I have noticed lately, as I am well into my 40's, that I am less likely to tolerate things that annoy me. Previously I was a lot more easy-going and would just take things in stride but as I get older I find myself not being willing to tolerate certain situations and avoiding people and places that have this impact on me. I was walking somewhere the other day and it occurred to me that as I get even older, this is likely going to get worse.
It's the way that I am and while there are certain days that I am more willing to be patient, most of the time I will speak up or just leave a situation that has these things in it. Let me make a short list and see how many of you feel the same way.
Loud places
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To many, the picture above might seem like a good time but to me it seems like hell just by looking at it and if I was even in a place that packed, which is almost certainly also very loud, I would leave because I would hate every minute of it. Far too often, I am invited somewhere by someone only to arrive and discover that they have the sound system at what has to be close to maximum volume. It is impossible for me to relax or have fun in these situations and even if I miss out on a "good time" I will leave.
There are some local bars where I have some clout as a regular and one of them in particular will always put the volume on both sports and music at a level that makes it nearly impossible for the people that are there to speak to one another. I am able to get them to turn it down or even off in these places. Look, I don't need the places I go to to be library-quiet, but I do not see the point of going somewhere social when it isn't possible to talk to the other people there. If you are paying for a concert I get it, but just some random place? Screw all that nonsense.
Smokers coughing up a lung and then complaining about illness
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I'm an ex-smoker. It was the ignorance and invulnerability of youth that lead me down that path. I'm not disappointed that I ever picked the habit up because it was something that basically everyone did when I was a teenager and in my 20's. Very few of the people I knew were non-smokers. Almost all of them are now though. I don't understand how anyone can continue this habit knowing what we know now.
But all that aside and because I am willing to allow others to do whatever the hell they want to, there is one thing that I have zero sympathy for and will call the people out every time it happens. Someone I know was irritatingly "coughing up a lung" around all of us and if we were outdoors he was spitting on the ground as well. It sounds disgusting, it is disgusting. It's also very loud which ties into my first point. This guy when asked "are you alright dude?" answered with "I'm coming down with a head cold" while simultaneously butting out his 15th cigarette of the afternoon. While I am not denying the possibility that there is a bit of a cold involved there since it is that time of year, it is you and your habits that are making this everyone's problem instead of your own. Your body is reacting so violently to a tiny cold that I had as well and was over in 36 hours because you have a self-destructive habit. I don't think that smokers have any ground to complain about respiratory issues when they are intentionally wrecking their respiratory system 20-40 times a day.
Once I was driving a motorcycle with a girl who was a smoker on the back and when I got behind a truck and some exhaust headed our direction she started coughing, complaining about the fumes. I said "you intentionally poison yourself 30 times a day, shut up."
Get TF back home with your loud, phlegm-filled, annoying and persistent hacking.
People cutting in line
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I'm not talking about "my friend was holding me a spot" sort of thing but the people that just seem to think that the line or queue doesn't apply to them. Some nationalities seem to make this a national sport to annoy the rest of the world and I have experienced plenty of that in SE Asia. I think it is directly related to affluence as well, as strange and sad as that may sound but I base this on the fact that when I was in wealthy Asian countries like Korea and Japan, everyone politely gets in line and the whole system works faster because of that. Here in the relatively poor South though, lines are routinely ignored by certain members of society. This is oddly quite evident in the type of people that were in my 2nd point too who walk into a mini-mart that has a line and they don't even make an attempt to join said line. They walk up to the front sometimes interrupting the current transaction to get a pack of ciggies. Do they think that because of their habit that they are somehow entitled to not wait in line? It's gotten to the point where I will "OI!" someone and then point at the line in an intimidating fashion.
They act all sorry most of the time at that point and also look at the line like they didn't know what it was for. They know what it is for, they are just inconsiderate members of society. Don't even get me started on behavior at airports.
People not being aware of their surroundings
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This has a lot to do with phones but is not entirely related to it. It is evident that there are a lot more zombies wandering our streets who can't manage to put down the phone long enough to walk across the street but that isn't the full extent of it. I'm also talking about people who abruptly turn around on a sidewalk nearly running into the people behind them and even children who meander on their bikes or when running out into the street. In places like Vietnam this extends also to people that are operating vehicles who seem to think they are the only people on the road.
Maybe I am more sensitive to this because I have spent my entire life trying to be polite and not get in other people's way. When I am jogging I am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure that I am not going to run into anyone. Others do not have the same courtesy as I will frequently encounter groups of people that instead of walking single file will occupy the entire sidewalk end to end with apparently zero concern about the fact that the people walking towards them now have no way of getting around them. When they act all surprised about why there is an issue when we do finally meet, I want to punch them or even better, treat it like a game of "red rover" that I played as a child and get a running start to see if I can break through their lines.
These are just the examples of things that popped up in the past 24 hours, I'm sure there are plenty more.
I'm slowly slipping into the grumpy old man portion of my life I guess.
I've been experiencing a stupid amount of this in Georgia. There's zero order or respect for those around you in this place, so the roads are a reflection of how the people simply are on foot.
A few days before New Year's I was standing in a line in a supermarket, I was next to place my things on the belt to get scanned. So I was clearly already in the line, it was blatant that there was no confusion or mistakes. You can't assume otherwise when you're next in line at the regular checkout spots. I looked to my side for a single second and when I turned back some woman had just casually put herself in front of me. At the same time she had the audacity to tell me to wait while she looked around at the other lines to see if they were faster somehow. I was shocked. I didn't let her get away with it.
I see this sort of behaviour here so much, I do not let them get away with it. If someone pushes in front of me, I will either move them out of the way or just move in front of them again. I've reached that point of ensuring it doesn't get accepted. But it's not something I really saw back home in England, there's definitely a bit more respect and order when it comes to such things.
I also encounter so many people that while walking they just won't get out of the way, knowing that it could be a narrow path and people are coming from the opposite direction, leading to me being the one that really has to move out of the way and still get a hard shoulder into my side. Nobody waits for the other person, you don't get a smile, nod, or thank you for showing kindness here so it simply breeds a more negative atmosphere. Why go out of your way to support the nastiness? Definitely turns you into the same hateful fuck you see everywhere else. It really is like walking in the street is to be around idle-minded people that just stop in their tracks out of nowhere. Just standing in doorways for no reason or ensuring they roam around the least convenient spots for everyone else.
This is all stuff I mostly encountered in Georgia. The people here have led to me deciding to move back to Armenia in summer where the people actually had some awareness and respect for those around. It was more engraved in the culture to not be the most annoying fuck imaginable in the street.
sounds like you got fed up and I know people that couldn't hack it here in Vietnam. A lot of people end up feeling this way about the population in China as well but who knows? maybe the social credit system will start getting people in line. I don't meant to paint all Chinese people with the same brush but I have been told (by a Chinese person) that the Chinese tourists tend to behave badly overseas because they are so repressed in their own country so they "go nuts" when they are overseas. Whatever the reason is though, lack of courtesy isn't something that I excuse in anyone.
The older we are the grumpy we will 😂😂 I have passed this period by avoiding such a circle, circumstances or take it as the story of the day😁 even if someone jump in the line, I made a joke about it sometime 😜 maybe he/she's in need to have a peepee and forgot to wear diapers while lining up in queue 😂 trust me.. JK!
Bringing up in SEA, there are many things that I can tolerate while I grow old and older. The only crowd that I tolerate is the crowd at the football stadium 😍 what's the point of hanging out if we're the only supporter, right 😉 we have an option to watch the game at home. To have a nice talk with friends and relatives, I would go to a nice and quiet place like an unknown old café.
Your opinion matters anyway 🌹✌️
Don't feel bad, I think it happens to all of us! About the only time I really enjoy loud music in a venue like that I am going there specifically for the music. Like one of the honky tonks down on Broadway in Nashville. You're basically there for one reason, so you can't really complain. The situational awareness thing drives me crazy. It drives my wife crazy too, but between you and me, she is just as guilty of it sometimes as the people who annoy her! :)
Yes, if you are paying for a concert then blast it man! I will say this though after going to a concert and it was so loud that my neck hurt afterwards that I will still bring ear plugs the next time I go to a concert... which isn't often an option because nobody tours to Vietnam.
The loudest concert I have ever been to was KISS at a small arena near where I live. My ears were ringing for days after that one!
All of the above are incredibly annoying, and particularly people who are oblivious of their surroundings.
I'll add to that people in cars who behave like they clearly are the only people to ever use the road... swerving as they text, slowing down to crawl because they see an interesting shop in the middle of heavy traffic, then going too fast through a school zone and finally making a sudden left turn from the right hand of 4 lanes of traffic...
the people in these cars that you describe are just extremely selfish. I call them the "me first me only" people and they are everywhere here in Vietnam. Will just cut all the way across a 4 or 5 lane highway and expect everyone to accommodate them.
I think this is normal as I have no patience for stupidity these days. If there is a queue I tend to skip it and will return when it is quieter. This I believe is all natural and normal and my family sometimes calls me Mr Grumpy because I don't put up with crap anymore.
aint that the truth about the lines. I have been to my local minimart and seen it really busy and decided to return later many times.
Haha. I guess it's normal to people getting older. Take it easy. 😉 Just pray for people who annoy you, ask God for conversion of sinners everytime you experience such with people. 😁
Even if I am still in my 30s I don't like loud places already...haha. How much more in my 40s. I wasn't that aware of my habits until you posted this. Thanks for this. I had realizations in life.☺️
😆 me as well.A disco and concert don't excite me anymore. I am being killjoy.
A concert maybe, but disco? Never
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