We could "Commiserate" and share our war stories some time if you like.
I have friends who tell me "I cannot beLIEVE all the crap you've been through in your life"
And when I sit down and try to write any sort of 'memoir', I tend to get stuck thinking:
"No one is going to believe this all happened to one person", which inevitably evolves to:
"Did all this really happen, or am I hallucinating, making it all up as I go?"
Self doubt destroys lessons learned I fear.
Good Morning @ambiguity, thanks for commenting.
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People who did not go through what we have, many times do not understand it and do not fathom the sadness and anguish that it causes us every day and many times every night. I have learned to just keep things to myself and not put it out there because people do not understand or believe what we went through because they have never been there or seen it and the anger I experience from the reactions of people is not worth it.
"Shhhh... don't say anything and it will pass, don't yell back, don't make a fuss and it will all be better", so essentially what you said. Keep it bottled up.
This is not healthy. It has caused me all manner of trauma, holding the pain and emotional turmoil inside.
Of course you meant to just not say anything to start with, but when your insides are calling out for understanding and acceptance, you need to find a way to express that.
I think.I agree @ambiguity, and yet, in my home growing up, our mother taught us to:
Yes, I get that! I have learned to talk to a mirror and it helps. People find that funny but I am here to tell you it works.
I would say talk to other vets and get it out. The problem is non-combat vets do not really understand and many combat vets think it shows weakness. So I hear and understand what you are saying!