Blending in, being invisible, waiting to be called, not showing body too much(slang for being a showoff or someone who just thrives on the spotlight.) All those things are virtues I hold dearly to myself. I’ve had more than my fair share of negative spotlight and I’ve realised the countless times the power the invisible people have over those who are simply always out there. I'm living by it now.
School started and I said to myself, I’ll blend in. I won’t even volunteer to answer questions. I’ll sit at the back, say hello to a few people so that I won’t come off as a snob, and go my way. Then, there was a need to elect course representatives. Don’t look at me, I didn’t even blink and promptly declined when the one friend I’d instantly made the very first day I started school, nudged me and said I would fit well in that position.
But then the whole class was being rowdy about it and my friend said again, “Why are they so noisy? Can’t someone lead the class? Tessa, go.” I looked her dead in the eye but smiled sweetly and told her to stop volunteering me for things she didn’t want to do. But the noise was getting at me, the ruckus was starting an itch. And before I could let that voice that was singing in my heart, don’t you dare, Tess, take control of me. I stood up and said, “Can I have some quiet, please.”
Let me say one thing before I continue. I do not have a commanding voice. I mean, I’ve been in leadership roles and given a few speeches in front of crowds, by God’s grace, but my voice in my opinion doesn’t have that, what should I call it, maybe zing? that a lot of people seem to have. And so when the eyes of fifty college students swivelled to me and stopped chattering instantly, I was so shocked that I let a silly grin sweep my face.
However, I didn’t want them to think I'm loony so I ceased my grinning after about two and a half seconds and cleared my throat. I started talking to them about how we would elect a deputy course rep. The course rep had already been chosen a couple of days ago. Surprise surprise, it was a guy, who chose himself by the way. And when I asked the girl who seemed like she could lead why she wasn’t leading, she said, “How can I be the course rep when guys are there?” I didn’t say anything then and I won’t say anything now since it’s not the topic at hand. It is well.
Back to the story.
Most of the girls had their choice representative already but I sensed that some of them were not in agreement so when it was about to be imposed that the popular girl got the position, I insisted that the floor be thrown open to anyone else who wanted to vie for the position. A girl who had shown leadership qualities in the first week of school indicated. And when we had the candidates ready, I talked about the need to elect people not based on sentiments but because they knew and trusted in their capabilities.
I failed however to talk about the need to be fair in the election. I mean, we’re all suffering in my country right now because we had an electoral body that had no respect for the people and rigged the entire election. And most of us in that class were Law students. So, I should have emphasized the need to be as honest as possible. I mean I was the Electoral Officer in that moment but rigging could happen from the grassroots.
Hence when the election was held, which was simply writing the letter of the person they wanted between the two candidates and submitting them to me for counting, I knew something was wrong. And even when one of the friends of the popular girl beckoned on me and presented more folded papers of supposed “students” that hadn’t been submitted, I rejected them but it didn’t occur then that maybe more papers had already been added.
It was counted by me and a witness, who was my friend and the popular girl won by 5. I felt sad, and not just because the person I felt was fit for the role hadn’t gotten the position, but because I could have handled it better, notwithstanding it being my first time conducting an election. Especially since after I encouraged everyone to support their new leader whether or not they voted for her, I heard the actual Course rep mutter that he was used to it. Voting for someone and having another be elected instead. The newly elected deputy was asked by me to give the class a vote of thanks and she said a shabby one-liner like, “Glad you all voted...” and giggled as she flounced to her seat.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself. I mean, even the girl who didn’t win came to me and said that she liked the way I led the class and appreciated my efforts to be fair. It soothed me a bit but somehow I felt even more terrible. I won’t attribute it to the fact that we don’t always get what we want, but that I’ve learnt a valuable lesson and that next time, if I’m ever asked to do something like that, I’ll know what to do.
Jhymi🖤
P.S: I'd like to think that I'm back to being invisible. But somehow, I feel more eyes on me than before. Smh.
Image is mine.
You retold this story so well that I imagined the entire plot along with the expressions in my head.
It was very brave and bold of you to take that initiative to speak up and try to bring order to the class and the election process. The beauty of experience is that growth always comes from it and a lot of times we have another chance to do even better than our last attempt.
It seems to me you did well under those circumstances and it’s cool that your efforts were recognized. I get that you want to be the invisible one and why (based on what you explained in this post) but it seems that leader in you won’t let you stay invisible for too long. You can humbly handle yourself as you lead and do it with grace and kindness but denying that leader in you may not work out much longer. 😉
I guess maybe I'm born to lead. But I've made a lot of terrible mistakes and been in a lot of negative spotlights, it's like a defence mechanism to ensure I remain hidden instead of messing things up.
But I'm learning each day and trying to be a better version of myself at each turn so I guess we'll just have to keep watching. Thank you, dearest Crosheille. You're far too kind with your words.🤗
It’s good you’re on watch and want to make sure you don’t make those same mistakes you’ve experienced, but that’s the beauty of learning and growth. Instead of letting our past hold us back from something that is meant for us, we can use the memory of those past mistakes as a motivator to be better and excel in the next round.
It’s a pleasure talking with you ~ 😘
Awnnnnnnnnn, I am feeling so emotional right now Tess, I saw how different you wanted everything to be under your control, well that is life for you my dear, shit happens and we just have to take it that way and honestly you literally did well leading those people to make their choice and respect whatever comes out of it but it kinda happened that way, sometimes we don’t always get what we wish for, I am happy the other candidate appreciated you for how well you conducted the election, I would say it was awesome, well your first few paragraphs are so so attractive, the normal me would trip for this writer in reality, well done Jhymi, I see quality runs in the family and don’t mind that your yeye friend, always rooting for others when they don’t want to do stuffs 😂😂😂😂…
#dreemer #dreemerforlife
Hah!!! I should nominate you as comment of the week. Thank you @quduus1. Your words are inspiring and so heartwarming, it genuinely makes me feel happy that you think this highly of my work. I'm immensely glad to have you here, dear. Hope you're having a good day.🤗
Ahahah I am blushing Jhymi boy ahahah, well you have really made a good post since I started engaging with you, I love your work, I see content in your post and that of olu, well done and keep the bars high my dear🫶🏼❤️
You probably did the best you could do, under the circumstances :<)
I guess so...
Thank you, Vincent.🤗
That right there is the sign of a terrible leader in the deputy-elect—to give such a leaderless statement. "Glad y'all voted" is a stoopid statement that says it all.
On the bright side, there are those that were born lions and made to lead. The likes of Tessa and the other lady her senses leaned towards. It's not by commanding tones, but by the courage and decisions made in crucial moments like these, and knowing that defeat really isn't the end.
Lol.She's glad we voted na.
I'm glad you see that leader part that I try so much to hide, Minion. Maybe I'll be more courageous about this spotlight thing someday. Thank you.💜
It was your first time, so mistakes are bound to happen.
Who knows maybe the girl you think wouldn't be able to lead might rise to the task, you'd never know!
True. It's better to trust in her ability to lead, despite her friends' dishonesty.🪷
Jega of our generation, INEC chairman, I love the way you coordinate the election fair and nice.
#dreemerforlife
Lol. No be small Jega.
Thank you Eunice darling. We're building a better generation that promotes honesty and fairness.💜
It's clear that you care about fairness and integrity, which are essential qualities, especially in situations like conducting an election. The challenges you faced were part of a learning experience, and it's great that you're reflecting on how you can handle similar situations better in the future. Learning from our experiences and using them to grow and improve is a mark of maturity and strength.
Put that way, I guess I don't have much to feel bad about, since I have the full knowledge that I've learnt good Lessons and I'm growing with it. Thank you so much @niyi-adunola.
Ahhhh
Is that a course rep I see?
I'm not any course rep ooo. With which strength?
You can be all those lazy ones....
Just barking orders and eating course dues
The thing about being brought to the line light is… it's not you who takes yourself to be shown, the light flashes on you to either shame yourself or represent beautifully. You can't help it dear💕
I guess so. I mean I could afford to bring myself to the light but if it's just always there, then I can't help it, can I?
Thank you my dear.🌺😘
This is awesome. It got to a point I was laughing but am still wondering what made you feel bad about the result. Maybe you pointed the reason in your write and maybe I mist have missed it in between the lines but am still laughing. On Hive you can't be invisible. Lol.
Lol.I guess on a platform like Hive, invisibility is the very last thing you want.
Lol. Just Blend in.
Lol.
You did you best dear, the first time to everything is not always easy. I'm glad you said you've learnt a valuable lesson, that's the most important for me.
#dreemerforlife #dreemport
Yeah,the lessons we learn after each experience are the most valuable. Thanks Emreal.
My jhymie. You are welcome.. I missed you o . No worry I'll come for your trouble this week
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Thank you.💚
I wouldn’t worry too much about being invisible or not as a priority. I think maybe the priority is probably freedom and comfort and invisibility is merely a tool to achieve that. It’s not the only way to achieve it though. Another would be to make allies and slowly nudge the culture of your class and circle to be discourage whatever problems people might give you when you are outstanding.
It’s rare to find people who wield power responsibly, whether it’s government or a friends circle. I used to avoid power altogether but now I just try not to bite off more than I can chew. The ally part is really important to me.
Sometimes the people capable of leadership are not the ones speaking so loud, when it comes to school matters most times people choose not base on the person's ability but because the person in question is their Friend
#Dreamport