Yeah...
If I'm being honest, most of my creative process is to generate as much as I can while keeping an eye out for language. I only go back and edit occasionally. This was one of the sections I went back and edited because I was uncomfortable with how it came out, but I only worsened it.
I was thinking about expanding on this for a short story though, so keep your eyes peeled. There may be something crafted just a bit better.
(And I guess there could be older scripture, but what I had in mind while composing was not older scripture, so... Ya got me.)
Hey, I really appreciate the feedback though. I need every constructive comment I can get and this is by far one of the more helpful comments. Thank you!
First time I received a comment that proves that the person whose work I commented understood my comment and knew the content. I appreciate your prompt response. I look forward to reading more of your creative writing cause I am sure that there will be stuffs I would learn there to help better my writing as well.
Big ups.
Thank you for your resteem and your comments. I will look for your work and add what constructive criticism I can.
Thanks again!
Thank you for thanking me. I would look out for more contents. Bless you.