This issue I choose to talk about today is extremely controversial and has a negative stigma attached to it and it's thanks to all of the negativity everyone attaches to this form of illness that has made so many suffering from it choose to keep mute for fear of been shunned or stigmatized rather than speak out or seek help.
From a very young age, I remember trying to avoid social gatherings as much as I could, sometimes I did succeed in my attempts to stay away but there were other times when either of my parents or an elder would insist I had to take part but those experiences were more torture than fun because I NEVER wanted to be there.
I had realized early that while most kids my age loved making new friends and meeting new people without a care in the world as it should be I on the other hand whenever I met a stranger or was in a social situation where I was forced to interact with unfamiliar people it made me very nervous.
My heart would start beating so fast that sometimes it made it difficult for me to speak coherently and at other times my hands would even be sweaty.
so back then if we had crossed parts on some occasion I would most likely have been the kid in the back wishing she had superpowers so she could make herself invincible so people would stop looking at her.
𝗗𝗜𝗗 𝗜 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗠𝗘?
Not for a moment did I even consider there was something wrong with me.
To me, I was just shy and not as bold as the other kids and this became my '𝘕𝘖𝘙𝘔𝘈𝘓' for almost 20years.
As you can imagine I was never the one with a thousand friends and I would 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 have imagined this would change anytime soon but then something happened that blow my perception out the window.
Fast forward to 4years ago. and I registered for the British IELTS exams and those familiar with this exam knows it comes with not just a writing and listening section but a one on one interview with an examiner so yeah for one more reason to be nervous 😰
On the day of my interview, I remember sitting in the waiting room because that day I decided to go in earlier hoping that might calm my nerves but it was just getting worse, it got really bad that day I contemplated just forgoing the interview and heading back home because I just couldn't see how I was going to go through it.
Since I had my phone and earpiece with me, I choose to listen to some music but somehow I ended up on YouTube on this peculiar video where a lady was talking about mental health and this video was one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me.
I watched as she explained 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 single emotion I was feeling at that moment and even gave a name to my 𝘕𝘖𝘙𝘔𝘈𝘓 which she called 𝗦.𝗔.𝗗
𝗦 Social
𝗔 Anxiety
𝗗 Disorder
To say I was perplexed would be an understatement, I was downright shocked to realize that all of these years this nervousness I had been managing was anything but normal.
During the video, an exercise was explained meant to help deal with anxiety attacks when it happens and it was called box breathing,
𝘏𝘖𝘞 𝘛𝘖 𝘋𝘖 𝘐𝘛?
You just breathe in while counting to 4 in your head, hold it while counting to 4, and then finally exhale through your mouth still counting to 4 in your head, you can repeat the process for as long as needed until you start feeling better.
I did that breathing exercise seating in my chair in that waiting room maybe for about 10minutes before it was my turn to go in for the interview and let's just say that was the FIRST time I would meet a total stranger without that feeling intimidated.
I was completely calm and looked my interviewer in the eyes like she was an individual I had been familiar with all my life.
When I got home I wanted to learn more about what I just found out and realize that if the right actions had been taken by my family when I was younger my entire childhood would have been a lot different but at the same time mine is a society where the term mental illness is generally associated with the clinically insane so there isn't much awareness it isn't a common topic or something a parent would know to look out for in a child.
According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), mental health is a state of well-being where an individual realizes his or her abilities and can cope with normal stresses of life while working productively to contribute to his or her community
There are quite a few mental health conditions such as anxiety and stress that if left unchecked could lead to more serious mental health conditions like depression but of course, there are also the more severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder/manic depression, and Dementia that has made so many Life's a living nightmare.
H͚O͚W͚ T͚O͚ K͚N͚O͚W͚ I͚F͚ Y͚O͚U͚R͚ S͚U͚F͚F͚E͚R͚I͚N͚G͚ F͚R͚O͚M͚ M͚E͚N͚T͚A͚L͚ D͚I͚S͚O͚R͚D͚E͚R͚
_𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴.
_𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥/𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘺.
_𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵
_𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.
_𝘚𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦.
_𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘥.
_𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥
I'm sure quite a few people will relate to one or more of those symptoms I have listed above and in my defense in my case, I had no idea what was going on with me and no one knowledgeable enough to make me understand but rather made to believe it was just me being shy and nothing more.
But there is a second group of people going through severalty health challenges today that are aware of their situation yet choose to keep it quiet and just continue managing in silence, now to this group of people I would like to ask two questions.....
Why haven't you asked for help?
What makes you think by 'managing' this will go away?
In the past 4 years, I have made more friends than I ever did since childhood, and these days in a social setting rather than hide in the back, I would be the girl in the middle of the room surrounded by 10 - 12 close friends, laughing with a glass of wine in her hand.
there were quite a few things I learned during my 4-year journey and because I know someone out there might be wondering just what to do in a similar situation I will share some of the steps I took to get where I am today.
- 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻
It doesn't help to occupy your mind daily with negative because of the situation. Although it might be hard try to keep your mind as positive as you can.
- 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀
I learned eating more fruits, nuts and greens help while you should actively try to avoid junk food and greasy stuff 🤔 also the experts advised to cut back on the red meat consumption 😁😁 okay so that part I'm not sure I can do away with.
- 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀/𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆
Talking to your trusted friends and family is something that has worked for a lot of people in the past, you need that support and care more than you realize so do not deprive them of the opportunity to support you.
- 𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗧𝗼 𝗔 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹
I never needed to use this option but I believe talking to a professional would help a lot depending on the severity of your condition as a licensed professional will be able to suggest a course of treatment is it medication or therapy.
- 𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗔𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀
Not everyone might be comfortable talking to family or friends about their mental condition probable out of fear of being judged or feeling alienated while others might not be comfortable sitting before a total stranger (professional) and talking about such intimate details so for those groups of people you can always try the online anonymous self-help groups where you can talk to someone for free and without fear that the conversation would reach anyone else and if your still not completely sure or comfortable enough then talk to me 😊 I'm pretty chatty 🤗🤗
- 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲
In an era where people live their entire life online, it's common to seat in front of a computer for hours at a time while for some that favorite couch in front of the tv is eldorado where they can stay rooted from morning till night and this growing trend of inactivity is the worse on your mental health.
I'm not going to spit medical terms or numbers I don't understand in a bid to explain just how important being active is for improving mental health because I am not a trained person but I can tell you in my case moving helped me a lot.
I got into walking whenever I started feeling caved in and also would do the occasional morning jogs and this never failed to provide relief for me.
Of course, you should decide on whatever physical activity catches your fancy from running to swimming and everything in-between as long as you stick to it.
Also, meditation is said to help a lot and keep the boxed breathing exercise in mind for the next time anxiety hits 🤗🤗
Okay so this is me just wanting to share a bit with you beautiful people today and I hope this post will make it to the timeline of someone who truly needs it today to make you understand that 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘕𝘖𝘛 𝘈𝘓𝘖𝘕𝘌 💞💞💞
Hello Princess,
This is a very informative post, and it's good to raise awareness about being more empathetic with other people.
"to listen to some music but somehow I ended up on YouTube on this peculiar video where a lady was talking about mental health.." - there are no coincidences in this life.. ;) your are constantly being guided and helped towards your growth and healing :)
Although, there is something very important to be said, about healing the ingrained beliefs about one's Self (about one's belief of being good and deserving of love) that are deeply rooted in the Inner Child Emotional Trauma. Those negative beliefs in most of the cases are the one's to cause all kinds of disorders, mental, emotional and physical. And it can be healed only in the subconscious, where they are planted. No breathing, no meds, no exercises will help if this root cause is not explored, cognized, understood and released. because you can medicate symptoms, but if the main cause is still there the problem will start manifesting in the physical body as chronic disease.
Are you familiar with the Gabor Maté book "When the Body Says No"? Or the Bessel van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" ? If you like reading, I can suggest some more. I have been on a healing journey for quite some decades :)
I'll keep reading you, your topics stir conversations and that's inspiring :)
Thank you!
Have a wonderful Wednesday!!
Thank you so much 🤗🤗🤗
This, is an issue that's hardly discussed where I'm from, but when I was a bit younger I also felt something similar to how you felt 5 years back. But how I overcame mine was by constantly trying to interact. Though I felt awkward majority of the time, one day I just thought to myself "why am I afraid? I'm the same as everyone else. So if I'm afraid, they're also afraid. And in truth, there's nothing to be afraid of."
Though it wasnt instant I gradually felt at ease, and now I'm pretty much comfortable talking to anyone
Really happy to hear you overcome the anxiety as well because only the one who has experienced it would understand just how difficult it can get especially when one has no information about it 🤔 your from Nigeria?
Yes, I thought it was normal, until after I overcame it
Yes na, where did you think I was from
Lol you look sharp enough to be from Yankee 😉 but in that case I completely understand what you must have felt like back then because we both went through the same situation living in the same society.
😎😎😎
We thank God for grace.
This is a true issue for our modern life when we are all so busy to bring the "mental health" problems up. But sure, just like our bodies, we have to take care of our emotions too. Thank you for sharing such a informative post.
Thank you so much for liking the post 🤗 and also for engaging.
Mental health is very crucial to one living a good and happy life and it's just like you say must learn to take care not just our bodies but our emotions too 💯
Great topic! What was the video you saw? Do you remember? I was looking for a link for it... I'm glad you found something that helped. I know breathing patterns can help tremendously in many ways. Thanks again for sharing!
Thank you so much for reading and I decided to share this post in the hope that it would reach others going through the same thing and that it could be a starting point to fueling the desire to fight for the change that would improve their lives.
When I decided to write this I did check for the video
because I was going to add the link but I couldn't find that particular post anymore 😔 but here is another video from about a year ago onYouTube
that I found detailed as well and hopefully it helps 👍
Thanks!
Thank you for this. It's nice to see that you are doing your part in spreading the importance of mental health. I too was a kid who never wanted social interactions, and I thought that's how I was just born. We should really be more open to these issues, and acknowledge them as legitimate medical conditions.
Thank you so much for reading 🙏 and if this post can reach even more people who have experienced any sort of mental illness or still experiencing It then I want my experience to show that there is hope.
I am really happy that you overcame your anxiety and clearly doing a lot better 🤗
My family has a history of such disorder. Although for me it’s not to the point of disrupting my lifestyle, I do prefer to be alone and ignored. For my work, I have to be outgoing. After work, I blend into the woodwork. My heart goes to you, my friend.
Thank you so much my friend 🤗 glad yours wasn't bad enough to disrupt your life in any ways and in my case it was a hugh block but thankfully it's gotten a lot better after because now I know what the issue was all along and I have found solutions that's made life so much better and easier.
I have shared your success with family members that aren’t as lucky as I am. Thank you, my sister.
If my story can help any of your family then believe me I am happy 🤗🤗🤗 sending HUGH hug to your family, let them know they are not alone.
Will do.
Wow fate has a funny way of putting topics/people/situations in your life and I just quickly skimmed this as honestly as a support so I could put up my own post, but this is going to be used as a place holder as I really need to come back and read this post to it's entirety and leave you my real comment as this touches home.
I agree with the idea of it being a stigma and we should all bring awareness to such a thing so that people out there can know it is okay to feel the feelings they are feeling. As Gary Vee says it is okay to be whoever you are as other people may not understand your circumstances.
!PIZZA
I remember seeing you on the terminal a while back and you did seem to be a bit upset 😊 but you sound a lot calmer now.
This post was something I wanted to share in the hopes it would reach others going through similar situation and that the steps I took could help others find relief.
And your right about there needing to be more awareness created around all forms of mental conditions and maybe that might help reduce the current stigma attached to it.
Thank you so much for the support 🙏
Yeah I was going through a bit of a situation, but I've learned that I need to hold myself more accountable to my own emotions and really challenge them. It is okay to feel what I feel, but I need to find constructive ways to go about how I wish to deliver my thoughts and energy as to not get people involved or putting that negative energy at the wrong directions... My recent post means a lot to me if there is anyway you can go check it out and show support would be greatly appreciated only do so if you believe in the thoughts/ideals/me though.
I just put a footnote here as I want to really go through and read it more deeply and really have a sense of understanding and can better give a comment that is far more inclusive
I already checked out your post and I understand how you must have felt by the reaction you got to your question on the group.
But I am happier to know that you realized you could work a bit better at controlling your emotions because that would serve you well in the future.
Personally, since I joined hive and found the terminal I always just take my queries there and there have been times when it's taken hours for anyone to get back to me but that's fine with me because I always know all I have to do is wait and SOMEONE will get back to me 😊 sure you understand my point.
Someone said something once that "if you say the world is too difficult to live in because people always offend you and decide to live in the forest, one day even the animals will start offending you".
Simple put offense will surely come but it's up to us how we deal with it. Just a thought here if you don't think I'm been too forward, next time don't reply immediately should a situation like this repeat itself, take yourself out of that drama zone for a bit and clear your head then much later you can come back to the issue.
Really happy that you found a coping mechanism to help make the anxiety-producing aspects of life more manageable, and I'm glad that you have shared your story here as so many people will be in the same or similar situation, perhaps feeling helpless and not understanding how common their feelings actually are (I've been there too).
Keeping a jumble of (often negative) emotions bottled up inside is so harmful, it is really important to keep the conversation about mental health going, and I'm sure what you've said here will be helpful. Thank you! 🙏
Thank you so much for your support honestly, I think these disorders are more common than we realize because while some like my younger self may not know what it was others do but choose to hide it or maybe just not sure how to deal which was the reason I choose to write this, so that they know it's okay and they are not alone.
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Hi laura 👋 sorry it took me so long to write back, spent the entire day writing a single post 🤣🤣 I write that slow.
I agree you nothing is a coincidence in life, there must be a reason because no matter how much I had thought about it I still can't figure what why and how I ended up on that particular video but like you said, maybe it was just time for my healing to begin.
It is true in some or most cases it's the deeply rooted feelings of being inadequate, unloved, or unappreciated that could trigger such mental conditions but in my case, I grow up in a loving family as the youngest child who was dotted on from birth 😇 so I wouldn't say that was my trigger because I believe in some cases one can be born with these unlining conditions but one thing I am grateful for is the fact that these simple self-care works for me and I've never needed to meet with a professional or get a prescription, so I'm appy.