We all cope with different situations and challenges in life in different ways. Working out till your veins pop off, immersing into gaming, collecting weird items, turning into a plantito or plantita, retail therapy, watching movies, or adopting like 10 cats are some of the ones I can think of that are less harmful than the ones I really know of which are...
Isolating, sleeping too much, binge eating, excessive alcohol use, or self-inflicted pain.
These types are more destructive and will charge you over and over in the future. Compounded over time, it will be detrimental to your overall health.
Fortunately, I've learned to stop using all of the negative coping strategies I mentioned above. However, flirting and having sex with either men or women, depending on who I feel like sleeping with that day, has been a part of my life ever since I was in college. I've yet to erase this part of me.
Finding a one-night stand is easy nowadays. It makes me wonder how people find ONS in the past.
You go into a club or bar and pick someone from there. You don't know anything about this person. Once you do learn a bit more about them. The alcohol's probably busy inside your system making you think of poor choices.
Today's technology allows me to meet a lot of people like me. Looking for a quick fix without any strings attached. Hookups have never been easier and a bit safer I presume. We can easily find people of our preference, and evaluate them before meeting them. We can later decide if this person is someone you'd feel comfortable meeting or if their interests align with your own.
This coping mechanism of mine went away after meeting my most recent partner. I loved this person and dedicated my entire being to her. However, the person I was in love with began to favor someone else. At the time, I believed it to be OK, so I decided to experiment with my sexuality as well. Later on, I realized what I did was unintentional. I was already coping in the guise of "exploring".
My recent events don't help either. I didn't anticipate doing what I did the past week. I've slept with three ladies in the past nine days. Additionally, I came close to going out with the man I met in December of last year.
Does this help me? In a way, it keeps me distracted. I'm kept busy by it. Despite my best efforts to accomplish things that were "good" for me throughout the previous weeks, I find that I wind up exhausting myself. I started looking for solace in the warmth of other people.
I started looking for that high feeling when drunk, my face numb, my body would feel a lot warmer, and I'd reach out to the person closest next to me. I would temporarily forget everything else. My focus is on the woman in my arms. To thank her for her presence, I'd do my best to satisfy them. When the deed is done, you cradle this woman into your arms but then you remember the past and the person you lost.
You sob uncontrollably on the chest lent to you.
Fortunately, I am good friends with the 3 women I met. I confide in them my problems and feelings. We drank, had sex and then I cried in their arms. While patting my head or back, they tell me it's okay to cry. But I didn't want to burden them too. After crying, I pretend that I'm okay. Then I do the same thing the next day uminom, umiyot, at umiyak. ( Drink, Fuck, and Cry)
Everything just goes back in a full circle. Now, my mind just keeps on wandering. All of the feelings I have are jumbled up. I don't know which one to focus on first but I am aware that I have been evading some issues going on with my life.
I no longer wish to hold on to my coping mechanism today. This is the period where I face my problems. I accept where I am at. I accept whatever pain I experience. In the next blank days. I'll cry when I have to. I will no longer suppress my tears.
There have been so many people who came to show their care toward me. So I'd like to thank them for being there for me.
I'd like to thank Camille, Rose, and Isa for providing me with their warmth and their bosoms to cry on.
I'd also like to thank Jiji and Jude for being people who I can easily have fun with and just talk about all of this without being judged.
To my friend, Hanna. The person who saved me. Mentioned on my other blog The Few Friends That I Have.. I wouldn't be here without her.
And for those who've been reading my emotional posts the past few weeks, thank you. I appreciate your encouragement.
I just wish I was aware of what's happening with me from the very start.
I also wish that I could have picked up a different coping mechanism. Maybe you guys can help me find something new?
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Sounds like your experimentation is screwing your sense of normality and replaced it with a band aid. Waiting for a time when you're ass is ripped apart by your incessant experimentation.
I don’t think my ass will be ripped since I’m not using that… but hey thanks for the reminder hahahahaha
No problems, got plenty of shenanigans to impart. Especially when it for the lost causes and the abused hoses.
Good for you ☺️
Yes, yes. Good for everyone.
this is something I can relate to, so I completely understand this kind of coping mechanism and I enjoy how you share it with me and Jiji too!, we are learning from it in a fun way hahaha
as someone who likes doing this, wag mo tigilan, kasi its fun! charot ! bad influ? HAHAHAH
I suggest you do boxing ~ chariz
HAHAHAHA grabe jude luv the support din pero dw I’ll stay safe 😚
Virtual hogs Carl!
Not in the situation that you are in and never had the chance to be in that part but I hope that everything will be better for you with your healing. I can only imagine the hardships that you are going through right now and as a father it breaks my heart to read some posts, that are like this.
To cope with problems before, I learned to shunned away emotions and be as cold and distant as I can be. It helped for a while as I felt that problems just come and go but later on the void for a connection with someone gets bigger and bigger. I turned to online gaming to escape the issues that I have and even sleeping for extended hours I was in bliss when I do but then again after a few sessions when time up and I woke up the problems were still there.
So without anyone to turn to I turn to God. For the first time in my life, I told Him that I am not the strong person that I am portraying, I am broken and a complete mess compared to what I perceive to other people. ( I never went to church btw as I have some reservations still about trusting people ). Just listened to multiple songs and finally saw a quiet church in our place, started the journey and here we are. Still broken but coping with things in life.
Not really sure if this helpful but always remember that you are valuable and you matter.
Thanks so much for imparting your wisdom @tpkidkai..
Hopefully, I can work this out soon ☺️
I have been in the same situation as you, Carl, but I am more on the less destructive side. Just reading your blog puts a heavy block to my heart.
I apologize for throwing less input because I have .99% to zero exp when it comes to gay rels. Baka mamali pa ako ng masabi, edi wenks. 😆 Glady, @jude.villarta is there, the boy abunda, and life of the party. Hahah usto mo yun, jeem?
Eto mga less destructib na alam ko hahaha
Hmm, workout with set goals. Gawa ng checklist. 🤣
Do a marathon. I did a half-marathon (I was broken that time wahaha)
Walk walk then practice macro photog, there are a lot of budget-friendly macro lenses that you can attach to your phone.
Go to Sagada, learn about new culture and food. immersion ba haha.
Gumawa ng hobby tapos pagkakita
MONEY HEALS HHAHA 🤣 then spoil thy self 😌
I do not know if these are helpful, but hopefully! 😁
!PIZZA
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@jijisaurart(2/5) tipped @nmore
Thanks, Jiji~ I’ll try focusing on working out more ☺️ muscle mommy era!!
...at the very least you learned something from your experiments, may they serve as references.
as for me, If that person made me feel unwanted, I cry and stop imposing myself to that person.
that's what I am doing now. kek.
ang hirap lang pag gusto nila ikaw makiramdam instead of them saying it directly.
Tama pag ayaw saten edi wag HAHAHAHAHA
I hope your situation will improve and you'd heal from all these. I tried different coping mechanism in the past but what seems to be working was just, wandering on my own. But it's nice to know that you're facing the problem as personally I believe that is more steps to heal.
Thanks for you encouragement @macchiata 😊