The waves are indeed proof of a special kind of love.
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ― Jamie Anderson
xx
I do love that quote. At one point I was angry I loved him so fucking much. But that was the grief talking.
Loving hard is the best part of human life. You were so blessed to have that. It's incredibly difficult now but you have the best memories to carry with you throughout the rest of your life. But, I get it. Grief. From experience, you can't escape it. We carry it alongside our memories. It just becomes easier to navigate over time 🙏💗
Thanks Sam. Knowing you have also suffered the loss of your Mum, I appreciate the advice. Time seems to be the one. The first weeks hurt like fuck fuck. It's easing now. I couldn't get the songs from the service out of my head and I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was awful. Now it's eAsier, I'm just depressed.
All very normal. All very human. Only people who have never lost someone close think there is a time limit on grief. There isn't. I realised that it's not something you ever get over, but you do somehow at some point get through it. There comes a moment when the memories once again bring joy to the heart and supplant the heartache and pain that had taken up residence. But don't let anyone else try to shape the narrative or press you to heal any sooner than you are ready to... I'm so sorry you are going through this, my lovely 😔
ps: I forgot to mention but I'm so glad you had your son by your side. What a gem of a man you raised.