You know, you watch the movies about people hitting dead end. And you get this sense of... emotion for them. But at the end of the day you're always able to pull back to reality. At the end of the day, It's not you.
Today, at 6:42 June 12th, I had a phone call from my coach and account manager. They told me that they no longer think that I represent the company and that they will be letting me Go.
Hearing that.. Sent a shockwave through my body, and a chill from my spine. A realization that: My life just got 200% harder.
My rent is being hiked up already, and I'm losing included electricity. I couldn't afford to stay, now I just can't afford it at all.
I worked as a work at home Catering Specialist for Boston Market. I've worked on the program for about... 6 months? Yeah, six months if you include training.
It was a shitty job. Catering Specialist? A glorified name for working as a customer rep... Being a Customer Rep.. Is terrible. You are literally the punching bag of the company. And it's not like these companies care about customers. You have to work up the willpower, day to day, day in day out to care for people who curse at you, scream at you. And endless torrent of angry wailing customers. All ready to peg the blame solely on you.
But I did it. I did it well.
At least, that's what my coach told me when I demanded an explanation from my boot from the program. The truth she told me, was because the program had over hired and they were looking to cut costs on the program. That explains the low hours. I guess. Since I had the highest average handle time of all who were left on the program, the wheel fell on me.
It feels so shitty, to be abused by not only customers but by a giant company who's supposed to care about you.
They don't understand nor care that I'm on the brink of being homeless.
I'm just another digit. Another gear in the Cog. I've been working on their program for 6 months, and a full year on at the on site location.
Sitting in my computer chair, trying to think of what I can do. Fighting this anxiety attack.
What am I going to do, what can I do? I don't know.
One thing I can't do is sit around. I need to jump on something right now. And I'm tired of working for shitty shady 2 bit thug companies. I need to carve my life out of this hole. I'm tired of looking at the horizon for a better future. I'm tired of hearing about promotions and how I'll do better if I just stick around. Like, I'm so sick of putting all my effort into something, and everything just fucking fails.
I have my graphics design to fall back to. To be honest, I didn't really like it you know? Freelance working was tough. And, turning my passion into making money, zapped the passion. And sometimes work was hard to come by.
What they don't tell you, is that to make it big in graphics design you have to reach out and do some serious networking, youtube, twitter, linkedin, blogging. It's not that easy to be freelance designer. Not unless you're up there and well known.
Thanks for reading, I'll give updates.. As soon as I figure out those updates. I'm sorry for the shitpost, my mind is not right at the moment, I'm not thinking correctly on a lot. Typing is pretty much all I have to ward off this impending anxiety attack.
Update:
I took some time to just sit back and think. I have a history of anxiety problems. So I just sort of stood back to re-evaluate everything. Then, I just opened Illustrator. I didn't do anything with it, just wanted to see what I could come up with. I couldn't come up with anything. I saw a notification on my desktop. Reply from @donkeypong, I thought. So. I thought the name was super interesting. So I just started working on a design. Mid design, I saw this it was actually a donation from @donkeypong. So, I took it from to the next level, and actually really put a bit more effort. So @donkeypong, please message me on steemit chat so I can give you all the files for this design. It's not much, and you may not even find a use for it, but I still would like you to have it as a token of my deep appreciation for your support.
I'll be opening up a steemgigs post. I'll recreate my shattered portfolio. And I'll start doing freelance work. It's going to be hard but I'm going back to design bootcamp in the meantime. And I'll still be doing my logo giveaway.
I'm going to be putting emphasis on producing material that the whole of Steemit can use. Not just a few. I will keep doing my logo giveaways. I have big plans that are going to really help this community out. I'm confident with the support you all are giving me, I will be able to do it.
Thank you to everyone who's been showing this almost blinding support. I sincerly thank you guys.
I just kind of zoned out for a minute you know. The kind of zoning out you do when you hear some really bad news. I've re-re-read my post. And I feel a sense of weakness. The groveling kind of weakness. Did I really blog about this? That's a kind of impulsive thing to do.
Regardless, I really want to thank you folks for your extremely kind words. I don't deserve any of it. But I do very very much appreciate it. The views, the upvotes, the follows, the words of inspiration and consideration you guys are giving, me, a stranger.
Thank you couldn't even begin to cover it, but it is a start.
@donkeypong, I saw your donation. I appreciate it. I saw your name pop up on my screen while I was staring at a blank screen on illustrator. I wanted to thank you, so I made you this. It's really rough, but I have put effort into it. I'd be willing to even finish it to your specifications. It's not enough to properly thank you for what you did and are doing for me.. But it's a start.
You guys are really terrific and deep hearted people. And yes, I'm going to fight this. The fire under my ass has been re-kindled, and it's unbearably hot. But I'm going to fight this. I'll re-open my graphics design services. I'll have to put a bunch of effort in. And that's just how it's got to be. I can do it, I believe I can.
Thanks for inspiring me you all.
Thank you. I'm flattered. Feel free to contact me on Steemit.chat.
Stay strong @malicered. And kudos to you @donkeypong! It's good to see those kind of actions.
Hang in there @malicered
This very well could be a complete blessing in disguise.
You have way more time now!... TIME. Our most precious , unrenewable resource/asset.
Time to figure out what to do that ultimately gives you security and fulfillment.
It is the anxiety that is the fire under your @$$ that makes you move and react.
Breathe. You will find a way. 🤔😏😎
Don't be disappointed for losing your job m8 ! Have you ever thought that this maybe is for your own good ? A good turn in your life ? Being your own boss ? Work online independetly ? And be financially free ?
I started this comment but there were so many things,advices and recommendations i wanted to tell you so i created this post .
I hope you will find it useful . Fell free to AMA .
Nice logo there.
If you need tips on how to be homeless the right way in America, I've done it both in Phoenix AZ and Newark DE. I am experienced at this.
Dude. I know exactly how you feel. I was just in a pretty big bind myself.
How much do you need to pay your rent? Let's get you some work/donations and keep you off the street. Your content here is good, and given time, you will be making far morw on Steemit than stupid ass Boston Market could have ever payed you. I realize kind words don't pay the bills, but good content and hard work can.
I'll ask around the community, and see what kind of help we can muster up for you.
You should not feel bad for letting out your stress and anxiety. There is no shame in moments of weakness, if you could even call them that. We are human, and I love Steemit as I find it a supportive community where we recognise each other's humanity.
I just got fired in May, from Home Despot because they did not want to pay me as much as they were paying me and I got unemployment - - now I am trying to get something better or get something going on my own - I think I might one day be able to live off of steemit posts... don't despair - if you can somehow keep the faith you might be able to find something soo much better than working for "the man"...
Hey thanks for your glowing support @in2itiveart. I used to work in a warehouse for Genesis, and I knew for a fact that I was destined for something greater.
I was going to say something cool like, The man better hope I don't get big enough, because one day I will crush him. The thing about these companies, they're like a Hydra, there's tons of them, and even if you get lucky and cut one's head off, 2 more take its place. Instead, I rather inspire the next generation of business owners and startups, inspire them to rethink outside the box. Maybe one day, there just might be a day when companies treat you more like family, and a little less like a condom. Sorry for getting vulgar. Just saying, There can be a way to have a cheaper income workforce, and more care about employees.
Hey @malicered - not vulgar at all - a PERFECT description. You inspired me to write my story of when I lost my job working for the Art Institute of Colorado back after the 08 crash and was couch-surfing for 6 years. I started part 1 with illustrations tonite if you want to check it out on my page - I am a complete misfit in this society - being an artist - totally right-brained - and I survived that horrible 6 year period - so I suspect you will too. I know CO economy fuelled by weed might be better than the rest of the country, but still - I bet you will find something good - if you keep your attitude up - I know that is super hard - last time I was very fearful of financial insecurity and so I was constantly looking for "where's mine" - this time- having survived that time - I am proceeding as if I have income while being prudent - I do have unemployment for the next 6 months - so that's a blessing!
Hope the fog clears quickly and you find something to focus on. Sounds like the job you had gave only grief. Sometimes you have to get smacked in the face to find the courage/ energy or whatever is needed to do or find what you love.
And who knows, maybe Steemit is a good fresh platform to start sharing your designs?
Best of luck!
Hang in there Malice !
I'm sure you'll figure something out !
I wish you the best !
This whole post reminds me of Verizon haha...
Seriouly man, all I did was go on Indeed and find jobs that I would love to do. Make a dank resume, and don't settle for less than you want. Luckily I had my amazing girlfriend to support me through this time. I hope you have something like that to fall back on brother. I'll be sending you positive thoughts.
Stay in the moment. Stress is the mind killer.
Focus on what you do have.
There are plenty of blessings in disguise.
Wishing you all the best.
Hang in there. Use that anxious energy to put your plans into motion. It'll be better tomorrow.
Hang in there, I have seen some times i would not wish on anyone but pulled myself out of them. I learned that in dark times there is a hidden message to learn and grow from and once you grasp that reasoning of why things are what they are you tend to ride out of the storm unscathed. We are rooting for you and I will help where I can. Just followed you and I am about to RESTEEM this to my pages called Steemit Blogger Central. We also have a SLACK so users can share articles and gather, your invited. All the bets, hope this helps you out some.
https://www.facebook.com/steemitbc
https://twitter.com/steemitbc
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened, @malicered. I will do two things:
I will pray for you and also upvote your post to show support!
I am believing you will come out better than you were before! Stay strong!
Praying for a break @malicered , stay calm and steem on! @ironshield
Take care of yourself! You got this!
damn malice, i was a big fan of your work. Hope you get by soon
No advice from me, and no words of consolation – I'm shit at these things; you know: just breathe, clear your mind, and whatever you do, keep breathing, "Crisis" is the same word as "opportunity" in Chinese and all that jazz. Just one voice in the chorus of support.
I worked in a call center for 3 years. It was hell. When I lost that job, I felt hopeless, because a shitty job was at least a paycheck. But I have managed to sorta-kinda hold on, and got a better job eventually.
Wow thats rotten from a money perspective, but it sounds like that job was slowly killing you anyway; I have experience with that and no matter how dire your situation being out of that job is a good move long term. What I realised when I quit my job a few months ago is how much money I was spending just for the privilege of going to work, my expenses have been cut in half!
I get that your passion was a killer in terms of making it your job, but hopefully you can do some work on steemit for some extra cash.
This too Shall pass!!!
Keep Steeming, dude. But if you want to check out someone that's been there and done that - @l0k1
One door closes another opens, may not feel like right at the minute. However, looking back it could be the catalyst to something better.
Id recommend thinking about teaching others how to be designers.
Be it on a case by case basis or an online course.
Nice story, thanks for sharing. I think that Steemit will help you pull you up, and also if you can design, you will probably be surprised ! You can start contests, just pull some ideas if you're feeling creative. Steemit is pulling my creativity up and i can't wait to get a camera. Maybe you can also think in hand drawing, just a challenge ;)
Following I hope to see a great update post from you soon. Sorry things are a bit crappy at the moment
I need some graphics work done for my blog, I'm sending you a message on steemchat now...
Cant put a price on happiness - plenty of ways to thrive right now online - you can do it! Better to go boldly in the direction of your vision than to be shackled to a employeeslavery soul sucking slow death! Youve been set free - destiny to achieve greater heights
Hey man,
I am actually considering switching to Graphic (UI/UX) Design from a more "lucrative" career of a Hacker/Developer/IT Guy and I also want to switch to freelance for more freedom, even though I know it's tough. But in the country I am in right now I get paid shit no matter what.
So I will keep an eye on your progress, maybe we can do some collaboration at some point.
Plus I will be organizing a Design Challenge which you should take part in as you could win a bit of Steem Dollars.