There will be those days when a customer does not book your service, when your best planned out fashion designs are frowned over, when your cutest amigurumi does not win the competition, when an art fair rejects your fibreart. The latter happened to me. Sigh.
This was one of the reasons I for longer did not post and was very reduced in commenting, sorry for this, I was moping. Actually, I also had a cold/corona (I am still unsure) and have till today impaired hearing on one ear, this also did not spark joy.
Back to the rejection.
The last half year was filled for me with working on the bigger topic of women getting older and all the negative consequences this has for them in society. I have painted, sewed, crocheted, embroidered, and knitted. I created room installations, wrote texts, I hung up the paintings and and and. All in all, I was convinced of the topics importance and after setting up the exhibitions in February and May I also was convinced the artworks are not too bad (you know… even after getting a grant for the exhibition I still doubt my skills). I was looking forward to writing about all my experiences and I was even more excited to share some photos of the finished artworks you only saw in the making.
I will write about this, I promise
And then came the rejection. I applied with three works for a spot at an art fair of the Frauenmuseum Bonn (Museum for female art) in October. I thought the topic would be spot on for the fair and they reassured me on the phone that they also accepted room installations. But no, two weeks ago I got the rejection (I am on the waiting list). And as my first impulse was to quit making art forever (yeah… I know… very mature reaction 😆) I thought why not cope with this in a healthier way and perhaps I even can inspire you to be less sad about unpleasant surprises in your needlework business. Or even better we could start a conversation and share strategies to survive the brutish needlework and art world.
Distraction
Do something you love and what demands your full attention.
After being sad for two days I could not stand myself any longer. But I also, could not stand to work on the exhibition which I actually should do as it will move in July into a bigger room in the town centre. I did not want to write about the artworks, did not want to update the website and neither did I want to post about it here. I felt like an imposter.
Not a productive state. So, I fell back to the one thing which always cheers me up: I casted on something new. Ok, even better. At first, I furiously finished my first shawl I ever made with expensive hand dyed super soft wool. And this shawl I gifted to my mother. Two birds with one stone, I made my mother happy as she adored the pixelated yarn colors and I could start something new.
mother and daughter united in the love of one shawl :-D
To exploit the distraction potential of a new knitting process to the maximum, I decided to try out a lace pattern. This called for a three-day ravelry research for the perfect pattern, a week long pondering and swatching to find the perfect yarn. And now I am sitting here with a project which requires unlike my mindless cardigans my whole attention. The Muru Kai shawl starts with the more complicated part – the lace border – and will than move on to an easier part of garter stitch peppered with short rows. For me this meant to re-learn the standard western knitting technique as my own knitting style is not suitable for lace.
You see not much time to be sad about anything, because wandering thoughts mean unravelling. Just to let you know, I am in row four of the shawl 😂
Analysing
Look at the whole situation dispassionate.
„What !!?!“ You will say, „I shall think through this gruesome event in detail? This will make me feel even worse!“ And perhaps you have a point. But it is necessary to open your eyes to the situation and to at least get some benefit of it, meaning learn something.
In my situation it was thinking about where I applied (and art fair) and what its purpose is (selling art and connecting with buyers). Both points should have been obvious, but they somehow where not for me. While applying I was so immersed in the topic about gender injustice that I somehow missed to think about the „marketability“ of my artworks. While I am still (or again after the rejection-crisis subsided) convinced the artworks are important to start discussions about this topic to ultimately better the social situation for all, a huge room installation with embroidered sanitary pads may not be to the liking of most buyers. Do not laugh, I seldom think about selling anything – one reason I am so grateful there are art grants.
Then there was the other thing…. Most application I so far did had a huge section where you had to explain the artistic concept and a smaller section for your artistic cv. This time there was no section for the artistic concept, they only wanted an extensive artistic cv. Both not to my advantage. Most of my artworks need an explanation – not uncommon I would say for postmodern art – as the concept is ultimately the real art. And on the other hand, I do not have an impressive artistic cv as most of the awards and scholarships I got were for performing arts (remember I was a choreographer when younger – double sigh) I only work (professionally) in visual arts for I guess three years. I am not a member in any official art association, and this is very important in Germany (yes, the cliché is real, official papers are more important than content).
Reframing and Learning
Move from „I am a looser“ to „what can I make better next time.
After analysing the whole situation which may have felt like pouring acid into an open wound, now comes the tip which will give us a bit of comfort. In my case it went like this:
I never will know why I was rejected. There could be a million reasons. But it may be possible that the jury wanted to only represent art which will be sellable, and which can be presented well at a stall (like smaller scaled sculptures or paintings). Both does not apply to the works I chose for the application. 
seeing new perspectives
The nice part of this reframing is, I can let go of the idea that I as an artist am worthless and move on to things I can change for the next time. Like really thinking about where I am applying, if it is an art fair, or for an exhibition in a gallery, for an auction or for a scholarship etc. I learned that I need to think less about my works and more about the recipient when applying.
The other point I must give some more thoughts is that I have a huge disadvantage in applying because of my unusual CV. I am still unsure how to remedy or cope with this and how to turn it into something positive. I have no „prove“ like an art study or membership in an art association to convince officials that my art is „worthy“. Should not play a role, but it does….
Get going
Do something similar but not the same.
Remember when you learned to bike and when after you fell your parents or whoever taught you biking said, to hop on again immediately? It’s the same case here. You may feel like quitting forever but in the long run this is impossible, either because it’s your job, or it is your favourite hobby and huge part of your identity.
As I wrote above, I felt appalled by the thought of making additional artworks about this topic for the exhibition in July, I did not want to write about the artworks, and I did not want to think about them (did not work). But I knew I ultimately will go on, so better now than later.
My strategy was to choose a completely different medium and topic for me. I bought a super tiny sketchbook (instead of the huge paintings I normally do) and some acrylic and alcohol markers and started to sketch „meaningless“ things. I did not plan the sketches, I did not chose topics which are near to me, I simply painted random things and people (as you can see the HALIENS from my last year’s topic crept back into the sketches, but as I did not felt angry about them it was ok :-DDD).
To start back with the fibreart I chose a skirt with tires and ruffles I already made for an installation and set the goal to transform it into something wearable – it’s the one with the huge holes on the photos, a design from Simone Rocha. So far, I cut out the pattern pieces, hemmed them and started with the gathering. I am still unsure how to solve the problem of the „holes“ as I prefer not to be naked in my clothes. I ponder a underskirt or to sew zippers into the holes or to transform the holes into a kind of pocket with lining.
Both projects are far enough away from the Candyfloss for Patriarchy (rejected) artworks but still similar enough to get myself back on track to being productive.
Now on to my last advice
Fire
Burn down your adversary or if impossible, the whole neighbourhood. This solution erases the cause of rejection ultimately but may lead to a different set of problems. The how-to is easy: buy petrol and a lighter and go ahead. You perhaps guessed this tip as you already know my preferred method to cope with problems…. But although not a new tip, I wanted to include it as one can never have enough coping strategies 🤪
Back to being serious. I hope I could inspire you to not give up something you love just because there is some wind (or storm) blowing against you. I would love to hear if you had to cope with rejection and if you have some tips what best to do (or not).
Thank you @crosheille for initiating and @marblely and @kattycrochet for hosting the #needleworkmonday and the community builder team @lauramica and @romeskie I am so glad to be part of. If you want to see more beautiful projects with yarn, fabric, and most of all needles, follow @needleworkmonday. Or even better grab your needles and keyboard and join the #needleworkmonday community.
Ohhh, if you don't have a hive account and want to comment then visit my Wordpressblog Bliss and Blisters and write me there.
Read more about my art und upcoming exhibitions on neumannsalva or buy some of my digital artworks on NFT showroom.
Last but not least: if my post coaxed a smile on your face you could support me on Ko-fi
I'm pretty sure we all have imposter syndrome sometimes, especially in a discipline like art, it's tough since it is very subjective and you can never really have a metric of how "good" your art is unless you look at something concrete like sales which IMO doesn't really mean anything LOL. Some of the worst art makes the most money. In the end I think you have to make the art that pleases you, it will always resonate with someone, sometimes I think it's better to be true to yourself even if it means less popular. Rejection sucks either way but I guess you have a good solution of burning everything down 😂
Yes the art market is a mix of funny and so horrible I could vomit sometimes... Alone that most only buy art to make money not because they like it is so twisted, its beyond me (perhaps I would see this differently if I grew up rich, I don't know)
And naturally you are right about doing the thing which one feels have to be created (art wise) but its always a fight for me (and I fear for many others too) between "is it worth it?, am I good enough?" and sometimes changing into "yes, I guess I am the artistic ruler of the world"... 🤣
After all this mood swings, the burning seems to be a natural solution :-DDDDD
But something completely different… are you perhaps interested to write sometimes about how you juggle online and analog art (either producing, networking, exhibiting etc.)? Because I find this really tough, I either do one or the other and find it hard to synch both.
Pretty much all my art related activities are online 😂 I just moved out to the country so the opportunity for IRL events is even slimmer but I'm pretty okay with that!
This was so good to read!! I really appreciate you starting this conversation about rejection and feeling like you failed... I think it is such an important thing to talk about, and not just stay quiet or not-wanting-to-share-failure, since also you mentioned there is so many ways to get out of it and even grow from it (easy to say afterwards I guess not so much when it just happened). So now I ll try not to forget anything I wanted to reply to you..:)
Well I think for sure focusing on something else is key, to me anyways, (actually just realized that recently (again?) where I just had to drop the project, to focus on things that will resonate more and get me inspired again, instead of fixing something that is not fixable anymore, or anyway to much energy spent for not much reward) And to finish I just wanted to make you a compliment for all the things you started making after the rejection!! you where really productive:) especially I really like your sketches, the colors and different techniques look awesome, I did always find that very inspiring to see sketchbooks like that where every page is filled with colors and drawings (I never manage, too much writing and random sketching pops up over time..) and also I love the skirt you made with the wholes, for sure a bit naked, but it looks really cool I find!! Well so on I hope you got(and will get even more) all the inspiration you could out of this rejection, or find enough distraction from it!! (so you can save up the fire for next time:))
Yes, you are right failure comes with the art... especially when you need to sell/comply to the market. I am especially bad at this (selling I mean). But its not the market alone, but the process of creating which often leads to doubts and self critic and I think it is really helpful to have the possibility to be open about this without the fear of other using this against one.
And the relevant community’s in Hive are really helpful in this regard.
As I have commented, I for example find the way you tackle sewing/fashion super interesting and helpful (perhaps because I am more timid regarding sewing). It is liberating to see how you work and your photo setups are always wonderful. Reading about your process lets me connect even more… And having people (like you and all the others who commented) whose art and personality you value is very important to get going when the outside (or the inner critic) pushes back.
argh… rambling, sorry.
Just for you to laugh: i had to unravel the shawl because i misread row 3 so fundamentally it even was funny 😄
And with the sketchbook. I also have sketchbooks which are more like a notebook with ideas, scribbling, fast sketches and the occasionally filled page. This more formal sketchbook where I try to fill every (ok, most) pages is a new thing for me. It helps that the book is so tiny (11 x 11 cm) 🤣
Yes for sure, I guess selling "things" has its own science all together, but I feel you when it comes to your own honest expression (through art) it becomes a lot more difficult. I guess a rejection of a piece then feels more as a rejection of your self.. Then even there though, I had to learn, that exposing yourself in that sense might go wrong, and might put you down. But then if you find resonance and people understanding and appreciating it, this is just worth so much, I feel, that all the rejections are kind of worth it... So I feel like not exposing in fear of rejection isnt really an option anymore, even though keeping expectations as low as possible really helps..
And then as you said I also feel amazed by all the positive and inspiring exchange, feedback and exposure on hive. There as well it did take me a long time actually from creating my account to post something (in doubt I would cope with bad or no reaction at all) but again I am super happy I went for it and didnt shy away..
For your art, as well, the part I saw of it on hive, I was very inspired by it I must say. How you found a way to combine sewing/crocheting with contemporary art, installations and sculptures which is something I was thinking of but havent seen or found anywhere!!
to come to an end well yes I guess having a small sketchbook helps..:) and keeping the thinking low might help against unravelling..hahah
Dracarys!!! burn them all 🔥🔥🔥🔥
hahaha no seriously, I'm sorry that you rejected me, the subject of art for commerce is so complex, the last exhibition in a museum in which I participated was in 2019 and it was with a knitted mask, but in general since the university I gave myself up Defeated with the art at the exhibition level of my country, for now I only make "marketable" dolls because I have something to live for, but even though I actually live from publishing it on Hive, I feel all your process.
friend you are the rock keep going with yours 💜
Yes FIIIIIRRREEEEE... Maybe I even could declare the fire an art-project and get a scholarship for it :-DDD
But back to serious, I am sorry to hear you also have to fight this kind of volatile (and very capitalistic) art world. And I feel you on all points, I also make more in writing about art or needlework than with the objects itself. Sadly currency is different here and the money from hive is in no way enough (but also I am much less prolific than you - I am really amazed how much you get done).
I really hope you will also get more recognition as I looooooove what you do. Your dolls alone show what a good artistic eye you have.
I guess the rejection hit me so hard this time, as I thought my topic was so fitting for the museum. Other rejection were easier to understand...
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences (do you have photos of the mask??? I am so curious, would love to see it!!!)
I made a post about it a few years ago, I hope you like it, I really doubt that I will exhibit again in a museum in my country, it is difficult to have support for that
https://hive.blog/hive-156509/@irenenavarroart/obra-hannya-criolla
This makes me sad again... I love the mask, the color, the dense stitches, all the details: amazing. I want this to be exhibited! it would be so great to have more support for artists in all countries. Most people want to see art, want to hear music and want a vibrant town which encorporates a lot of culture, but sadly seldom anybody wants to pay for it.
Hmmm perhaps we have to found a hive art-sholarship?
(@juliakponsford and @castleberry not sure if you read this... is there already such a thing? If not could it be a thing?)
No such thing in the formal sense that I know of, we have built ties with OCD to have better curation for the alien art hive community posts to encourage the artists as much as possible but aside from that nothing else organized. What would you envision for something like that?
To be honest it was just a thought that popped up, as I profited so much from the scholarship I got. I am always afraid to waist material (and money with it) and I am afraid to just experiment without the pressure to produce „something“. The scholarship helped to overcome this a bit. And I am a deadline worker. I honestly like to have a set date and topic (which I chose myself in this case) and being bound to finish things and to work consequently on this one topic.
I kind of thought maybe it is possible to have such scholarship on hive, to give artists the opportunity to work during a set period on one topic.
I will think about it… ……..it should be something which is a bit different from earning through posting (which is so awesome, and I am always amazed how much work you all put in to get the community flourishing) It should add value to hive and the art community. And I think it would be good to have a visible result.
Sorry, I am brainstorming while writing. Not so fascinating for you to read 🤪
I will think some days about this and will write you, Thank you for being open for such an idea (if I come up with a real idea) <3
yes, it is certainly very insulting, my dear! It's okay that you're a little moping! the main thing is that you have found an excellent method (or rather even a strategy!) of dealing with blues 😀👍 wow, how you have everything complicated in the art world 😮🙄 Probably all of us have been rejected in our lives. but I can't think of anything right now. in this rejection, you were not told that you are a bad artist or your idea is bad. maybe they just have a different theme or they see it differently. I honestly don't even know what I would do in a situation like this 🙄
It is always encouraging to write with you 😘 Rejection (indifferent in which topic) are always hurtful. I kind of am used to them as you get them fairly often in the art context, but this time it really hit me hard, as I thought my topic would fit so well… but ok, I have to move on :-DDD
I think you're right when you wrote that they may have considered your topic as not very suitable for sale (if that is their main goal, but of course no one will admit it). now I will know that if I want to enter the world of art, I need to learn to calmly respond to refusals, because you say that this often happens 😕
Not sure its the same in all countries. I only have experiences in Germany and UK and there it seems to be quite similar. But with the lot of refusals I not only meant my time working in visual arts, but also in performing arts. Its quite normal to have a lot of auditions and only get a very small percentage of the jobs.
I hope I did not discouraged you, because I remember you are also a wonderful painter!!!
oh what are you! I'm not an artist yet, I'm just learning to draw. I like it. I don't really understand the difference between visual arts and performing arts 😶🙈
Hmmmm, quite an ordeal here my dear.
You are not a loser
And will never be one
They just didn't have an understanding of what you have go present. Am glad that you channeled your energy to make that shawl for your mum( my regards to her).
Am also glad that you channeled that rejection energy to make. Sometimes the world shys away from the ethical problems of. Our eofiee
To be honest, I made the shawl for myself, but my mother saw it and found the colors so lovely, I directly gave it to her :-D (I will greet her from you <3)
And yes, you are right the art market/world is as superficial and capitalist (sometimes i think even more) than every other market. But I really had height hopes for this fair as I thought my topic would fit very well.
I already saw some of the artworks they took and they are less "critical" I think, more nice to look at... I guess I should write more at hive, as this is a better chance to earn than in the analog world.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words (I am always amazed and in awe how much you write and post and tell myself to take you as a good role model <3)
I am very impressed and inspired with how you ended up coping with all this. I know it took a couple of days to mope (which is a natural reaction for many of us) but look at how you were able to get through this. Sometimes we can have big or deeper visions than what others are ready for. As already stated it could just be that their idea of the fair was in a different direction than what you had to share this time.
I was rejected by a website when trying to sell my photography works. It was a couple of years back when I felt my photography had improved and could maybe make a few bucks from my shots. They told me to come back and try again once I had gotten more experience and exposure :(
I was down about it for a few days and didn’t want to do photography for awhile (you’re not the only one who’s mature 😆😜). However, I didn’t let it stop me…two years later I am starting my own family photography business with a handful of clients and no need to get “hired” for anyone’s website. It feels so much better to be working for myself being able to be the artist I want to be without any limits or going by someone else’s rules. Being rejected actually made me work harder to prove to myself my work IS worth it! I began spending more time practicing and studying my art to master it a little more each day. 🙂
Honestly, you are one of the bravest needle artist I know. Remember back then when I was supposed to start an Etsy account? I realized this year the main reason why I held back…it was from being scared of rejection. I didn’t want to receive anything back in the mail from dissatisfied customers. It was a terrifying thought so I backed out.
I love the shawl you made for your mother, those pixelated colors are so bright and cheery.
Continue creating, enjoying, doing it yourself, inspiring, and being you! Good for you for getting back at it and seeing where your ideas go from there. 💓
Yep, I was very good at the self-pity for some days 🤣 And as I already saw some of the artworks which were accepted, I must say you are right, they really wanted something different. I guess they wanted more beauty than problematic :-DDD (I fear I am not good in beauty with art).
And thank you so much for sharing your photo-business journey: while looking at your post I often thought you have simply wonderful photos, and seldom thought deeper, that it may also be a journey for you. Therefore I am even more excited, that this has grown in a real business (again: your photos are amazing) and you were not deterred by this unhelpful criticism from the website (I hate it when you do not have a chance to understand the criticism/feedback so that one can do better next time).
And one aspect you mentioned I also find very important and that is that you (and me too) have clear ideas of what to express artistically. This can get watered down very fast when one is hired (or bound to a fixed gallery). Nevertheless, there is the dilemma of how to make any money of the artworks (I mean my weird installations :-DD) besides from scholarships, because these are like a lottery win. Its something I ponder or work around for years now. I fear I have to think more…
By the way: I always wondered how sold knitted items look from the inside :-DDD If they sew in the yarn-ends more professional than me or if they are only much more courages to accept that handmade does not look like machine made.
Thank you so much for taking time to liften me up <3<3<3
Well I hope you don't try to change what you're good at and comfortable with expressing. Let's hope there will be a time and exhibit that welcomes all you have to offer. 😉
Thanks so much for the compliment of my photos. It was a hurtful rejection but it steered me in the right direction of improvement. ☺️
It’s funny you say that because I’ve seen professional knitted garments sold in the store and thought to myself “I guess if the item looks this good people don’t care much about the hanging ends.” I was surprised that the ends weren’t sewed. I guess we as the artist pay more attention to it but the consumer just sees the full product and doesn’t look at the tiny details that help hold the item together lol. I notice every loose string that’s out of place. 😅
Of course my dear, anytime ~ 💓
For a moment I thought the same as Irene, but no, it's better to leave them alive so they can see your success later and regret what they did to you.
There are things that simply have no explanation, keep thinking about it is a torment in your head that does not let you live, so turn all your anger and sadness to do new things, surely something good will come out.
Take care of your health, I hope it's nothing bad, drink lots of water.
We love you at needleworkmonday and we are privileged to have you.
I just wrote to Irene, that perhaps we could make an art performance out of the burning and try to get a scholarship for it :-DDDD
Sometimes I find such rejection really hard... I got them often enough but this time I really thought my topic would fit so well. But ok, I have to accept it.
And with the ear: I was at the doctor last Friday and already am taking medication, when its not better in one week they need to cut the ear open (oh horror!!!!) I really hope it will get better, but so far I cannot feel any betterment. The doctor reassured me that it is not dangerous but very annoying… hopefully it will get better soon.
Thank you so much for your supportive comment, sending hugs <3
This reminded me so much of the only breakup I ever had: trying to stay busy with other things, getting by, trying to do better next time :-D haha. I guess that's what rejection must feel like in various aspects of life. Surely there will be a place to exhibit all your art Simone, what we have seen here is very good and interesting, you do it very well. I'm glad you're looking not to be discouraged ❤️.
I only read your first sentence and than I thought "yes stupid Frauenmuseum, I will break up with you forever" Ok, I guess I am not completely over this rejection :-DDD
I get those rejections fairly often, only this time I thought my topic would fit so well into the museum, that i was more (negativity) surprised it did not work out. It would have been such a good opportunity.... But well, I have to try on.
If you ever want me to set your old love on fire, feel free to reach out (better on discord to keep it away from the police)
Nice coping strategies. I must admit that I've experienced some of the same issues and attempted the same resolutions.
Thanks for sharing.