Opening by @marcoriccardi
It is said that Mr. Renhe Ren, of Daochu village, in the province of Quan Shijie, in his forty-second year of life, was seized by a great rage because of his long-standing enemy, who was constantly working to hinder and ruin any of his activities and projects. Faced with the umpteenth abuse, Mr. Renhe Ren felt that his harmony and self-control were going to be lost. He was no longer able to feel the noble sentiments worthy of a superior man.
Then he remembered the words of the wise man. "Sit down along the river bank and wait, sooner or later you will see the corpse of your enemy pass". So, he left the village of Daochu and went down to the river. He found a willow with a wide foliage that bent gently over the water, and sat down in his shadow, determined to wait until the wisdom of the ancestors had brought a solution to his problem.
He awaited for days and nights, meditating. Sun, rain, wind and fog alternated tormenting him, but neither the heat, nor the cold, nor the humidity, nor the insects distracted him from his waiting. Time passed, until one day in late autumn, the stream swollen for the rains brought a corpse to its feet, face down. Mr. Renhe Ren shook himself from his meditation and leaned towards the muddy water, his heart finally calm.
Great was his surprise when he saw…
My Ending
...the mirage of meditation gone. Glancing between the ripples, his fluid reflection looked back, unchanged. For although his heart had settled in calm, for years his tribulations had etched his face with lines that would not fade lapping against the shore.
Mr. Renhe Ren returned to the village of Daochu, his sense of harmony and self control restored.
However upon his return, he realised his absence had created a vacuum, for his activities and projects had lain in neglect. In to this vacuum, Mr. Renhe Ren found, his enemy had slipped.
When the village had looked to Mr. Renhe Ren, the patient man they had seen persevere despite his obvious torments, and found him gone for so long, they had reluctantly turned to someone else. Although Mr. Renhe Ren was welcomed back, greeted jubilantly by those who declared him sorely missed, over the subsequent days he found his place had been filled. His activities, his projects, had been taken over in his absence. No one came to him for advice, for help with the carts, nor the animals; no one came to him at all.
His enemy had also changed in the eyes of the village; he was no longer held as the bitter, petty man who’s daily abuse of others had been gradually eroded his standing. Instead, the village of Daochu saw him as man labouring over hastily neglected projects, his previous malice unexpectedly forgiven.
A sense of uneasiness crept over Mr. Renhe Ren as he thought of the corpse, washed up in his meditation. Had he not sat by the bank of a river… surely that was what the wise man had meant..
Well under the word count, for once! I had a bit of fun with this one, and hope it came across. I wanted to suggest that Mr. Renhe Ren took words literally that were not meant as such, but I tried to weave in two possible interpretations of what the wise men had meant, and it may have been too much, so let me know what you think. Slightly edited the ending which hopefully helps. I grew up with a lot of fables, and do love the sometimes peculiar and ambiguous morals in them.
This is for @bananafish 's #finishthestory contest which is again hosted by the fabulous @brisby bravely mapping the uncharted banana realms. Our opening has been provided by @marcoriccardi who is not only a talented poet and author, but also runs our haiku contest over on the @bananafish page, make sure to head over, check out all the endings and see what else we have going on!
Photo Credit by Pixabay User ildigo who has a wonderful collection of landscapes and nature shots perfect for the calm feelings of meditation
Your "maverick" final made me very reflect. If, as was my intention, we assume this story is set in a sort of old China, then the bewilderment of Mr. Renhe Ren can be explained with his Confucian ethics: everyone in the world has a place and a precise role. Being out of the mechanism, replaced, it's probably a nightmare for him.
I think, therefore, your ending is very realistic and accurate, but... I like to imagine that it may have been a passing moment, before Mr. Renhe Ren realized that could be the true occasion for breaking the chains and reaching the full realization of himself, perhaps assuming some principle of Buddhism. To understand that nothing and nobody is indispensable, everything is ephemeral, it's an important step to free oneself.
I remember that at the first yoga class I learned: "nothing is under control, so everything is fine".
While I appreciate your extreme generosity in trying to find value in the meaning that everyone has taken from this, that was not my intention either. Although that was the result of his actions, that was not what i had hoped had been the take away. Mr. Renhe Ren heard the words of the wise man, and acted on them, he went to meditate, but with the one goal in mind, he didn't meditate on the meaning of the words, or on possible solutions, just on the one thing he wanted, and kept at it til he got it. I am not so familiar with Confucian ethics, so sadly that element in your first half went over my head. I wanted to imply he had taken wise words literally, which were not meant as such. The rehabilitation of his enemy was supposed to represent a possibility he missed, and the parts referencing how the village had viewed both of them were intended to suggest other ways things could have been, had Mr. Renhe Ren reflected on the words, and thought about their meaning. I had been going for 'don't take things at face value, reflect, and take time to understand'
I had tried to play a little with the people element and imply the root of jealous and similar feelings that had lead to his enemies treatment of him. Instead of that aspect being that everyone is easily replaceable and no one really matters (which to be fair, I am not arguing with) more that walking away from the people who belittle and undermine you, is just as much walking away from yourself. It can free you to find a new you, or you can find you have lost what mattered.
The meaning I had wanted to give to the words, was not to sit by a river bank, but to sit by the river of life, and to let things play out. I had noticed the wise man said the river, where as Mr Renhe. Ren went and sat at a river and wanted to work from that aspect.
I had tried to set it up so it seemed like the villagers would not have stood for his enemies bullying of him for much longer, so had he let their differences continue, his enemy would have been pushed out, so if he had let nature take its course (back to the river reference) then it would have resolved itself.
I also thought a lot about the part 'sit by the river bank' and what that could mean, it seems like an activity of peace, and reflection, so i wanted to suggest had Mr. Renhe Ren approached his enemy in peace and reflection, his enemy would have been such no more.
The ending was supposed to be Mr Renhe. Ren realizing that he had not done as the wise man had said, but equally, the words have still been fulfilled, so an element of being careful what you wish for, as you don't know how it might happen, i only thought I could've included a bit about his thoughts here after I had posted it, and figured it was too much of an edit to go for. My dear friend has already pointed out my vanity in asking people to guess the meaning, and pointed out I should've stated it, so I have gained a lot from this still, thank you very much, your opening was wonderful to work with, even if i did take your beautiful car and crash it lol
I had wanted to play an element of hubris of Mr Renhe. Ren but alas, it was my own.
Oh no, my dear! I don't want you think you "crashed" my opening or you had some hybris, or you missed the point or whatever else...
My whole comment was a free ramble of thoughts, a thing that happens when I read something stimulating and I can't avoid overthinking about it. This is a beautiful thing and you wrote, as always, a nice story.
Frankly, I don't think you showed vanity or did something wrong... that's your ending and you have to be free to write or edit what you want.
As we interspersed in our DMs, I'm not gonna bring up what we brought up in our DMs; so let's find the smile underneath the skin (I need not explain the literalness of this remark). Anyways, takes a breathe if @amirani was existential spirituality, @felt.buzz existential nightmares, @wakeupkitty on perverted faith and @agmoore on reconciliation, @sarez on culture shock, then yers are on doubting myths. (Or to be egregious, when myths betray people and actually do the opposite.) While we do have a literal post of Mr. Renshi Ren coming back to find his post occupied by his rival and relegated to the dirt of the Earth, the ending obscenity is what secures what has happened.
That being the essence of purposelessness which cannot relish in thinking of one's economic standings and must falter back to the myth. Sincerely do we see Mr. Renshi Ren thinking but only anxious at the end; to some this being the "oh shit moment" and to others the realization that he truly knew nothing. Both ways, we still see the doubt of the myth; shattered by a very bland reality that he cannot live in before feeling even more displaced and terrorized by something he exists clearly on without any serious threats out for him now. For the bland reality is, when sincerely looked at, a horrifyingly depressing World if one's biases are pushed aside: work, do, shit, walk and sleep.
However, as a dysfunction of his negated ruling class status, he finds a lesser pain in doubting the myth than facing the pain that he can no longer be a member of the ruling class. Through this conveniency, though he may have noticed he screwed up, he still blames himself and the myth for bringing him to dishonor. When in fact, no one is to blame as his absence caused such replacement and the evidence is there to go beyond the simplicity of blame. However, he cannot see the very real economic forces that the village is strung by; only the play-offs of such in the cultural and ideological constellation of which now he doubts the myth.
For in doubting the myth does it not only act as doubting the tales he grew up believing and also a dysfunction to avoid thinking on economic reality, it gives him the edge to finally see how he isn't the center of the World however much he retreats away afterwards. Thus, this obscenity of the retreat is how we can even know he felt the pain of human centrality being displaced when realizing that no human is special. That indeed, how one's perceptions can change at the whims of time and the economy. The more distant the relevant memories are, the less they matter in the formation of newer relevant memories. Egregiously, we have a case study (exemplum to be proper) of class consciousness being shattered and realizing the futility of one's position; all based on the economic concerns and actions of the time of which he failed to live up.
This is a very profound interpretation, which I appreciate very much, even if it is not the only one possible. The discovery of not being indispensable could also be, after the moment of initial loss, the premise for a true spiritual liberation.
{Let's still remember that the primary aspect is a fable on misinterpreting advice, of which allows this secondary aspect to thrive. Anyways, me-n-mój Ukochany got some poems up~}
It's amazing how you saw so much I hadn't meant to put in there, I appreciate your analysis and final take away from this. It is very insightful to be so sincerely misunderstood, and gives me a lot i can learn from going forwards <3 and it is of course a true thing, that if you let bullies drive you away from things, you have only handed them what they wanted, although that is a way is liberating, instead of the things you love being a shackle, the chains yanked by tormentors, one is freed to make their own way, and be their own selves. By having the world known taken away, the bully may gain that world for selves, but it was only ever a small view. And as you say, doubting the myth which had defined his life, and displacing the pain of torment with the lesser pain of a new start, a person can be liberated and find a whole new life in the wider world.
talk to me cal POKE
First entry I read where the scenario of the riverside meditation is quickly left behind, and a confrontation with the more real, crude world is at hand! And not only that, but also the whole introspective initiative of foolish Mr Ren is further ridiculed for it was a misinterpreted message, but well... Wise words are not often fit for unwise ears, isn't that right?
Thanks for a most enjoyable read! : )
Yes <3 <3 well as close as!! (I was going for 'Don't take things at face value, take time to understand' - but essentially the same message) Thank you so very much, very glad you saw through to what I had meant <3
Brilliantly done! He had died in the eyes of the villagers. Stick around or you might find you can be replaced very easily!
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A fable is a story where animals live/behave like human beings... so these are animals? If so I misunderstood the story
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A fable can have people, animals or things as protagonists (e.g. the fable of the crock pot and the iron pot), the important thing is that every fable has a moral in the end. My intention, however, was to create a small "confucian"(-ish) story that could be interpreted and finished in many ways
Fables don't have to have animals, although a lot do, the characters here aren't supposed to be animals, sorry its a bit confusing, I might have tried too much in this one :)
You did not try too hard... you found wisdom, and a lesson. That is a fable.
Of course we can sit and wait. We can brood and harbor ill thoughts. Meanwhile, the world moves on. Our loss.
Well done, @calluna.
Do not worry.. I like the story
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Who cares if it's nice..
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STOPI repeat my sentiment, expressed below (under @wakeupkitty): you wrote a true fable, with a sound lesson and you did it elegantly.
Thank you ❤️ I did think it was a bit risky in terms of leaving it so open, I have slightly edited the ending which hopefully carries it a bit more. Thank you ❤️
Hats off to a great writer--self-doubt comes with the territory
✨🌟
This post is sponsored and featured by @Appreciator in collaboration with @c-squared. Just keep up the good work.
Interesting ending @calluna, that is not easy task to complete someone else made story, but you did it nicely
It was interesting to see that the village people didn't come to him for advice or help even though they welcomed him back. It can be tough for people to switch on a dime back to the old ways of doing things.
An extra fuzzy squirrel 💜 for your compliments, Calluna!
The beauty of your story is that it had so many thinking to the lesson it meant to them. Perspective is funny like that, isn't it? I can see many things to take away from your ending and to me, it makes it a strong tale. To some, they think to not accept advice at face value (think about an underlying meaning as opposed to following something word for word), some may see a message that as time moves on one can change from how they've acted and rise to be there for others (Ren's enemy redeeming himself in the eyes of the villagers), some may take another interpretation of finding a release from obligations and stressors (even if it means accepting a 'defeat' by an enemy) and there are I'm sure more that my tired squirrel brain hasn't even thought about.
It's a truly terrific piece, Calluna!