My Entry - Finish the Story Contest - WEEK #35!
Well, here's another go at a bit of fiction writing with an entry for Week 35 of The Finish The Story Contest. The task is to provide the rest of a lively pirate tale that was started by @theironfelix. This was a lot of fun to write, trying to talk like a pirate without over doing it was a challenge as well. Arrg! and Yo Ho Ho, here we go.... I really hope you enjoy it.
Pirate Hunters
by @theironfelix
Boots calmly walked towards an open window-hatch, a bottle of rum is lowered down onto the sill. Upon the placement, the pirate places his scarred-induced hands on his wailing back and pushes.
“Argh! Me back be free of this wretched ache! Well, guess I learned a lesson: take a break when the Cap’n says so. Welp, time to rest...”
Taking his cue, the sill creaked in annoyance as the pirate’s body self-inquired the best resting position while perched on a sill. With a hairy arm supporting his night-colored beard, he spent his leisure-time mentally capturing the seas itself. There the familiar specs of white dots danced about the blue sky; he gasped before slowly releasing the captured air, he remembered how deep in the seven seas the ship was. With the mind returning to boredom, his eyes scanned under the blue sky.
“Ah poor ship, how these blue, blue, waves harass yah. I can hear yer wails, but I judge not. And even when the harassment be over, the aches only then take over; yet only can I respond with ‘such is life’... Huh, what be a ship in these waters be doing here? Where’s me spotting scope!”
The boots thus began a chaotic dance recital; the arms took the center stage as it flailed around to uncover the hidden telescope. As the telescope may have enjoyed the scene, it soon squeaked loud upon the firm clasp on its metallic skin. The pirate returned to the window-hatch and his arms stretched the telescope wide-wards. Eyeing in on the odd element, his eyes darted around to find any friendly symbol but soon froze.
“Oh me Flyin’ Dutchman! We’ve been tracked! Hey ho! Sound the alarm, pirate hunters come and in full-mast they set sail towards us!”
Whatever wail the ship can ever muster, the cacophonies of a hundred bodies darting around alone had easily drowned out such sorrows. The pirate unsheathed his sword, the sun’s naïve light touched and bounced off the sword. Sheathing his sword, he unholstered his flintlocks and his arms helped his eyes scan such. Cocking and holstering them, his body emerged from his room and joined in the traffic of the workplace as pirate bodies shuffled and kicked around to ready on their position. Albeit the humidity would’ve granted a hasty rest through stroke, the adrenalin surging about the bodies had protected them from unwanted advances of humidity.
Finally getting to the deck, he about-faced and attempted advancing towards the Captain’s spot. However, the Captain echoed:
“Brace!”
And the pirate mass dropped dead and clung hard to any support they could find; as soon the ship screeched thanks the holes formed from the steel cannon-shots who mercilessly ripped through her. With that, the pirate mass resumed its circuitry and soon he met with the Captain; he screamed:
“Madame! I’m here, let me take over the steering and yah the commandin’!”
“Finally yer here, Wither! Please, they be gainin’ too much ground. So steer us towards oure enemy! And when we get close, steer us parallel to their starboard side and avoid portside! Today, I must accept my bounty and let them hath none of it!”
“Cap’n oh Cap’n! Are yah mad?”
“Mad? No! Blimey, avoid their hull Wither!”
My Entry
“But Cap’n she’ll tear us t’shreads. Thar be as many guns on the starboard as thar be on da port”
“Aye, Wither, but we cans’t out run her, she be flying twice da silk we are,” She replied with a bit of frustration.
“Brace!”
They both grabbed a firm hold and waited as the cannon ball splashed into the ocean just off their port bow.
“That be one issue, madame, when I swing her bout, we be sail’n in’ta da wind. We’ll have’ta tack in front of that chase gun at least twiced.”
“H’it be a chance we have’ta take. Give me one minute and swing’er round.” With that she spun on her heels and trotted down the steps, barking orders as she went, and left Wither muttering under his breath about sail’n with women.
How many times had she heard that a woman had no business on the sea, but it never bothered her. She could best most of her men with a sword, and out think all of them. This plan was desperate, but in the open sea there was no way they could out run the Dutchman, and if they decided to board they would be out numbered three to one.
“Brace!”
She dropped to the deck instinctively, just as a cannon ball ripped through the starboard rail and took two of her men to the locker.
When she dropped into the hold every head turned, they all looked nervous. “We got’ta work fast men, h’every gun on da port side needs be raised in da back.” They all just stared at her, “Dhat means put timbers under da back wheels and be quick about it.” The men finally started to scramble, as they could feel the ship turning about. We should have just enough time to get them ready.
She continued to bark orders as they work levering up the guns “Men, we be gett’n one shot at dis. We will be fire’n each gun as da bow of da Dutchman passes yah port hole. We want ta hit her in da stern at her water line.” With that she turned to the master gunner, “Mort, yah understand?”
“Aye, Capt’n”
“I musts be get’n back topside.”
“Brace!”
Everyone grabbed hold of what they could, as a cannon ball whistled overhead, Then she started up the stairs and back to Withers.
“Capt’n she be cut’n sails” Wither yelled pointing at the Ductchman.
She smiled, “That be what I’ma hope’n for. They got ta cut sail or they’ll be over run’n us. They no be turn’n that beast too fast. Wither we needs be about fifty feet off their bow when we pass, just far enough ta avoid board.”
Wither shook his head, “But capt’n their starboard guns…”
She cut him off, “Aye we will take damage, just be pray’n they don’t hit da mast or da powder. They’ll fire everything they have once’st we’re broad side.” She was certainly glad they had left off firing there chase gun. Just a few more seconds .
“Prepare ta take fire!” she yelled.
Three, two. The first cannon fired, the sound was deafening, but it was too early and splashed into the sea. She could see the captain of the Dutchman yelling orders as the next cannon fired, exploding a hole in the bow of the Dutchman. The remaining four guns fired ripping into the Dutchman, then the whole world exploded as the Dutchman unleashed her guns…..
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did...
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Ah, th' noise-work and pirate/redneck accents in this post be a godsend. Regardless, this ending did good in th' combat scene and made some good use o' pirate tactics. Also the fact that th' two ships were active in spite of what anybody was doin', thus a natural background scene that interrupted the foreground scene. Anyhow, th' Madame/Lass Cap'n was active and she command'd well in her spot, so can't complain t'ere.
Withal, the last sentences leaves a suspenseful cliffhanga', that's fo' sho'. So leavin' us to guiltily think o' what happen'd th' scene after. Ho! Upvot'd and resteem'd.
lol, I was have'n a bit of trouble keeping my accents straight. Pirate to me is almost Irish/old english with a bit of that thar redneck stuff intermingled.... Then if you get into the Spanish pirates it gets even worse.
Hopefully, I did your story proud.
Aye, yah fo' sho' did laddie. Interestin' to consida' th' slaves in th' Caribbean havin' t'eir own influence on Pirate as well. So a united/common Pirate accent shall technically be Scots-Irish accents with slave influences, then just French and Spanish pidgin thrown in.
Well done. I have to say that yours is better than mine. I am glad to see you enter this my friend.
I don't know about that. LOL, Me thinks I do be a mix'n the accents a bit. Do yah be know'n the lass R-810 who commented on me post?
I have a thought that you are rather close... I'll give her a follow and an upvote or two. My 1000SP delegation canceled today, so I'm having to get used to not having a 7 cent upvote...
That is an account I set up for my wife but she isn't really using it yet so I am supporting people I know with it for now. Bummer the vote go smaller. I am hoping to get my wife to start posting but for now it is a alt account for me
My curiosity..How did you get that delegation?
I bought the 1000SP through minnowbooster. It was an experiment, I wanted to see if I could curate enough content to pay for it.
So I botted most of the voting on my account. Basically just voting on a whitelist of accounts between 7-12 minutes after posting, where their average payout was between $3 and $15. I still had enough to do a couple manual 100% votes or a lot of 1 to 2 cent votes, that was really the hardest part keeping my finger off the vote button....
You can get a 1000sp for 16-18 steem. I should make about 21-22 steem on the curation from it. (won't know till monday after they all payout)
The problem is that it all comes back as SP so in the end you don't have the steem to continue the cycle. I'm thinking about trying it again with a power-down active that will pay out close to what the delegation costs. I would like to figure out a balance to make it sustainable. I'm not so much worried about making a profit, it feels good just blasting people with an upvote, even if it is just 7 cents.
Interesting experiment, I might do the same with this community account... thanks for the explanation.
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This post was submitted for curation by: @theironfelix
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Wow you did a really good job with the pirate dialog. Also liked the way you let them face that fire. Pirates battled hard.
I agree with the guys, tactic/strategy and dialogues are the strong points of this story. I'd also add that I appreciated the Captain's temper.
lol, Thanks, I had to make the tactic and mechanics work in my head. Those ships don't sail like they seem to in the movies.
The temperament was really without thought, but whether it is a man or a woman a good leader as to remain calm, take input from others, and decide then take action...
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howdy sir coinsandchains! lol..this is some darn good writing sir, it would take me forever forming the right words in their slang and then trying to figure out how to spell them!
Howdy sir janton. Thank you. You would have no problem with it. It's just redneck with a Scotch-Irish accent.... That was what my problem was trying not to speak redneck. I didn't want to over do it and make it too hard to read.
haha! trying not to speak redneck, that's funny! Well I thought it was quite the brilliant job so well done!
Loved that they will be flying more "silk" so very clever. In the paragraph, "She continued to bark orders..." The Dutchman rather than the Duchman. I could not even attempt this. Aye!
Aye, h'it twas interest'n. Thanks be to you, I got'er fixed up right proper.
lol, spell check is pretty much useless when trying to write like this. It's lucky that I also speak fluent redneck, so I'm used to people talking like this.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read it...
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I thought you did a good job with the dialogue, although, for me, it was a little difficult to get through. No fault though. Your story was an interesting read.
I think I was having a bit of trouble flipping the accent. We have a very thick accent around here that is very similar to pirate speak. A southern accent, but it's really speaking redneck.... a drawled out Scotch-Irish with the ends of the words cut off....
That reminds me of the time I spent in Germany traveling around. The South said this dialect is correct. The North said the same thing. 🤣
Very realistic dialogues and tactics, or at least that was my sensation reading your ending!
Thanks, From the story I was wondering why it had to be on the starboard side.... Then turning around you lose the wind so.... My engineering brain was having trouble with the story so I had to fix those pieces.
Good luck in the contest !
Thanks, did you enter?
I didn't .....
I liked your phrasing, "...she be flying twice da silk we are...” as opposed to the usual descriptions of billowing full sails.
Excellent work in writing the captain's thoughts throughout all of the action!
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