I've done the same, struggled with similar decisions so understand to some degree how you may be feeling. Duty, honour and integrity are things that mean something to me so it makes decisions like that a little more complicated although we (I say that generally) have to be true to ourselves and make decisions based around our needs
On the commiseration thing, thanks for saying what you did. I know people just want to say something nice, show some empathy, but it's difficult without the details and perspective which I have purposely omitted. The sentiment is plenty, thank you.
