How terrible it is to listen to the voice of the conscience, but even after death he continues trying to justify his behavior. He has not realized that to be happy you need inner peace and apparently he never had it.
Very good friend @ruth-girl. I'll wait for the next chapter.
He is a bad person and deserves to be punished, but he has somehow shown us bits of remorse. The fact that he is left alone and not looked for has made him vulnerable. So, John keeps being the same a#hole in an attempt to defend himself and not show how hurt he is. This is a typical reaction.
Thank you for reading this @ufv! :D