My cat Simba is a mentally ill cat. He must be my spirit animal. One of his pet peeves (pun intended) is that he hates being touched anywhere but his head. If you pet him anywhere but his head, he will bite you.
Yes, he is afflicted. But I am too.
To prove my point, the msallest things seem to agitate me to no end these days. Kind of like Simba getting a good petting on his back. It doesn't take much either; someone not holding a door for someone with their hands full, the jerk who leaves their cart in the middle of the aisle. the pushy salesperson ringing my doorbell to upsell me Internet service even though I have a "NO SOLICITING" sticker on the door.
That last one is sort of the prompt for this post. Two days ago, some young ladies came to the door, rang my doorbell that sits right next to the door at eyelevel with the "NO SOLICITING" sticket. After wrestling with my dogs, who lose their dman minds when the doorbell rings, I cracked the door open.
Immediantely I knew they were salespeople. My immediate thought was to just close the door, but the manners I was raised with would not allow it. I quickly shoved one of my dogs back inside with one foot as I tried to ask them what they needed. This was already irritating me.
One young lady started a slaes pitch about AT&T Internet speeds in my area and asked if I wanted to switch from my current service. While still wrestling with a dog with one leg, I told her no thank you and I was not interested and satisfied with my current provider and service. I then slowly closed the door.
Relieved that my struggle with the dog was finsihed, I shuffled back to my recliner, plopped down and started stewing. This was the thrid time a salesperson from AT&T had knocked on my door in about as many weeks. Both ignoring the "NO SOLICITING" sticker.
Why was I being so courteous to these people, when they could not be courteous enough to my household to respect my request to not be solicited at my own house. I continued to stew.
There was a time when I was younger that I would not have tolerated such behavior and would have gave them an ear full. Sometimes that earfull would be laiden with expletives.
However, as I have gotten older, I noticed that I have become more tolderable of bad behavior. It's not that I condone or even like it, but it seems the "juice just isn't worth the squeeze" anymore. In fact, most people when you give them an earful about their bad behavior will try and turn it wround and blame you for their misdeed(s).
It would feel good though to give these jerkoffs a good tongue lashing occasionally, but my better angels have control nowadays. Escalation of the situation through my diatribe would only make things worse, increase my anxiety and plus I might be the asshole that ends up in the clink as big bubbas love toy.
Next time, I think I will just kindly point out the sign, and close the door, have a stiff drink, and go back to doing what I was doing. Maybe walk on my walking pad for a bit and thnk about hanging them by their toenails.
On a more serious note, this is something I am hoping to explore more and make some discoveries about in The Body Keeps the Score. If anything, maybe discuss with the therapist why she thinks I get so easily triggered by such seemingly insignificant afronts and minor acts of rudeness.
Yes, I have mellowed out as I've aged, but I would like to get a little more mellow in processing such things. Society is not getting any more polite, so my experiences are not going to improve anytime soon.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
He's so beautiful and reminds me of my own tabby cats who sadly aren't amongst us anymore.
I think many people just don't read anymore, it also goes for these signs at the door, they just walk from door to door on auto pilot without consideren these signs. I remember being in sales for security systems when I was young and always passing the houses with these signs because you know it's a waste of time to ring the bell there anyway.
But like on Hive, I guess in real life many people also fail to read, lol.
Sorry that it got you triggered though, but I get it, I can have such moments as well. Is your cat afraid for strangers too btw? My grey white tabby lady is so afraid when the bell rings that she races (sometimes she slips while turning the corner in the hallway haha) through the hallway to the bathroom furthest away from the door and then hides between the wall and toilet.
No idea why she is so scared honestly but I was curious if yours is tolerable of strangers, or even curious?
He is a little timid around strangers for a few moments, but as soon as he realizes he can get a pat on the head, he makes friends quickly.
It is not just the slaes person, but just what I would call the decline of polite behavior in society as a whole that triggers me sometimes. The inability of someone to hold a door, or say excuse me, those types of things.
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I think our dog Jovi had some mental issues as well. She was super smart, but she had some massive separation anxiety it was kind of sad and I am actually glad her suffering with that aspect is over now. We always know it's not good when someone knocks on our or rings the doorbell. Kind of like if someone calls us after a certain time, we know it is an emergency. Anyway, a lot of times it's kids from the neighborhood selling things. It's likely just as awkward for them, so we try to be nice and buy stuff. I'm guessing that's the case for a lot of sales people. They know people don't want to see them, but they need to make a buck...
So sorry about Jovi. I know you miss her a great deal.
I don't mind the kids at all. In fact I don't really mind sales people too much, but when it is the same company two or three times in a matter of weeks...well it gets to be a little much to me, especially with my NO SOLICITING sticker on the door.
I know it may not be that big of a deal in hte big scheme, but for some reason things like that really trigger me lately and hopefully reflecting on it more will help me overcome the anxiety it brings with it. It is not just the sales people though. That was just the example, but probably a poor one. It is impolite behavior of others that is what has been triggering me. For instance people on speaker phone in public stores is one that really gets to me.
Yeah, I totally get where you are coming from. People have no situational awareness these days. Many folks are so self absorbed, it is sad. I think we need more empathy and to understand the impact our actions have on other people.
Yeah, I would inlude myslef in that too. Maybe I need to be a little less of a "you kids get off my yard" old man. I hope at least I am not turning into THAT guy.
I hope I am not as well. Sometimes though I have to stop and wonder!
I wonder if they even know what NO SOLICITING means... I'm kind of surprised that there are still door-to-door salespeople these days. Here in Japan about the only two types of people who ring the doorbell are mormons and the NHK police trying to get money.
It is possible with the education these days they may not know what it means. Yeah, we get companies trying to sell Internet, Pest control, and other services all the time. They are supposed to have permits from the town as well to do door-to-door, but most don't.
'Scuze me, Sir...I would like to talk to you about your extended auto warranty'
'I would like to talk to you about Jesus, if I could just have a few moments of your time'
'Would you like to buy (insert bullshit)'
'Have I got a deal for you! Would you like to switch (insert bullshit)'
Maybe you should move your No Soliciting sign to cover your doorbell, then rig up a dummy bell that only delivers a shock to the ringer. Would probably get sued lol
You just about covered all the usual ones. Sounds like someone who has lived the experience recently. You are right, in today's society we would get taken to court for sure.
Yea, better stay on the right side of the law lol
LOL
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