Welcome to Punday Monday!
You can jump in any time, and if you aren’t sure how to make a pun, here’s a handy dandy guide:
If you’re new here, pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars! I’m your puntender, @improv.
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
(Please note, to be eligible to win a prize, your pun must be your original work - coincidentally making the same joke as someone else is tolerated, but you should really read the other puns here before making your joke and see if someone else has already made it ;D. To be eligible for prizes, puns must be on-topic!)
If you’re an oldtimer, welcome back! Get to know some of the whippersnappers, here, we have a special mixed drink for you on the house:
(Why do fisherman use sheep as bait on election day? They’re making sure to cast their baa a lot!)
And since you’re an oldtimer, you might be interested in the results of our first annual best pun contest:
https://steemit.com/contest/@freewritehouse/punday-monday-year-one-day-awards-ceremony
If you’re an any-timer, old or whipper, make sure you visit @freewritehouse! There you can meet fellow lovers of goofiness and find even more contests every week! We’re also now featured in the @steembasicincome contest round-up! Find more opportunities to win SBI there!
Hang on to your punderwear...
There’s no business like show business, so let’s show you the business we’re dealing with today!
Here’s last week’s post, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/punday-monday-71-giving-out-sbi-like-it-s-candy
Rookie of the Week
@joeyarnoldvn! I’m not 100% sure you haven’t been here before, because you got STYLE, my friend. Regardless, I hope now that you’ve won Rookie of the Week, you’ll become a regular!
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Pocket Choice awards
Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here:
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/439thv-pocket-friday-for-punday-monday
Guaranteed Daily Income and Payout for Newbies (2.0) in #ccc and Follow the Honor Code - the Creed (Conditions and Limits Inside)
AND
the latest update <<< please click to read.This week’s winner will win 3 #steembasicincome units. The first comes courtesy of @freedomshift and #ccc. He sponsors an SBI award for our #ccc qualified contest posts, and he asked me to post this:
This is an Invitation to join #ccc for
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The second comes courtesy of @curie (and is sent by me, @improv) and the third comes courtesy of me, @improv.
Yes, @paul.atreides made it a tie, but he knew what he was doing, the booger, so I’ve decided that a tie goes to the whichever of the two accounts received POCKET first in that round.
Therefore, @heroic15397 won because @coinsandchains chose him first! You could be breaking these ties! You can get some POCKET to vote with, easy peasy! @paul.atreides has accepted his task! If you want to vote on your favorite pun, but you don’t have any POCKET to do it with, he’ll send you some. Just ask in a memo or message!
The folks in the POCKET Choice winner's circle Season One were @aloha-creations, @professorbromide, @tcpolymath, @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.
Season Two POCKET Choice Winner’s Circle:
@ablaze, @coinsandchains, @dollarsandsense, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397
and our grand prize…
The prize for best pun
Best pun of the entire week
Best Overall Pun
DRUMROLL, PLEASE
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@paul.atreides, this is such a tight pun. It uses both meanings so seamlessly. It must win.
But by golly, all the punsters had an incredible week, and so you know what that means…
PRIZES FOR EVERYONE!
And what prizes do they win, you ask?
Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions (and SBI this time!). (WORTH $0.004! So much value!)
Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote -let me know in a comment here- and a @tipu tip!
And they all get big, exciting SBI prizes!
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(@heroic15397, you’ll get your one more SBI for the POCKET Choice award from @freedomshift!)
This week's pun topic is...
Politics!
As in,
When two like-minded single people finally go out, they have to see a dentist shortly thereafter… Why? Because they keep agreeing on candy dates.
Perfect,
I'm so good at puns....
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
Who do I nominate for @comedyopenmic’s comedy challenge? This past week’s winners, @heroic15397, @paul.atreides, and @joeyarnoldvn...
And, as long as I have your attention… well, this place is already saturated with people who have referral codes for various “free money” things, but here are mine!
(Hot tip, I buy BTC on pro.coinbase.com, then send it to bittrex to trade for Steem and send steem to my wallet here. It’s the most efficient way with the fewest fees I’ve found. If you’ve found better, let me know. - I learned from someone else that buying LTC and sending it to bittrex then trading it for BTC then trading that for STEEM is the least-fees way. Can someone confirm?)
Coinbase: Cryptocurrency investment- https://www.coinbase.com/join/5929c0788331aa072d9e347e
Robinhood: investment platform buying/selling stocks- http://share.robinhood.com/brendaw92
Earn.com: small tasks for small rewards (need a business or .edu email) - http://earn.com/improv/referral/?a=qmk07e7tzua677hk
Mannabase: sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency- https://www.mannabase.com/?ref=3984bea863
Swift: Yet another attempt at a UBI: https://www.swiftdemand.com/?referred_by=lochleinn
And, if you’re interested in more traditional investing, Swell, which invests in stocks that have a positive social impact according to their standards, has a referral program whereby they’ll match your first $50 investment: https://www.swellinvesting.com/signup/d4b97d
Hi improv,
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Ah man, I'm late to the party....
You know Trump is a lot like Obama, They both O-Bomb-aed a lot of jokes.
I guess I pretty much O-bomb-aed that one myself, I guess I'll have to pull out my Trump card.
No seriously, it's a card that says I voted for Trump...
I asked the lady next door who has all the cats what she thought about Politics. She replied: "Politics stresses MEOWT"
I've a FELINE she won't be voting in the midterm elections. I guess cats TRUMP politics in her HOUSE.
She must have twenty cats. I've SENATE all now...
Ha! You turned it into the topic: CATS.
Why does Ben Carson think a feline will win? Because, as a doctor, he knows catscan.
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and as the Director of HUD he implemented a strict "No pets" policy because he also knows that CATS DOO.
Why don't people like being around politicians?
They're such a campain.
What do you call a political commentator who always make wordplays? A pundit.
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What happened with the election in Florida last week? Can someone RECOUNT the tale?
What do you call a libertine's vote, especially when it is decisive of an election's result? A swing vote.
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What do you call a group of crooked politicians chained together and dragged to the bottom of the ocean? A good start!
No, but seriously folks, I love politicians. The last time I met one, he was so sincere, I had the distinct feeling all of my social, fiscal, constitutional, and personal rights would be taken care of. So much so, that it was disappointing and shocking to discover the politician was not a politician at all, but a wooden puppet sitting on the lap of my dyslexic ventriloquist neighbor, who was, at that time, in the act of contemplating whether there actually was a DOG.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One... if it's campaign season.
then he will get LIT with the light bulb lobbyist to celebrate the accomplishment.
I didn't see any line related to politics there. But I think I have one here.
Why do politicians always succeed in lying,
Because they don't want to fail the MATHS
...I don't get it. Can you explain it?
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Ya scratching my head here as well...
I know I am actually bad at punning.
I was just trying to say that the reason politicians like to lie a lot is because they don't like to fail the mass or maths.
I am not sure if it is even related
Ah! Maths like masses! A slant pun, very pleasurable.
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Thanks. I thought I got it all wrong
You just missed the bada bing!
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How? I don't understand yet
When eating at a round table with democrats, always pass to the left and then everyone will always be right.
Rad! I’m just finding your contest and overall page and its awesome. I also do theatre, and have done quite a lot of improv work. Stoked to find you and follow along!
Hooray and welcome!
pocketsend:1001@lilyraabe, here are some tokens so you can vote for your favorite puns on the POCKET Friday post.
Successful Send of 1001
Sending Account: paul.atreides
Receiving Account: lilyraabe
New sending account balance: 2586255
New receiving account balance: 1000
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 4328e599ba6ef84072ec8c10129e2f6c77c467c5
Thanks for using POCKET! I am running this confirmer code.
Thank you for being proactive! But I think wait until folks express an interest in POCKET Friday before sending them the tokens. So far none of our "drop by without participating" comments have gone on to vote. I think maybe ask them first if they'd like to?
Here's my post:
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@paul.atreides/5-minute-freewrite-tuesday-prompt-resurrect
Thanks for the mention and for rookie of the week. i got to get back into this.