There is a popular saying that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I beg to differ. This might be true if you are a cat or if you going through a rigorous exercise regime. In reality, if you really come face to face with death by having your well being severely compromised, you are more likely to become indifferent about most things around you.
I had some pretty tough challenges from physical trauma. Having faced death a couple of times, I can tell you that what didn't kill me made desensitized to things that once mattered. Money didn't seem to have the same value as before. Instead, I am ok if I have enough to survive and pay for medical bills.
Things that brought me together in groups of people together such as sports, music and philosophical meetings dropped completely off my radar. Even casual socializing became boring to the point of avoidance. This was not depression as many people believe. I just lost complete interest. Most things around me started looking pedantic and more or less pointless.
Instead, my attention shifted towards long walks in the park and tending to my garden. Fixing anything that fell into my hands also gave me great joy. What didn't kill me, framed reality differently. Daily Issues became less serious, less complicated. Facing the possibility being obliterated from existence does sort out one's priorities in life. We take so many things around us for granted. In fact, it is rather ridiculous how much people obsess over pointless matters. Life is an extremely fragile concept.
source: miriadna.com
Most people gain this form of wisdom only when they get older. Watching our bodies falling apart little by little, we start building up antifragility towards the concept of death. This is part of the reason the older we get, the less we care about most things.
Younger people feel untouchable because their bodies are much more robust. This is also the reason the younger we are the more active and enthusiastic we tend to be. Trauma scrapes away things that might once appealed to us. Our own body shuts off the reward system.
I am not even sure if this feeling is positive or negative. Definitely, not for everyone. I don't feel sad or happy, just a breeze of continual content. Indifference can really suck up the life from most things including feelings of joy or pain from loss. The feeling is similar to buying a new exciting video game with the cheat codes being downloaded in your mind.
Part of being alive is being able to change emotional states dramatically. Expressing feelings of sadness, joy, excitement spices up thing in life. Variation is key, heck some argue that it is the very definition of life. Indifference on the other hand, feels like eating your favorite food every day for 5 years straight. You just eat to stay alive. There is no pleasure to it.
I am writing this because some people that didn't go through some life threatening experiences might have the audacity to advice others to be stronger. Experience though beats sophistry any time of the day. It is better to be considerate and just ask for more extra information rather than trying to project popular quotes onto others. After all, indifference might even be considered to be a form of toughness.
A guy I once met said "What doesn't kill you makes you stranger"
I can't resist posting this:)
I hate that guy. Wish I was able to kill him bit he is too much fun
Batman: [in the interrogation room] Then why do you want to kill me?
The Joker: [giggling] I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.
BEST...MOVIE...EVER!
Yes, my biography made a good movie. I still have to deal on a daily base with the effects of that specific interrogation. I almost broke my hand there. Very good re-enactment
Thou salt not take the lord's name in vain...
also very true
To me this doesn't happen, Thank God ! ! But family problems exist. On my last job there was a "burnout". I'm so tired, that I'm was like coil spring, that long, long twisted). And she time, and broke. Became indifferent to everything. I don't react to any thing, like a dummy. Gradually it became easier.
yeap, burnouts are very real
I'm about a year then was pulled myself on the light. It was hard. Tried to walk more (like You), play with the dog, squeeze my cats=)
that works wonders really
I agree with You)
While I haven't been through a near-death experience, the last 10 years have definitely rearranged my priorities. While I can't speak for my wife, I'm fairly certain she feels the same.
By all standards we should have been upper-middle class, I had 25+ years experience in a skilled career and my wife had graduated with honors from one of the top law schools in the country. And yet, on Christmas Eve of 2012 I turned the keys of our modest house over to the bank and we spent the next 16 months without a mailing address. I hesitate to use the term homeless because we never actually had to sleep in the car but we moved 9 times during that period, including a 2 month stay in a hotel room and several long weekends in a friend's RV.
I don't feel indifferent to what the vast majority of Muricans find "important", I feel more like the kid in the Emperor's New Clothes trying to point out that none of them are wearing any clothes.
Thank you for sharing this. It does indeed put things in perspective. Life can surely throw us curveballs that end up affecting us differently.
That happens a lot and it's very true. You have felt it with because of a huge thing, but in happens with the small things as well. That's why people tend to get more "cynical" with age. But in the end, I think that indifference actually leads to more objectiveness.
It does. I relate to everything you just said.
I'm glad to hear that.
Totally agree @kyriacos. I've been through life threatening situations and bad things have happened to me. I don't think it made me stronger, it probably just made me indifferent to those situations. If they happen again, I don't think Id feel anything, definitely not stronger.
Some called me weak, but I don't think I'm weak since I've lived through it all and I'm still here, giving out love and positivity even though I may have none left.
Cheers :) great post!!
Yeap, weak and strong are really peculiar words
I do agree that the things which have a high strain on us emotionally and mentality make us more resilient towards other things that have a similarity.
It also can be dedined as making you stronger but in reality it has a dumbing effect on us.
Some find it good others fins it bad.
Cheers and best of wishes from me.
Goldie
When I was nineteen, I died...and remained dead for about two and a half minutes.
I have experienced life-threatening situations, spent time hiding in bomb shelters while air raid sirens blared outside and I have seen people die and get killed. And all I can say is that life doesn't weaken you, and neither does it strengthen you. It just provides the stressors and the challenges - it's totally up to you on how you react to those things.
Every saying I have ever heard is domain-specific, as in it requires detailed background and context to be understood and interpreted correctly. Life is too nuanced for it to be any different:)
I like this and I think it's true (the stoics would agree):
"indifference might even be considered to be a form of toughness"
Thank you for sharing this. I also adhere to much of the Stoic philosophy.
wow thanks for sharing your story!
You are welcome:) Reading what I wrote, it seems more dramatic written down than I remember it in my head:)
Indifference is a form a strength and toughness, and we perceive it as such. That scene in the Dirty Harry movie where Clint keeps on chewing on his hot dog while popping off 44 magnum rounds at a criminal immediately comes to mind.
Haha, Dirty Harry is the personification of toughness!
I concur. Whoever came up with that stupid platitude obviously has never been abducted, held at gunpoint and a number of other things. You realize that the society you thought was, at least, a little bit orderly isn't at all orderly and that everything is far worse than it appears, far worse than most people know, and that leaves you with very little in common with everyone else. At least, that's how it went for me. Good article. It's nice to know that other people realize what a stupid thing that is to say.
I think most people have turned most concepts into a meme and when reality does kick their door down only then they realize the bullshit they have been saying.
I'm sorry to hear you had near death experiences... that would be so scary. I agree, sometimes telling people what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is not the best advice.
I was recently talking to a friend who use to be in the army... and he has the exact same symptoms as you. It's hard for him to feel motivated because he is so desensitized. Things that would normally freak him out no longer do that...
Everyone's healing and coping process is different. I think the best thing you can do for someone is to just be there for them.
It wasn't scary really. More like a mind numbing experience. it feels curious. weird.
ahh I can only imagine. Thanks for sharing your story.
It depends on someone's personality actually. When you are in severe pain be it emotionally or physically you are just ecstatic those days that you are not in pain. That's all it matters. For others it turns into resentment and jealousy because they see people enjoying their lives while they can't. Many people in pain become tougher and misanthropic, you can see this in many movies actually, Al Pacino in scent of a woman who was incredibly mean and bitter because he was blind. Remember also Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. Leautenant Dan was extremely cruel with others because he lost his legs in the war. He kept that anger for years until he made peace with himself after meeting Forest Gamp.
yeap.
This is a good post. Makes sense. I find the older I get the more pissed off I get about how screwed up and uncontrollable things really are. It's a shame to me that such a small percentage of the population get to control the masses. Anyway, that's a whole other post but I just wanted to say how my feelings boil up over the subject. I can relate to your post in the way of how mundane things or situations don't effect me like they did when I was younger. I don't really care for how people perceive me or what I do. I'm no where near the social butterfly I once was and really enjoy my own company at this point along with the hobbies I've chosen to learn over the years. My family is most important and by that I mean the wife and kids not the in-laws or the estranged cousins or uncle Mike that I rarely see. The sun on my face, the wind in my hair and my child's hand in mine is something to be treasured. All else is rather pointless. Enjoyed as always.
Well said. thank you for sharing this.
Finally! Someone that thinks like I do. I can totally relate to your blog and your thoughts. I, myself feel the same way 😊 People are always thinking I'm mad, upset or depressed because I want to be alone or because I'm quiet. After the things I've been through...sometimes I just have nothing to say.
Great post!
I think many people related to this. I am glad you reached out.
You're welcome. Hope you have a great week-end
You're welcome. Have a great weekend.
Life is grand how ever you look at it. Sure it has its bad days and good days, but overall its amazing. If you are alive that is pure bliss to me, I love life and everything that I do or see or experience I try not to take for granted. Ive had a few near death experiences myself, and major bouts of depression, have also even lost my father recently. So now I look at life differently, how precious it is and how amazing it can be.
:)
One of the best posts I've read in a while @kyriacos. Agree with you. We are too quick to throw around catch phrases. Upvoted and resteemed. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it @nolnocluap
Im not sure. My tribulations definitely made me stronger in a sense. I learned that i can endure a lot more then i ever thought possible. Its like..oh my parent is mortally ill...and? Life is like..so? And? And im like well if i managed to get through this, then there is no point of getging aggitated or scared or stressed for the small insignificant things that i used to. When you reach to about level 30 in the game called life, it has usually thrown so much shit at you, so you are abld to unfuck yourself when life fucks you. But i enjoyd the post.
It can yes. But I found out that sometimes is the combination of things that chisels away your "passion" . Like I mention at the end, indifference might even be perceived as toughness.
Not my meaning to be "difficult" :D But I have become a lot less indifferent as I have grown older. After getting a wife, a kid, and something useful to do with my life, everything means a lot more to me than when I was younger - despite the world constantly fucking me. However, when I was younger AND indifferent, the world couldn't fuck me - cause I was exactly that - indifferent. I had nothing going for me, I had nothing other than playing computer games and lift weights (yeah, those were my passions in my early 20s) that I cared for. So nothing could touch me. Now that I'm exposed to more..I have more money and investments - something could go wrong in the markets, I have a family - something could happen to them (or me) etc etc , so I have a lot more to lose. But despite having a lot more to lose now, I'm a lot tougher mentally. I RISK MORE, and live more, yet I tackle more things with ease.
But..I agree to an extent. I was bullied in school and I didn't have a great family life growing up. Those things definitely didn't make me stronger. It made me weaker than those who didn't experience that. But once I decided that what happened in the past should not define who I could become, I grew past most of my peers (in my opinion :) ) I'm not sure if that passion would have been lit if everything was just a stroll in the park for me. Maybe it would be an easier and more carefree life, I don't know. But I don't think an easy and carefree life is a good life. I have also suffered from panic attacks and a lot of anxiety - and by changing my mindset and looking at it as a blessing, a chance to really build my self up from scratch - just being able to reset my self , putting it all behind was really a blessing. I don't think I'd ever make it to this point, living this life if it wasn't for my panic attacks and anxiety. Sorry bout the rant! :D
Indeed, exposure can really make us feel vulnerable but also heal us. I like how you first paragraph completes and answers to the first.
All my experciences and tragities has made me into the bull I am today. Bottom line
good for you gangster. take my follow ,upvote, catch'ya on a flipside
:)
\m/
what doesn't kill me - i don't do that stuff =)
What u have said is a valid point but it's friends or any other close to us will try to make us feel happy that's the only reason they throw quotes on others being suffered in order make them happy.... The point of life is be grateful for whatever we have
indeed
I think that the same actually goes for managing money or investing/gambling. Once you learn to lose, get used to watching shit go wrong, you just stop "caring". Ofc, you still care, it's just that shit happening (financially) no longer messes with your emotions.
I've recently had a lot of losses and bad news, and the only thing I can say I'm feeling is apathy. Guess it's a defense mechanism.
in a way it is yes.
After reading this, I would suggest u to read jiddu krishnamurti, or even search him on YouTube
I've read him 10 years ago.
This is deep yet so simple, but not to those who take every minute of life for granted, which is unfortunately most people. I, too, have been through life-threatening situations and I can relate to this post on a personal level. Except, I was pretty insightful when I was younger. I seemed to stand in a different corner than my friends, so to speak. I was labeled "weird" and "air-headed" but it was just that I saw the world differently, and still do. Like, for example, have you ever just paused and took a moment to consciously be aware of your breathing? I wonder how many people have never done that. Or, actually open the ears and try to hear everything that you can in the moment that you are in? Like, birds chirping, bugs buzzing, cars going by, people laughing, the wind blowing, just everything in that moment. How many have never done that? It is a cool experience and makes you go, "Wow. The things we don't even normally notice."
@kyriacos, this is a very high-energy attracting post. Have you read "Power vs. Force"? I think everyone should read that book. And I think more posts such as this one should be put up. It inspires me to do so as well.
The world is making a paradigm shift into a very dark direction, and it began with individual mindsets going in dark directions.
Great post!
Yeap, it helps especially if you are in nature.
nop but i will make sure to check it out.
thank you
May i resteem and post have you for me. Please help me.
Follow Me @tantawi
Upvote
I think the older we get, the more we respect the small things in life.
indeed. I have found this to be true as well.
Highly informative
thank you
Maybe that is your version of stronger...
So true; I actually felt immortal when I was younger, not metaphorically, I mean actually immortal. I couldn't understand why people aged, I thought that I must be different, that I would never age.
I looked at old people walking down the street, and I just wondered why they didn't walk normally.
Now, I still feel great (:-) ) However now, I'm hoping on technology to transport me into immortality, I still wanna live forever!
Cg
PS: Don't want you to think I'm being rude, but I'll be back to vote on this one, I am trying an experiment this week, with later voting. :-)
I think that transhumanism has really become the next step of religion. Both concepts practically aim for the same thing :)
oh i don't mind. heck I wouldn't even noticed if you haven't told me.
Yes, I suppose it is kind of like a next step. Although I don't worship the technology in anyway, and don't put any kind of anthropomorphic personality on it.
I just think it would be cool to see what the future holds in the next few centuries and beyond :-)
Cg
I am not even sure if I want to be immortal.
Q from Star Trek put me into some deep thoughts on the matter
I know, I'm not sure myself; I like what people in Ian M. Bank's Culture do to escape the boredom of immortality. They get the Minds to put them in suspended animation, and then tell them to wake them when; "something interesting happens" :-)
Cg
I guess that works too! :D
Even some quantum physics theories propose that actually we never die. So we may not even need technology, in a practical sense, to be immortal.
Yeah, whilst our atoms never do, the consciousness definitely does die; so we're gonna need tech :-)
Cg
wisdom comes with age!
We lose our physical abilities but we are still alive
Nicely summarized
Thanks for sharing this intellectualy written Article
glad you enjoyed it
Maybe it only made you realized that there are far more important things that you needed to do than just continue doing what you've been doing for a while.
maybe, but I didn't change my ways. I just shifted the gravity of my attention to some things while removing it from other.
Because there's a fraction in your mind that tells you to do it. You may not realize it, but in times that our hearts is at low pace, our minds works at its best.
yeap
thats one side of a medal, what about another? :) think about it too and you will see life is genius for everyone you just have to think right thats all :)
:)
Good addition to your previous post.
And: Been there (twice), and what you say sounds about right.
it feels weirdly satisfying having other relating to your experiences.
You will forgive me for being terse about it; I'm not that social on social media.
not many are
At this point, after all the shit I've been through - having nearly died a gazillion times - living itself is "like eating your favorite food every day for 5 years straight....just eat to stay alive...[with] no pleasure to it."
The body outlives the spirit, not vice versa :'D
lol
That's a good article. I think that it can be reversed also.
What doesn't kill you makes you indifferent
Being indifferent 'kills' others
I can see how this can apply
i really connect with you
Thank you for sharing your story
I like the title thats' so true your post is very deep thanks a lot for sharing it and keep on posting ;)
glad you enjoyed it
You have a great point. I agree..
indeed
It is very true a lot of us take life for granted, when we do appreciate life it's to late. Most people our caught up in material things or where they are going to spend their weekends. We forget about the important things family, friends, and the memories we create. These are the things we should be looking forward to in life; not only when facing death but all the time. Some people don't have their eyes open till they face a serious life threatening situation. My advice is live life to the fullest like everydays your last. Dope Post 🙏🙏
yeap, nonetheless, reality wakes all up sooner or later
That's so true man, like I broke my left arm the bone called the humor and like on a scientific level of explanation it did make the bone stronger after healing up naturally(yeah didn't go through the surgery and all) but mainly it made things indifferent around me. For instance I fell of a ledge and broke it so now I'm not so afraid of ledges anymore because I know it can only get as bad as an arm(not entirely but just go with it).
Stronger in a way but more indifferent for sure. Just putting it out there! Cheers!
#follow4follow
Thank you for sharing this
Really true....some people just feel that they can advice peole about life experiences while they themselves have no hint about what life has got to offer.
yeap
Quite unsettling piece. Indeed, most people would say you're depressed. Losing interest in things you used to enjoy is considered a sign of depression. Good thing nobody convinced you to go on some happy pills.
However, I'm a little troubled but a contradiction in the way you describe your life (at least, that's what it seems to me)
Here you say:
"I don't feel sad or happy, just a breeze of continual content."
But later on:
"Indifference on the other hand, feels like eating your favorite food every day for 5 years straight. You just eat to stay alive. There is no pleasure to it."
This last statement doesn't ring like content, there's a feeling of resentment somehow.
I would describe content as "neutral". maybe it was a bad choice of word.
Your title made me chuckle...Isn't that the truth...
"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You More Indifferent".
Thanks for another excellent post!
glad you enjoyed it
Yeah, I feel you here. I definitely have experienced this
Hello Friend Nice Post by You
Please see my post also under the title
"Please Check the POST"
Thank you very much
I have experienced death - thought I was going to be stuck there... but came back. In clock-time was only a few minutes - in experiential-time seemed like an age. A deep sense of the void, of peace, of home, and deep indifference and compassion for the noise of this world.
it is kinda different for everyone I guess
Fasten your seat-belts sun opposite moon the 9th of July full moon there will be a lot of tensions released!! https://www.consciousreminder.com/2017/07/02/full-moon-9-july-2017-control/
Sometimes, I think that what doesn't kill us make us nothing...Some people still do not change even they hurt!
true. this can apply as well
Its a world of duality.. you have to hit bottom hard so you branches can grow up in the sky.
not always. sometimes you just hit the bottom and stay there.
😜😜
lol
This post makes sense. I'm older now and the things I really wanted in my 20's and 30's don't mean much anymore. I do get peace in my little food garden.
yeap. I think most of us feel the same way.