That's a tough one. I'm not sure what I would do as I have always had parents who respected the same child rearing rules as me. It seems that if you try to enforce it it might end up an all out war and I'm not sure how much she will oblige anyway? Is it something you have spoken to her about before , because if you have and she is going against your wishes anyway I can't see that she is likely to change. You definitely need to talk calmly to her about the effect her actions might have on Esteban and you. Just because you are dying does not give you a licence to others through your actions. Harsh maybe but true. \n\nThe be sad when she is sad rule is, well, sad. When Dad got depressed when he was suffering chemo, we all treated him with humour and positivity. Mum absolutely was more tolerant of him being grumpy , because she thought he was dying, and he was really ill. The first thing that he said to her when he got the all clear was I suppose I have to do the dishes tonight then? Haha.\n\nI don't think this journey is easy on any of you and I wish you all the very best as you negotiate this difficult time.
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Love your little story ending with the dishes line. I can see him smiling as he said it ;)
Man it's a tough one here. I suppose that's why i needed to blurt it all out.
This is the bottom line really isn't it, but when I dig deeper I can see this behaviour was there before the cancer, passed down like a family tradition from her own mother, who died of cancer by the way.
The patterns of thought are entrenched because they have been there forever. And it is not my place to do anything about this.
The positive in all of this is for Sabrina who is opening her eyes for the first time to who her mother really is. Naturally, many of her mother's thinking habits have been passed on and through recognising their origin I think she will be in a much better place to release them.