The term unsettled comes to mind as that is how I describe those feelings of dis-ease. There is nothing wrong, yet it is not right. It can disturb your thought processe/* for minutes, hours or days at a time. It is a good thing that writing centers your mind and clears away some of the fog. As you have always been such a great writer maybe just cling to that lifeline and write more and more. Don't worry over improper terminology too much, simply write.
I think your idea of couples writing out their feelings before an argument is a valid idea. That is if they had the presence of mind to break away and actually do it as. The 'new you' is just as good as the old you, just in a different way!
After the stroke, I was "out of body" (disconnected) for months, but this is something different. Will follow and see where it leads.
It would also make for an interesting reflection document of a life together I think. What we argue about, what feelings arise and how we think about it in the moment and afterward.
Yep - I am "different" :D