So, finally ... I am so sorry I took so much time to answer properly. I sometimes think the „despite“ is a kind of fight for being me. To prove the own insecurity, the own negative thoughts wrong. To replace internal acceptance with outward acceptance... not always a good concept as I in this way depend on others approval. I notice it is like a never ending cycle. The approval only last for a very short time and then I need more. It may be a mindset which drives one to work harder, but it also (in my case) prevents me to be as creative as I want, because I fear mistakes...sigh, not an easy topic.
And as you stated, I also always find different explanations for success/ complements, than really being good, skilled etc... I always second guess.
Nevertheless, I am happy you do what you do and that you don’t let yourself be stopped by these thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me 💕😍🌈
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