Though I am too young to be considered a "boomer", I was brought up by boomers and that in turn means that certain things were instilled in me.
There used to be a time, when even small gestures were considered a sign of respect. I remember as a kid, my dad used to hate it if we wore a hat inside the house. It was more than just during the pledge of allegiance or the national anthem, if you were indoors, hats were not to be worn. If on the rare occasion it did slip by, heaven forbid that you made it to the dinner table with your hat still on. Eating with a hat on was even more egregious than just wearing it indoors.
I have a feeling people younger than me probably can't wrap their heads around this craziness that I speak of. Needless to say, wearing your hat in church or during prayer was an absolute no no. Yet, these days, I see it all the time when I happen to visit church.
Without turning this post into one long rant, I will admit that it drives me a bit crazy when I see stuff like that. It's not that I am morally opposed to it, but when something runs counter to those values (or maybe just rules) that were so deeply ingrained into me, it rubs me the wrong way.
I'll never do anything about it of course, people are free to do and live however they want. Plus, who's to say that my way is the right way. Perhaps my parents got it totally wrong doing things the way they did. I don't really think that is the case, but far be it from me to assume my way is the right way or the only way.
Trust me, my family wasn't isn't perfect. There are plenty of additional pieces of fundamental etiquette that I have come to learn in my fifteen plus years with @mrsbozz. It would seem that every family has different things they do to show respect. Some of them are pretty universal, but others are more specific to each family.
Perhaps that was the case with the hat thing.
There are several other things I remember from my younger years. Things we were taught in school, things that don't seem to be as big of a deal anymore as they were back then.
For example, when I was in school, we had to take actual lessons on how to ride a bicycle properly. Cyclists had to follow the rules of the road and obey pretty much all the same rules as an automobile. The one thing I never did quite get down was the hand signals for stopping and turning, but I digress.
Again, not to sound like the old man screaming "you kids get off my lawn", but people just ride wherever they want anymore. At least in the US. Perhaps we don't have a cycle culture like they do in Europe that folks aren't as mindful of those sorts of things. I've seen cyclists blow through stop signs and red lights like they aren't even there. Riding on the wrong side of the road is also a common occurrence. Plus, heaven forbid you get in an accident with one of them, no matter whether they were obeying the rules or not, you are totally guilty in the court of public opinion.
I had a kid ride in front of me across the sidewalk as I was turning into a business a while ago. He "thought he could beat me" according to his own words. He didn't. Thankfully I wasn't going fast enough for anything to happen, but he was definitely shook up. I'm actually a big shocked that I didn't end up being public enemy #1 on some Facebook page after that, but that's a whole other issue these days.
Finally, not to get political, but I also remember a time when we were taught about how to act if the President of the United States were to enter a room we were in. I came from a small town in the middle of nowhere. There was about a 1% chance that we would ever be in that situation, but we were taught it anyway.
Decorum instructed that you stand, if you had a hat on, you take it off, not to be weird, but basically the way you would treat a lady. Ever notice how cowboys in the movies take off their hat when a lady enters the room?
How many Trump supporters do you think take off their MAGA hats when he is in their presence. Honestly, he probably doesn't care. So why should we?
I mean, should we?
I often find myself looking at the state of the world and wondering where we went off the rails. Then again, maybe we are right on track and the things that seemed important to me aren't really that important.
In the grand scheme of things, does it matter if someone is wearing a hat? Am I really naive enough to think that them wearing a hat during prayer is going to keep them from getting to heaven (if you believe in that stuff). I certainly haven't seen any lightning bolts coming down smiting them.
But the question remains. Do people just not care? Were they just not taught the same as some of us? Or in the grand scheme of things do those things not really matter that much.
You can have a lot going on in your life and still be respectful.
It's not that hard really. Is it necessary? I'd like to think the world might be a little nicer place these days if we held onto some of those small signs of respect, but maybe I am wrong....
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If there is one country that has a cycling culture then it is the Netherlands. But having more bicycles than inhabitants doesn't make them behave better.
My biggest pet peeves are:
No it's not better over here.
That's definitely a shame to hear! I have never been there, but I had Copenhagen in mind specifically when I wrote that paragraph above. The e-bikes are getting to be problematic here too. You have kids who aren't old enough to drive riding them down the road going faster than some of the Sunday traffic at times!
Copenhagen is also cyclist friendly indeed.
But you should check out this clip from the Dutch city Utrecht (offtopic)
Wow, that is definitely impressive!
There can be a lack of respect in many situations these days. I'm not religious, but when I go to look around a church I'd take off my hat anyway. I think a lot of what is called 'woke' is actually about respecting people who are different to you. You do not have to agree with their ways, but if they are doing you no harm then let them get on with it. We see so many attacks on 'others', but it is individuals who do bad things and they come in all flavours.
I've never met any royalty, but there's all sorts of etiquette about how to behave around them. They are just people though. Elected politicians should not get too big-headed as they are only there thanks to people who voted for them. You can respect the office rather than the person.
Be excellent to each other!
It's just the general idea of decorum has flown out the window I think. I'm not saying I am always a proper gentleman, but I'd like to think I at least show some amount of respect.
I am a millennial, I my dad was brought up by boomers. Growing up, those little rules of etiquette were drilled into us. Like, you never showed up to a party empty-handed, and saying "please" and "thank you" were non-negotiable.
It's definitely interesting to see how things have changed. I think a lot of it has to do with the pace of life speeding up and the emphasis shifting from formal manners to, well, just being a decent human.
I still try to hold onto some of those old-school values, but I also try not to be too judgmental. Maybe it's just a different generation, with different priorities.
I do wonder sometimes if we've lost a little something in the shuffle, though. That sense of respect for others, even in small ways, can go a long way.
That is a good point. I think you can live a fast paced life and still be a decent human being though. I think a lot of it leads back to entitlement and everyone thinking they are the center of the universe. There is a fine line between taking care of yourself mentally and putting yourself on a pedestal you don't belong on.
You're absolutely right, @bozz. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but that doesn't mean we have to sacrifice our humanity. Entitlement seems to be a real issue these days, with many people feeling like the world revolves around them. It's important to remember that we're all interconnected, and that treating others with respect is essential, even in the midst of a busy life.
I totally agree!
I can relate to the Hat thing, but then again I am old enough to be a Boomer lOL
!pimp
Interesting thoughts, really. I have to premise I was born and I live in Italy and my dad teached me the same sign of respect: we had to wear the hat just outside, never inside the home and he used to take off his hat when he met a friend along the street.
About the Church (when I was a little one my family went to the Catholic Church every Sunday) I remember nobody wore an hat, but the old women wore an handkerchief on the head as a sign of respect. There was another sign of respect for women inside the Church: to cover the shoulders.
I'm not a faithful practitioners and I use to pray just by myself (it's a long long story...), but when I have to go to the Church I do my best to give the same signs of respect my family teached me.
Yeah, that sounds about right. I try to be the same way. I'm sure some folks would shake their head at me wearing jeans or shorts to church these days. It's interesting how some norms change, but others stay just as steadfast.
When you wear a hat it doesn't matter what others think, do what you feel like Wearing a cap does not make a person big or small, it is just that his humanity becomes the best. Always stay beautiful and live your life in the world as per your wish and give happiness to others as well.Forget about what others think of you and just keep having fun in life and being together
The manners on hats died when men stopped wearing them in business and formal situations. I think without the requirement of wearing them anymore, dads just didn't teach their sons the rules and it never moved on to the next generations. By the time ball caps became popular, the etiquette was pretty much lost.
Whew MAGA... they don't know the hat etiquette, nor do they know the flag code, and judging by all the terrible things they say about the non-Republican presidents, including drawing them tired up on their pickup trucks, I don't think they know how to respectful at all.
Anyway, about the cycling: no, it's not better elsewhere. In Japan they everyone rides bicycles. Yet, manners are terrible, especially for kids. High schoolers will weave in and out of traffic on their bikes, cut right in front of people driving fast, the works. If a car hits a bicyclist here, it is automatically 100% the car driver's fault, so his insurance takes a hit and he gets a mark on his driver's license, yet avoiding hitting these crazy kids is hard sometimes.
Yeah... it's not only the US.
Well that makes me feel a little better. I'm guessing some of the hat thing goes all the way back to Leviticus and some of the rules that are in that book, but I could be totally wrong. You are likely right that men don't wear them formally like they used to, so ball caps just get lost in the mix.
The world has changed, that's for sure. Now a days you don't have to take off your hat for anything. Unless you're in the military then the hat comes off when you are under cover . Don't miss those days...
Respect is becoming a thing of the past, sad isn't it?
Yes, it is definitely sad. Is it something that really mattered in the first place though? My guess is that is what some might argue. It's probably a pretty trivial thing compared to some of the bigger issues these days, but for me it's the little things that count and tell you the most about a person.
Respect, manners I guess that stuff is a thing of the past. World is changing and yet the more things change the more things stay the same outside of technology.
Have you ever considered that it might be us going through various age stages and our perception of the world is different based on which age stage we are in?
I definitely wouldn't put that outside the realm of possibility. I am definitely getting older!