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RE: The story of Mr. Renhe Ren (Finish The Story Entry)

in #finishthestory6 years ago (edited)

While I appreciate your extreme generosity in trying to find value in the meaning that everyone has taken from this, that was not my intention either. Although that was the result of his actions, that was not what i had hoped had been the take away. Mr. Renhe Ren heard the words of the wise man, and acted on them, he went to meditate, but with the one goal in mind, he didn't meditate on the meaning of the words, or on possible solutions, just on the one thing he wanted, and kept at it til he got it. I am not so familiar with Confucian ethics, so sadly that element in your first half went over my head. I wanted to imply he had taken wise words literally, which were not meant as such. The rehabilitation of his enemy was supposed to represent a possibility he missed, and the parts referencing how the village had viewed both of them were intended to suggest other ways things could have been, had Mr. Renhe Ren reflected on the words, and thought about their meaning. I had been going for 'don't take things at face value, reflect, and take time to understand'

I had tried to play a little with the people element and imply the root of jealous and similar feelings that had lead to his enemies treatment of him. Instead of that aspect being that everyone is easily replaceable and no one really matters (which to be fair, I am not arguing with) more that walking away from the people who belittle and undermine you, is just as much walking away from yourself. It can free you to find a new you, or you can find you have lost what mattered.

The meaning I had wanted to give to the words, was not to sit by a river bank, but to sit by the river of life, and to let things play out. I had noticed the wise man said the river, where as Mr Renhe. Ren went and sat at a river and wanted to work from that aspect.

I had tried to set it up so it seemed like the villagers would not have stood for his enemies bullying of him for much longer, so had he let their differences continue, his enemy would have been pushed out, so if he had let nature take its course (back to the river reference) then it would have resolved itself.

I also thought a lot about the part 'sit by the river bank' and what that could mean, it seems like an activity of peace, and reflection, so i wanted to suggest had Mr. Renhe Ren approached his enemy in peace and reflection, his enemy would have been such no more.

The ending was supposed to be Mr Renhe. Ren realizing that he had not done as the wise man had said, but equally, the words have still been fulfilled, so an element of being careful what you wish for, as you don't know how it might happen, i only thought I could've included a bit about his thoughts here after I had posted it, and figured it was too much of an edit to go for. My dear friend has already pointed out my vanity in asking people to guess the meaning, and pointed out I should've stated it, so I have gained a lot from this still, thank you very much, your opening was wonderful to work with, even if i did take your beautiful car and crash it lol
I had wanted to play an element of hubris of Mr Renhe. Ren but alas, it was my own.

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Oh no, my dear! I don't want you think you "crashed" my opening or you had some hybris, or you missed the point or whatever else...
My whole comment was a free ramble of thoughts, a thing that happens when I read something stimulating and I can't avoid overthinking about it. This is a beautiful thing and you wrote, as always, a nice story.
Frankly, I don't think you showed vanity or did something wrong... that's your ending and you have to be free to write or edit what you want.