!
This post summarise chapter 1 of this book by Jack Canfield am currently reading
To be powerful you need to take the position to create or allow everythings happens to you, you have to face facts squarely to get the result you desire.
It's much more easier and comfortable not to tell the truth, not to hurt love ones with the truth, not to lose that reputation. But it's best to tell the truth despite people judgements, truth is light and you can't conceal it.
@stellabelle you write with flames and it burns
ha ha! I studied a master for several years, and I emulated the things I thought were the best.......don't mince your words..that's something to do.
Great great
"Time and distance create a better understanding of the true events that shaped you." This provoked me as much as your title. You write a very logically convincing post and it is inspiring me to adopt that mindset of writing as if I were already dead so I don't hold any of the truth back. Very powerful post! Thank you! I hope I can find my words and free it from my mind soon
thanks for reading and sharing how it inspired you.
Good post my friend! You will do quite well here!!
This!! This comment is priceless, hahaha.... oh man!
indeed!
Have you checked my rep, my other things?
That's interesting... I've heard Write as if no one will read it... I guess writing as if you're dead is the next level.... as if you won't be around to deal with the feelings, critiques, etc.... ???
yeah, that is it.
I did this mental exercise before releasing my book....there's a lot of shameful stuff in my book, so I needed a way to deal with it. This thing worked...
shameful stuff? do not accuse me =)
stuff can only be stuffy, that's it =)
and as for me, I think being ashamed of something - the most useless thing to do =)
i think main problem to write is to start writing, usually we just postpone our writing to tomorrow and so on :) and the reputation,feedback,feelings,emotion is second problem. main problem is laziness.
Thanks, it's very motivated me for always writing.
Nice to know you @stellabelle
As a writer who struggles with many distractions and stressors, this was an awesome read. I truly love and miss Hitchens.
"Christopher, how are you feeling?"
"Oh..well....thank you for asking. Well, I'm dying...but, so are you."
ha ha! Yeah, Hitchens was great.....
Its time to wreckon myself dead.
You know yourself so well! I like this idea, but like you, I will have to kill my public selves one at a time :)
Well, you can kill your "ego" on Steemit. No one gives a crap because it's not Facebook
I think you are extremely brave and tapped in with your emotions and needs - I am sure it did not happen over night , but I love that you came to the conclusion to write the truth is the best way to go - sugar coating and writing what you think people want to see can actually spoil everyshing/ Excellent post
heeeey! where's the #waronspam tag?! =)
yeah, i need to add it, thanks for reminding me!
it's like you called for arms and gave up immediately =)
that looked funny to me as I just finished reading your previous post =)
I have severe attention issues!!!!!
Actually, I am bombarded by several ideas all at once...
here's my way of fighting that: you write them all down, leave them for 2 days, read again, remove the rubbish ideas, go for good ones =)
mad ideas....
I love this part! I think this "inner child" is also called the "higher self." If they're different, I think they're strongly connected, at least.
they are the same!
Losing fear works with soooo many things in life!!!
From one day to the next, the daily life of a life can be turned upside down. That's what happened to me. A friend, who greatly appreciates reading, has very strongly advised me a book. I, who could not read a 20-page book, literally swallowed a 400-page book. This is how I discovered a passion for writing and reading. This sudden infatuation prompted me to write my own novels. I have already written a whole, which I hope will be published. A second is also being written. If that day my friend would not insist as she did, I would never have discovered the joys of writing. Today, I become aware of the point at which this activity calms me and gives me pleasure. A hidden passion can be revealed at any time.
oh yeah, very good story...I started writing because I was poor, and desperate for a job (after recession). I applied to everything I could find...and guess what job was offered to me....a writer! I was shocked because I hadn't never written before professionally...I just got desperate.
What book did you write? is it on Amazon?
This reminds me of "Dance like nobody's watching = Write like nobody is reading". Sounded funny to me at first, but it's a bit like what you describe.
I used to care what other's thought of me, far too much. My late teens and early twenties were spent in a large social group and there was definitely competition to hold my spot in the pecking order. Your "look" mattered, in fact, everything mattered way more than it ever should've.
Dropping the charade of self-censoring to please the crowd has been a freeing experience. (I walk the dogs in my pajama pants some times) Your thoughts are you and you are your thoughts. To not express them as you see the world is a limiting experience.
Maybe it's a product of age, but the fear of retribution diminishes as I age. At this point in life, I clearly state my thoughts to friends and family, without pause. It does not help my popularity, but it is life affirming to me.
I believe part of being laid off from my last job was partially a money crunch for the company as well as punishment for speaking certain truths that ownership wasn't particularly fond of hearing. Truth in speech or writing doesn't always get you ahead in the corporate world, but I believe it makes the writing process more genuine.
I'm going to try the dead-man-writing perspective and see how that changes what I've been doing.
Thanks @stellabelle.
I guess you're onto something with this, because most times our ability to express our creativity is impaired by our feeling of self worth and consideration of the perception of others.
Often times, I have found myself starting to write something that was totally formulated in my mind only to find problems stripping it down to 'acceptable' standards, which leads to low quality or abandonment of projects.
Maybe will start the process of being able to create like this and in the nearest future will be completely free in self expression.
@stellabelle, I never thought this possibility earlier before I read your blog. The deep feeling being dead, that releases a person from all worldly bondages and sets him free is indeed a very novel and powerful way to look at things.
I find in myself, the vices you mentioned above. I have a large ego, I write to the masses, I hide behind a mask, suppressing my true feelings and emotions so that I appear favorable in the eyes of people around.
But then this paradox. The only thing that is ever true is the awareness that we are alive. That awareness of being alive drives the self into this world of fight, competition , deceit, greed, hatred, anger, love, despair, jealousy, gratitude, forgiveness and many more such feelings combined with fight for survival and propagate.
What you proposed is exactly the opposite of that one truth of our awareness being alive and with that proposal comes everything that one cannot become being alive. So in one stroke everything connected with being alive is rendered to a naught and with death comes only truth and silence.
Feeling dead while alive is an antithesis to everything that a man is doing. All the feelings are gone, ego is gone, perhaps only truth and silence are there.
Your blog has set me thinking. May be I should stop playing to the gallery and just be like a child, no ego, no convoluted or warped games, no lies. Just be truthful to self and don't give in to any feelings. Like a dead person. Nothing exists within a corpse. But death is again the only other truth in life.
This is one of my all time post, and i'm glad you shared it, they say the truth set you free but reading this post, it had taken me into the dept of this principle, tuth is, one lie always becomes a cycle that leads to destruction, you also mention that if we are true to our self's, the law of attract comes into play, bringing more people with honesty to your door step and also in our lives, fair creates more stress and destroy the true inner self and also energize the ego, this was a epic read and i wanna thank you for crafting this so perfect
This is a great tip. I will try it. I like the mindset behind it and how you explained it. Thank you.
This is a wonderful post - more inspiring and thought provoking than the stuff one finds in Writer's Digest or The Writer. And it's great to hear that you've made a success of the freelance gig.
I hear that. Getting through the day with my mouth stapled shut finally got to be too much for me about 9 months ago. It was a shame because I loved the people I worked with, but the people I worked for seem determined to drive the company into the dustbin of history, and they made it clear there was no room for dialog or creative thinking.
This post has been ranked within the top 50 most undervalued posts in the second half of Aug 10. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $23.92 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Aug 10 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
I really enjoy reading your posts. As a fellow woman who keeps it candid pretty much at all times, I know the power and pain of this trait and am trying to use my unfiltered communication style in writing as much as in speaking. I had never thought of the write like you're dead style of thinking and I love it. I've spent this past year after quitting my "big job" and traveling the world living that mantra and it has opened up my mind and spirit in ways I didn't even know I needed. I am hoping to transfer that freedom into writing. Your words are an inspiration to that effort. Thank you.
Wow what a powerful title!
I learned something new. Just like you and many of us, I lack confidence and have fear of what people will think of me, how'd they judge me. I never knew that thinking as if there's no tomorrow, as if I don't exist, will help me conquer all the fears I've been facing and free up myself. If there's no tomorrow there's no judgement. Thanks for sharing your great words and enlightening me @stellalelle
ha ha! Yeah, it takes a while to get up the courage. And keep in mind, I'm 47! This didn't happen overnight.
i don't know what to say. your story made me hurt we all go through pains and we never talk about it reallyt needs so much courage but today u have proved that we have to be strong we are here to live not just to survive.
i don't have confidence to share my story it makes me more sad when i think about it. i wish u very best of luck. stay strong. you are really an inspiration to us thankyou so much. i think u should share that story on steemit. it will help people and will give them confidence.
Woah. I didn't knew about that other post you mentioned. I don't know what to say.
I really need to be re-acquaintanced with mine.
“How do you have the nerve to write some of the things you do?” I asked him. “Oh, it’s easy. I just pretend that I’m already dead.” - Interview with Michel Houellebecq.