hi @neumannsalva
how wonderful, i found your beautiful, hypnotic improvisation. through you you can feel all the drama of the moment. and I find your concept of "despite" very beautiful. I had never thought of it before. I feel very similar to you, I too don't like myself, I am insecure and I consider everything I do as crap, and yet ... I, too, the public !! as we are strange, maybe we just want some support and encouragement. yet even when there are compliments, I don't believe it, I think they do them to me to please me, not to offend me ... despite, I like it.
congratulations on your curie vote and thanks for sharing, keep it up
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I am so touched by your wonderful and personal comment. But sadly my father is very ill and I currently don’t have time to answer you for real.
I will write you as soon as possible, sorry for this 🌈🌈🌸🙏🏻
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So, finally ... I am so sorry I took so much time to answer properly. I sometimes think the „despite“ is a kind of fight for being me. To prove the own insecurity, the own negative thoughts wrong. To replace internal acceptance with outward acceptance... not always a good concept as I in this way depend on others approval. I notice it is like a never ending cycle. The approval only last for a very short time and then I need more. It may be a mindset which drives one to work harder, but it also (in my case) prevents me to be as creative as I want, because I fear mistakes...sigh, not an easy topic.
And as you stated, I also always find different explanations for success/ complements, than really being good, skilled etc... I always second guess.
Nevertheless, I am happy you do what you do and that you don’t let yourself be stopped by these thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me 💕😍🌈