Yea I see a lot of my younger self in you actually the thing is not to become evil but to retreat and become a gerillia and fight their evil and create spaces for oneself and other to find refuge. Yes they are shit most people out there but there is a whole planet and tribes of non humans that need our help and protection from the tribe of man. you will evolve trust me I am almost 30 years your senior you are just beginning have more faith in yourself.
Haha that's so neat, honestly. I'm very glad to have found you here(: I think one of mybiggest mistakes was rushing into lessons I wasn't ready for, and in all the wrong ways. I can only hope and work to become a stronger and more passion driven person like you, or even like I was before all the bullshit. There are always side streets to lead you back to the right path, I've just gotta find my way through the labyrinth (:
You are a lot stronger than you think you can do this :)