Time to touch on a bit of a controversal topic today, but a relevant one in light of all the recent feminist protests over Donald Trump and his presidency. Most of the time, a woman that is not a feminist is considered crazy by feminist women. I've gotten into debates with feminists before in which they always ask "How can you be a woman and not a feminist?" The definition of feminism that I use is the advocacy of women's rights based on equality of sexes. I don't subsribe to this because women in reality are not equal to men and they probably never will be and I'm fine with that, I don't want to be equal. I'm not saying men are superior, I just ask you to consider the definition of equal. According to the internet equal is used as a noun to describe " a person or thing considered to be the same as another in status or quality". Simply put, we aren't equal and we don't need to be. This idea of equality is a lie, at least as far as people are concerned. My ideal is not to be equal, but to be equally free.
Many will tell you that men and women are wired differently and it's true. There are things that women are naturally superior at, such as creative detail oriented tasks. There are also things that men are superior at, like possessing more physical strength or the natural knack for hunting for food. Differences like this lead to a lack of equality in the world and that's okay. This also leads to a complimentary relationship between humans in which all the bases for life maintenence are covered through healthy relationships, something to be desired in life. There are so many tasks in my life that are left to me just because I'm the better person to handle them and a lot of them have to do with womanly features I possess, like an artistically creative mind or small hands.
The fact that men get paid significantly more than women in physically demanding jobs isn't actually a problem considering the fact that most women aren't able to physically compete. Allow them access to all jobs, but women should understand they don't deserve the same pay unless they put the same work in, and often times we can't. Women today act like there isn't equality in the work place but honestly there is as much as there can be. If you aren't physically able to pull off the same amount of work, you shouldn't be paid the same. The same thing goes for small statured men, if they can't perform just as well they shouldn't be paid the same. I don't give a shit what gender you are, you should get paid in proportion to the amount of value you provide this world.
While we may not be paid as much as men (although this isn't true, in many positions women are paid much more than men if you consider benefits and maternity leave. That and the whole thing that women are paid less has proven to be a myth...), women are granted a lot of non-monetary advantages in life. For example, in a monogamous long term relationship or marriage, often times the woman is at home with the children while the man works to make money to support the household. The role of protection and of supporting the family falls on the man generally, and keeping things running smoothly and children healthy is often times the job of the woman. Another example is with the law, women are generally granted leniency because of their gender.
We have a tendency to get into these roles because we are the best creatures out there for the job, biologically speaking, and it's important to remember that. A life as a housewife or mother can be just as full as a career woman, and many would argue it's more so as it's what we're biologically geared to do. The point of life is to grow, reproduce then die at the end of the day, whether we want to admit it or not.
For whatever reason though women now are being taught that this is bad, that a family marks the end of your free life. I was raised by women pretty influenced by the feminist movement and many of them had an "I don't need a man" attitude, while simultaneously chasing after various men. My aunt for example always talked about her independance, but at the end of the day she was still biologically craving a relationship and a family, so much so that she jumped into it with the wrong person as many do. For her, it didn't work out as she lost her baby. She's now too old to reasonably have kids and she waited a long time as a consequence of her independancy. She was so hell bent on being independant she forgot about her dream to be a mother and missed her chance.
It was a contradiction big enough to make your head spin but it's seriously common in the states especially. Women are taught to be strong, independant but sexual beings. Many don't have kids but lots still do, taking on the life of a single mother. This leads to disconnected families, which leads to a society like what we are experiencing now. That and government influence has a huge effect as well.
I tend to mistrust any movement when I notice distinct government influnce and help. This seems to be heavy within the feminist movement as the government has damn good motive to free the women. Why would they want them freed? Until women started rallying for "equal" rights, they were an untaxed half of the population. They didn't have say in the law, but they also weren't technically property of the government because of that fact. The government couldn't tax them for income if they weren't going to work, so supporting (or even starting movements, though I've no evidence of that, just suspicions) a movement that essentially gets women out of the house and into the workplace so they can pay taxes, just like the men makes sense as a political move.
Many understand that the schooling system in the United States was based off of a prussian system meant to breed obedient worker bees and soldiers. For those that don't, look into School Sucks Project and Tragedy and Hope Podcast for more in-depth information, both sources are huge referenced volumes of information in regards to the history of schooling as we know it and true education.
I've not got the specific references (save for the two alternative media sources I mentioned above, who will provide you with the resources if you look), but there have been links between funders of the feminist movement and those who fund the schools. I remember there being a very strong feminist influence in school. The women teachers were always considered to be better, as were the female students. I remember being in a class once where I was the only female and the teacher treated me way better because of my gender and that was it, which offended me and everyone else in the class. Men had to work hard to be respected and they generally only were when they were a certain way, which honestly was not very masculine at all.
Schools teach strong feminist ideals and are funded by the same people that fund the feminist movement. As an anarchist, I've got a tough time with feminism because of this. Why would the same people that fund our brainwashing school system fund the feminist movement? It breaks up the family and puts the children in the control of the state, in schools and the like which helps them to keep control of the population. For reasons like this, I've got a deep seated mistrust of the feminist movement as a whole.
There's an interesting paradox that is breeding an interesting sort of male figure within our society. One one hand we want the gentleman, the romantic, but we also want them to be equal to us, almost woman like. We expect them to abandon the aspects that make them who they are, sometimes even forcing them into the positions we are meant to fill in life. By this, I refer to stay at home dads, the men who stay home with the family while the woman provides, something that almost always leads to a bad relationship dynamic. I was looking around online about this stuff today and someone made the comment along the lines of "we just want guy versions of ourselves" and it's true. Aggression, strength and many other masculine traits are often supressed in our society as men have gotten a bad rap due to the feminist movement. In feminism, men are the oppressors and the enemy, which leads to a bad dynamic.
This bad rap is leading to a country of children raised without fathers, due to several different influences. One of the biggest is that government aid has made it so a father is not necessary, for anything other than sperm donation. In reality, this isn't true, but it appears to the surface to the mother that they don't need men for their primary role, protection and support, as the state supposedly provides that for them. This has led to an interesting dynamic, more mothers are ending up single than not at this point. As a result, many fathers don't stick around. Many of the ones that do have issues living and functioning as a man in a society where women have demonized them.
Many fathers now feel uncomfortable being affectionate with their daughters because they don't want anyone to get any weird ideas. In a world of pedophiles, the average father is too afraid to show his daughter affection because he doesn't want to be looked at weird. How wrong is that? I remember my own childhood where my father was pointedly not affectionate with me, I look back with different eyes maybe wondering if he might not have had some of these feelings himself. This leads to a child, and later an adult, that is put off by physical connection which is honestly not desireable, considering it's something I deal with myself. I can't help but think the effect of feminism on this world has something to do with it. It seems like men are thought of as such predators, that an affectionate father can be thought of as something to worry about.
Kids need both parents to develop naturally and healthily. The kids with behavorial emotional and health problems are often missing one or both of their parents, studies prove this at this point. There have been studies proving the science behind mirror neurons, meaning you learn how to use your body and live your life by mimicing your natural born, that is your biological parents. Mirror neurons are only activated by your biological parents, so children that are adopted experience difficulties because of the lack of biological parent contact.
So while women can certainly live without men, they really shouldn't want to if they have children. Women who pursue the single mother lifestyle are depriving their kids of imporant developmental help. I don't suggest single mothers stay with abusive partners, but I alsosuggest women shouldn't have children with abusive partners in the first place. If you're a woman seriously considering having children, you need to seriously consider your relationship as well as it's essential for the proper mental and emotional development of your child.
Another issue I have with the feminist movement's approach is the overwhelming use of emotionally based arguments. Since I've learned about logical fallacies, emotionally based arguments have rubbed me wrong, as they're considered to be logical fallacies. They are arguments from emotion, not reason, and emotion isn't always correct. For example, many feminists will talk about cultures in Africa that mutilate female genetalia for various reasons. I've heard so many feminists that say "I cry and fight for the women in Africa with mutilated genitals." What about all the male babies every year that are mutilated in a similar fashion based off of a pedophiliac religious tradition? There's a huge double standard that is seemingly ignored.
I've got no issue with women having rights, that's not the issue here. I believe men and women should have all the same basic rights, anything beyond that in favor of either sex is wrong. No one should have any more rights than another in regards to something just due to their gender, something they've got no control over. A lot of the time what many in the feminist movement argue for is equality in fields where there shouldn't be and naturally isn't. Not only that, many women are living their lives according to feminist ideals that are actually inherently against women at the end of the day.
Again, I've got no issue with equal rights, but a lot of times feminists who also happen to be statists use feminism and it's ideals as a means to control the system. The court system generally favors a mother in a custody case, regardless of if she is fit to parent at that time. I've personally experienced this myself, and it's damaging to the children more than anything else. This is the sort of behavoir that keeps the problems in our society going. A lot of the time, women use their rights to have control over their bodies as a means to get their contraception paid for. It's so misguided in so many ways I really can't even begin to get into all of them here. I understand that not all feminists are this way, but the movement as a whole has bred this sort of mindset regardless of if it indended to do so or not.
In light of the recent feminist protests, I thought something needed said. As a woman, I stand against most feminists because I see the true effects of the movement. Women have been swindled into believing that they are bettering the world through their efforts, when most of the time they are really only alienating men in the process. The idea is not to push men down to pick ourseves up. What we should be striving for is a respect for eachother and the qualities we hold biologically speaking.
Equality is not desired, for me anyway. Equality breeds societies like the ones outlined in Ayn Rand's Anthem, do we really all want to be the same? What we should want is to have an equal level of freedom. Only then can women truly be free to flourish to their fullest potential, to prove where they stand against men in reality which is much closer to equal than the feminists would have you think. We aren't the same, men do have distinct advantages over us, but we have our own advantages over them. By removing the rights of men and breaking them down emotionally as our society has been geared to do, we make the problems we face worse, not better. We breed men that resent and disrespect women as we see today.
If you want a society full of respectful men, we've got to start by being respectful women. Remember that you're not equal and that's a good thing. Your significant other may be better at physical tasks than you, but there's probably something you're way better at then him. While I'm more masculine in my interests than most, I don't have much interest in being a construction worker or something like that. Feminism tells me I should go for it just because it's a boys task, my mind tells me not to because it's not for me. So follow your gut, be proud of your womanly skills instead of worrying about possessing manly skills. I'm more masculine than most in many ways, but I respect the fact that I'm a woman and it shows with how I interact with the world and people around me.
Thanks for reading :)
Screw equality. What we want is equity.
We don't need equity, only equal opportunity. I'm an equal opportunist. If not enough women are in STEM, too bad, they need to try harder, not pull down men to make artificial quotas. And if a woman hits a man she can have the equal opportunity of getting hit back.
Saving for later, thanks
My experience with feminism is very different than yours. Even in the 1970s, my mother was not legally allowed to get a bank account once she was married.
My sister was told by our high school guidance counselor to major in secretarial studies in college, because she was pretty. She did that for a couple years and then said, "Forget that!" and went off to a successful career in environmental policy and leadership. The world is better because she did that -- and she had to fight some feminist fights along the way.
I told that same high school counselor he had nothing useful to offer me - and ended up being the only woman in some of my engineering classes. I even had to raise a ruckus just to be in those engineering classes because the professors didn't want a woman there -- and that's in the 1980s. I've been told I had to wear a dress or polyester pantsuit to work, while guys could wear jeans -- all of us working on computers, out of the view of the public.
You say, "The definition of feminism that I use is the advocacy of women's rights based on equality of sexes. " But then you also say, "I've got no issue with equal rights." In all my experience, feminism is all about equal rights -- as human rights. In all my experience, feminism is not about the equality of sexes. It's about the equality of rights - in finances, in legal matters, in education, in work, in access , in opportunity.
This article's view of feminism is superficial and relies on many generalizations.
I'm not sure when or how the focus on equality of rights got inter-mingled with other issues. And with a nation of over 300 million people (and a global population of over 7 billion), there is so much diversity among people -- putting people into behavioral boxes seems awfully limiting of human potential. I'd much rather deal with people as people, not a sitcom version of stereotypical roles.
Today's feminism is about equal outcome.* (*Only where women are worse off currently.)
Looks like I got to this article 10 months late, but I just wanted to say I appreciate your explanation of feminism being more about equal rights, rather than "equality of sexes" as most other people here seem to base it on. It's unfortunately refreshing to see your point of view here (there should be more like you)!
YES. 100 %
#Rockefeller 100% agreed
Hi, i am very new to this site and i just read your article, why you make good points i just wanted to share that i feel like you have a misconception of what feminism is. I mean, yea i absolutely agree with you when you say there are things women just aren't able to do and that children need both parents to develop and thrive the best they can but that doesn't mean we don't need feminism. There are certain "feminist" issue that i do identify with, like equal pay because for me personally, i am in a field that is predominantly female (education). But that doesn't mean that I don't want equal pay for other women who don't get it. Rape culture is another one, while i have been catcalled like i'm sure almost every women has been, i haven't been sexually assaulted. I know people that have been both men and women. Men don't get treated as equally as women do if they're sexually assaulted so it only makes sense for me to want them to be treated equally, again another reason why i'm a feminist. A lot of the reasons aren't personal and i am very fortunate for that, but i still want people to be treated fairly and equally regardless of gender or sex.
This is just my opinion, thank you for sharing yours because I know it probably wasn't easy and the people (if there are any) that are putting you down for this are doing the opposite of fighting for equality.
Thanks for reading and for the article (:
Thank you for writing this.
If I write anything similar to this, I get belittled and put down.
Even saying something that is basically a fact, like men are stronger than women, gets the reply "not all men". And a put in your place look.
And, what is sad is that women are unhappy, and getting worse.
I hear ya, I've been wanting to write about this one for a long time, I really have lots of issues with the whole movement.
Thanks for the feedback, I wasn't sure how this one would be recieved :)
I haven't actually read it yet , but I do agree that we don't need feminism. Ill let you know what I think when I read it.
Great post, and brave in today's world. That's unfortunate.
Early in our marriage we agreed that we'd go without rather than my wife working outside the home. Our focus was on the family and we homeschooled. She did, however, do daycare at our home for a few years.
To insinuate that she didn't work, even when the daycare wasn't going, would be asinine. When someone asked me what she did, I'd simply tell them that she took care of her family. If they asked if she worked (or insinuated that she didn't), I'd inform them that she worked harder than me. I could do some hard work she couldn't, but couldn't keep up with her. And her hard work in the home probably saved us more than she could have ever brought home while paying for daycare, etc. She tried for a couple of months during a difficult stretch and it just made things worse. Plus, the benefits of having her home and raising our boys at home will last generations.
My wife never felt like what she was doing was less. When she'd read/hear such trash, she'd call it out for what it was. Our sons are out of the home now and the only thing she says she regrets is that she didn't focus more on the family during those years.
No, we're not equal. She's better in many ways.
And I'm sure you're better in many ways, For one you can admit that your wife works harder than you! XD
Objectively men accomplish far more while at the same time being so modest to pretend that women are all beautiful and (in magical, not measurable ways) "better" than men.
I have both and am a Man....BTW I don't get paid much. I have done physical labour and gotten paid more than both women and men....though now I create my own income.
I think the problem lies in labelling anything when most things are
SO MUCH MORE THAN WE PERCIEVE
...hmmm...
Do we die?
Physically speaking we do at least. As for the first part, there are always exceptions :)
Its not that there are exceptions: Its that life comes in a multitude of expressions and sizes.
There is no set form for humans, male or female.
Physically speaking...I become life....always.
Thank you for your article <3
nicely (and bravely) put. followed
Thank you, someone had to say it!
the more that say it, the better
and now is a great time to say it while their illusions are down
they will be building a new dream world to live in soon enough
Equal does not mean same. If you say two things are equal, you have to also say in what way they are equal. Only if they are equal in all ways are they the same.
Thank you for your post.
I like to look at the notion of female / male equality slightly different. Humans are naturally attracted to things that they want or value or find valuable. In my relationship with my wife for example, I find her extremely valuable in many ways. Many of which I find she is vastly superior to me (eg. abstract thinking).
Reciprocally, I would expect that she is attracted to me partly as well for the ways that I exceed her abilities and that I am superior in (eg. mechanical abilities). And I find that as a couple we are stronger and better than we would be as two separate individuals.
This is precisely because we can leverage each other's unique talents and skills for the fulfillment and betterment of both of us. Which is why in part we are attracted to each other. Alas c'est la vie.
:)
It's your biology telling you that you need eachother :)
I notice the same thing with John. With work I could do a lot of the things he does, but why would I want to when he's so much better equipped? Vise versa!
That's awesome. It's really refreshing to hear more from women like yourself. Much appreciated. :)
I would suggest that we amend the "men and women are not equal" to "men and women are not the same." There is a difference and it would be beneficial for people all around the issue to think of it in such words, imho.
I would, had I not defined what I mean by equal. It's not quite so confusing when terms are defined and I think it just works a bit better considering my point.
I appreciate the input, it was something I considered myself before coming to the decision I did about it.
I spent way too long on this article haha.
Well said Lily!
As a young man, I returned to school in order to gain the education level required to join the Air Force as a Pilot in Australia. I still have the essay I wrote back then, titled Man v Woman, in which I postulated that the Feminist movement was irrational, simply because men considered women to be greater beings, and any attempt to gain equality implied a reduction in their status, rather than an improvement.
Just this week, I attended the funeral of my Auntie in Sydney. She was the person who I nominated in that essay as a person to be admired, above all others, men included. I considered her superior to me, and her husband, no contest. Why, because she was a mother and wife, and played the role as well as she could. She wasn't perfect, but she was more perfect than anyone else I knew, and I will always love her for the sacrifices she made for the benefit of her family.
Nowadays, the idea of self -sacrifice is not popular, but that only makes it more valuable a quality. Looking at the state of the world right now, I'm reminded of the old song, "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone....."
Women provided that love in the past, which, along with the different style of love that real men provide, binds families together, and they in turn bound societies together.
You're right about the nature of feminism, which was initially funded by the Rockefeller foundation after WW2, for the following reasons:
Now, the really interesting part is why they're going to all this trouble to destroy social cohesion, but that would take too long to explain in detail. Suffice to say, the end goal is the domination of all people under a one world govt, and a single currency, under the control of the UN, IMF, and World Bank.
There is much more to this than you may realize, but you're certainly on the right track to find the truth about it all.
Don't take any of the critical posts too personally either. They don't like having their beliefs challenged, especially with reason, so you'll usually be attacked personally, or with emotive arguments that have no basis in fact.
However, stick with your thinking, and always prove things before you accept them, as you seem to be doing. Stay calm, and rational, while others are losing their heads, and you'll find they can't harm you.
Cheers,
Peter
This was a great reply, the sort of thing bloggers hope for, so thank you.
It's a topic that's been on my mind but hard to put together in a coherent fashion. Right after I posted this, I found a different, much better referenced version of mine essentially, which I appreciated. I have recieved a little blowback, but it's honestly been a lot less than expected which gives me hope.
Much of the blowback is emotionally based and based on old propoganda that just doesn't hold true anymore.
This whole thing is a huge rabbit whole toting Planned Parenthood, Schools, feminism and communism all into one fucked up little circus. I've looked into it a lot over these last several years, although I can't say I've covered even a fraction of what the folks over a Tragedy and Hope have.
And finally, as a woman, I'm ashamed of what women have turned the world into. The closer I get to the more "traditional" woman role, the more empowered I feel. As I adopt these skills that I'm actually physically suited for, I gain confidence in the fact that I am making myself into what the pioneer women did back in the day, irreplaceable.
Whether the girl in the picture likes it or not, it's too late for traditionalism. Men aren't going to want to marry and provide for women anymore, and best bet that if a woman puts her hands on a man he'd be more than happy to return the favor.
I'm not pushing traditionalism but more of a realism. We have roles we're naturally better for. We can make use of this in a modern world with modern relationships as I'm finding out in my own life. My life is anything but traditional.
What are examples of roles for women and roles for men in your ideal world?
Of course people are different, but most people agree that equality of opportunity is good, and feminism is about equality of opportunity between men and women.
Feminism is not about equality, if it was it wouldn't be called feminism. Would you say masculinism is about equality as well?
you are a smart woman/girl
Wiki How Spoof: Incorporating Feminism Into Daily Life