I've had no other than job than Hive for several years now, and I've put great efforts into this platform to now finally reach the post payouts I feel I deserve, but it's no longer sustainable when combined with all the other things I must do each day.
๐ซ No More Burning The Candle At Both Ends ๐ฏ๏ธ
ย ย ย For the past three years I've been "burning the candle at the both ends," an expression we use in the USA to mean doing too much or overly exerting oneself in an unsustainable way. When we were stranded in Suriname there was no method to withdraw our crypto, so I spent my life savings to survive while stranded abroad during the pandemic during Suriname's economic collapse. Every day there I was working full-time on Hive while also spending hours and hours each day searching for food at nearly empty markets, waiting for hours and hours in Western Union cues, and countless other things that completely consumed my time.
ย ย ย Fast forward to now, we're back in Cambodia finally, have purchased land in a kind of environment that I am more accustomed to living in, but I still have not been able to find more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night. This way of life has been going on for far too long, and I've noticed negative changes in my health like the loss of hair, a weaker immune system, and many other negative consequences as a result of simply not sleeping enough.
ย ย ย During this time I have also remained an active and involved parent, homeschooling, taking the kids to school, cooking, and doing various household chores, but it's come at a high cost to my health, plus I really don't feel I've been as involved as a parent should or could be. While in Suriname I helped my wife to start a Hive blog in order to help us earn some much-needed extra income, and was hoping she could eventually learn to manage her own Hive account, blog, and crypto independently, but I still spend a bit of time each day managing her Hive/crypto tasks. I
ย ย ย I also started an account for my daughters so they that they could begin to build a savings nest egg of their own because I regretfully have no financial assets for them to inherit. I didn't realize at the time that this would add several hours of extra work for me each day on top of an already busy work day. Three years later my oldest daughter is able to run her blog 75% independently, manages a wee bit of her Hive account and crypto, and even does one ASEAN Hive post per week on Sunday to help me enjoy the only day each week I don't spend 6 hours in the tuk-tuk. She still doesn't curate yet, but I've been teaching her a little bit about what it takes to run the ASEAN Hive Community and all the duties involved.
ย ย ย I've tried for years to teach my wife how to manage her own Hive account, but it usually ends after a few days of studying. ASEAN Hive has been slowly growing during this time, and by having my family join me on Hive, I thought it would reduce my workload because we could eventually share the responsibilities, but instead the opposite has happened, and I am now responsible for their accounts in addition to ASEAN Hive. All these circumstances have led to me having no time for sleep, and the only way to keep my personal blog alive was to be a house-husband during the day and pursue my personal Hive blog after 8pm when the family has gone to sleep, but this obviously isn't sustainable or healthy.
โณ Life Is Dynamic
ย ย ย My wife's health has also gone downhill over the last three years, and it's common for her to be sick 3-4 days a week. I also suspect she suffers from chronic fatigue, so I've taken on more and more of the responsibilities of a stay-at-home parent through the years to help her, and the only place to steal this exra time from was my sleep schedule. For the past several weeks I've been making an effort to be in bed by midnight, and this allows me about 4-5 hours of sleep before I wake up at 5:20am to take the kids to school 6 days a week, working in the tuk-tuk until returning home around 12 in the afternoon.
ย ย ย These past weeks I've been the stay-at-home parent I feel that my daughters deserve, making them lunches to take to school instead of giving them money to buy something unhealthy from a package. I've also been trying my best to make sure they have a homemade lunch and dinner, keeping the house a little tidier, being more involved in their education, playing games and doing projects with them, making conversation, offering life advice through personal stories, watching movies together, etc. The girls have made it clear they prefer they prefer this version of Dad over the one that is overworked and underslept.
ย ย ย So, for me the choice is clear, because of my wife's health issues, she's unable to be this kind of super-involved and active stay-at-home parent, but I think the kids deserve a commitment like this. I grew up as a latchkey kid with both parents working 60 hours a week, so I only ever saw them for a few minutes in the evening, and on their day off they were too exhausted to be very involved with me. I was always jealous of kids that had a stay-at-home mom because they always had better grades, better snacks, and better stories of projects, travels, and adventures they shared with this parent or parents.
๐ค Pensive About The Future
ย ย ย I really thought Hive was going to be this tool that would allow my wife and I the economic freedom to share the role of a stay-at-home parent. I must be honest, if I didn't need money, I'd be a fulltime stay-at-home dad, spending my days with my daughters, doing things to prepare them for the future and giving them as many life-skills as possible. Life isn't this blissfully easy though, and we all need some form of income to survive and provide for ourselves, and when I function as a stay-at-home parent there isn't enough income for us to survive.
ย ย ย It is truly regretful though to finally to be able to meet our family's financial needs by myself, but also to realize this leaves a lot of things out of order in the home. In order for me to continue working full-time and earn the money my family needs to survive, someone else would need to do all the cooking, cleaning, supplemental homeschooling, taking the kids to/from school, and just generally being an active and involved parent, but I'd still have little time with the kids like this. I really wish my wife would learn how to drive the motorbike so she can help me by taking the kids to school, but I think I will soon pay our neighbor $200 per month to do it in his truck, hoping the extra time this will give me will allow me to start blogging again and split transportation costs with Srey-Yuu.
ย ย ย Although Hive is awesome, if I was my wife and my husband earned more than enough to take care of the family, I would spend all my free time cooking, cleaning, hanging out with my daughters. I actually love domestic work, especially cooking, but unfortunately we can't change roles because my wife doesn't have the computer skills to take over ASEAN Hive, and even after years of being on Hive, hasn't showed much interest in learning more skills so that she can manage her Hive profile independently.
ย ย ย I personally would love for us both to know how to do each other's work so that we can equally share responsibilities. I once tried to teach my wife how to curate in ASEAN Hive, but that experiment ended after 30 minutes when she became extremely bored with the learning process. As the years have gone by, ASEAN Hive has grown and also the time it requires each day, and along with this my wife's chronic fatigue and health have gotten worse, and now it's to the point where I can no longer split myself between earning enough money for the family to survive while also taking on 50% of the responsibilities of a stay-at-home parent.
ย ย ย I haven't been posting lately due to a lack of time, but also because I have been saddened by the realization that life in the mountains may not be the right choice for my family and I. Working this many hours a day on only a handful of hours of sleep has finally caught up with me, and we now are losing several hundred dollars a month, not a good formula to pay back $40,000 USD that was borrowed to purchase the land we are on. If we can't sort out the transportation issue, my ideas are either to move to a small rental room in the town where my daughters attend school, spending 6 days a week there so that I can gain a few extra hours of sleep each day, or stop taking the village kids along with us in the tuk-tuk, allowing me to ride the moto with just the three of us, cutting costs, traveling faster, and returning home each morning instead of working in the tuk-tuk.
ย ย ย If I have to live in the town, I would rather choose life in a more interesting place elsewhere in Cambodia and sell the land and let this dream die. The last idea I have is to try and hire a caregiver/assistant for the family. I would be willing to let them stay in the cabin rent-free, provide free food, pay a modest salary, and only task them with learning my recipes, taking the kids to/from school each day, and helping me with a little ASEAN Hive work.
ย ย ย If I did this we'd lose the potential ability to earn income from the rental cabin, and also would be losing at least 40% of our ASEAN Hive income. This would still leave me unable to repay the loan because we honestly need every single dollar I can earn. In short there is no way out of this, and I've had a very hard time seeing the future lately. I've tried to focus on living day to day, sleeping a few more each night and waking up in a zombie-like state to take the kids to school, but this has taken away my lust for life, my passion, my drive, and the joy I used to experience when working on Hive.
ย ย ย These are the reasons that have kept me from posting, I'm not enjoying life to the fullest these days. I seek change, and I'm heartbroken at the thought of losing the dream of what life could be here in the Cardamom Mountains. My daughters deserve a stay-at-home active parent, and I've been busy the last few weeks being that person while also fulfilling my ASEAN Hive duties, but I've missed posting and interacting with Hive friends because it was really a passion for me, and also the majority of our income came from my blog.
ย ย ย This post probably feels like an incoherent rant, but I'm sorry, the last few years I've been so busy that I haven't been able to maintain physical friendships. You Hivers have become my closest friends, and at this point likely know me better than anyone else in life, so that is why I've posted these feelings and worries. I apologize and hope to find myself in a better mental state soon, but it likely won't come until I figure out a way through this mess. I feel as though my personal paradise has quickly become a burden on my shoulders, and although I am used to life in the mountains and love it here, the only solution I have is to return to an urban area and live in a tiny apartment while trying to sell the land to repay our loan. A life like this would create less daily responsibilities for me and have less monthly living expenses than our diesel costs here, but it's not really the life I want to live.
ย ย ย Rant over, I soon hope to be sharing some content and posts again soon just like in the olden days, so I will try to keeping working towards finding a balance so that this is possible.
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I feel so sad when I read the outpouring of your heart and all the things that have happened to you and your family so far to all of us here, oh God, the problems in life that you are facing right now are really heavy. I hope you stay strong and patient through all this my brother, because believe that God will soon help you so that you are able to get through all of it..
Being a caring parent who can set aside his daily time by being directly involved and actively monitoring the growth and development of children at home is very good. I can say my brother @justinparke, you are a smart father and lucky your wife and children because you have a husband as well as a father who understands very well the emotional closeness between parents and children and understands about giving the right education pattern that must be given to his children.
There are so many parents who don't understand basic things like this, I can honestly say that in our country (Indonesia) it's also like that, the mindset of the fathers (men) in our country is that their job is only to work or make money. to provide for the family, while the tasks of cooking, washing, taking care of the house, taking care of children, to taking care of the children's school needs are the duties of mothers (women). And I am very sure that this mindset is also the same for fathers (males) in all countries in the Southeast Asia region, the majority of which are of the same Malay family..!! Whereas the truth is when we get married then all of that becomes a shared responsibility between us as husband and wife..!! In my religion (Islam) it is even explained that it is the absolute responsibility of a father (male)...
I understand very well if at this time you and your family are very dependent on income from Hive, then of course you have to carefully manage your time for all of that, and yes, as you told us, you become sleep deprived because of it. while the situation is the opposite, you are forced to take over and take full responsibility for the management of all hive accounts, be it your wife's account and also your children's account. And yes, obviously it is not very good for your health my brother, I hope you will soon find the best solution for all the difficulties that have happened to your family so far
I am personally very grateful that you have considered me as one of your best and closest friends so far on hive, I really enjoy reading your posts, listening to all your complaints, laughing when you laugh and also sad when you're sad. Oh God, if only I could help and help you when you are having a hard time like now. Please forgive me, my brother, because right now I am also very, very busy with all the work at the office and also at home. It's been almost 2 weeks I haven't greeted you and have also been involved in the ASEAN Hive Community and in other communities, I've been really busy lately. I'm sorry again, Justin. I have 5 small children, I am also like you, I take care all of them myself, clean the house and take care of their needs to school. And I enjoy all of it ๐๐๐ฉ
Your words are inspiring, and I can't imagine 5 children, you really have your work cut out for you ๐.
In some ways I am okay with traditional life, the husband working to earn money, and the wife responsible for home affairs. I am also good at cooking, cleaning, parenting, homeschooling and all the old-fashioned duties of a wife, this is because I have lived alone as a bachelor for many years, and am very good at living alone.
The most important thing for me is to share the responsibilities equally regardless of what they are, and right now that is something we are working. Balance is needed in all aspects of life, and I hope we will keep working on that. Thank you for thinking of my family and I, you are kind soul and I think you understand my situation all too well ๐.
After reading your post I've known in some previous posts about your life when you were in your new place of residence and I see that this is one of the things in our lives that there are things that we don't want but it looks like you will soon get it. through it so that everything will be better in the future because you as a father and also responsible for your family but you have tried to divide your time so that all routine tasks every day you can carry out such as taking children to school and also managing ASEAN HIVE communication and also teaching children -your children and wife about this hive and also life in the area where you live which is far from the city I see you can't enjoy it like other people enjoy the mountainous area, the solution to moving to the city would be better and I see urban areas might be better for you know but will it be able to provide a solution best for you and your family because as we know urban life is very different from life in a less populated area like the mountainous area where you live now especially everything in the city is very expensive and also because I live in a rural area looking for posts for HIVE this will be easier to do if we live in rural or mountainous areas if we live in urban areas looking for hive content I think it is more monotonous, your place of residence is very unique and many people will also want to live in that place but it has been a problem for you face is far from where your children's education is so you have to drive every day which is very far I think it's really tiring and also takes up your time. and I see you are amazing to be able to manage everything here well especially the ASEAN HIVE community is growing very rapidly with more and more users making posts in our beloved community, I hope that in the future you will get more sleep time and also take care of your health so we can still greet and interact with each other in this hive.
Thank you for these words, they are very inspiring. You're right, there are hardships of life here in the remote mountains, but the negatives outweigh the positives. I think making a daily schedule on paper for me to follow would be very helpful with time management.
ASEAN Hive Community will always be a priority because of the how many people it impacts, and it is also a positive force in my life.
Not exactly sure why, I'm also in the streak of skip posting these few weeks. Other than checking on notifications and replying messages occasionally, I hardly have time to make a proper post. May be it was just all excuses I found myself, I simply choose to sit back and watch porn instead of making post.
The interview I mentioned couple of weeks ago didn't workout. Worst of all, my current boss found out ๐ so I will have to act like "so what" and pretended I'm not worried. Despite the top dogs now pay more attention to my performance, but I sense it's not in a good way. If I perform well, they'll be thinking I'm out of the market. If I let myself loose, they will probably start loosen my responsibilities and find a replacement ON me ๐
I totally feel ya my man. The diesel sponsor still on. I think for the kids, it's worth the trouble for these couple of years. And by that time when we looked back, I hope we shall say I'm glad we hold on to the shit blogging, making enough to pay up the property, taken care of the kids and having a good time still.
We find ourselves in similar but different situations, haha. Sorry about the interview and information leaks, I can only imagine how awkward the situation is now for you. Well, you've kind of got one foot out the door, so I hope you do eventually find a job with a less hostile work environment, and they appreciate having you on the team.
We're gearing up for our neighbor to begin taking the kids to school each month for $200. I told Srey-Yuu that her mom and I would help with $50 per month, but she will have to raise $150 by herself through blogging, Splinterlands rentals, and perhaps some monthly NFT Showroom fundraiser sales. If you are interested in helping, perhaps comment on @srey-yuu's post to let her know you may still help a bit.
Since Hive earning dropped sharply, we have faced difficulties. I have the same experience, my Hive earning is not enough to feed my family, I have to start my small business but the sales is not good. I try to get a job as a part time teacher but the salary is still under my expenses. I hope some whales will not halt their upvotes. I see some whales halting their upvotes, I don't know the reason why.
Far distance school needs high cost, you can rent your house and move to a new location near a school.
I think some of the whales are now upvoting the HBD/HIVE stabilizer posts instead of supporting content creators. I guess the thinking is when you have millions of HIVE, it's more important to bring the price up than to spread the wealth around a little.
Some of the whale votes I used to get have also stopped, and with HIVE's low price I am also considering other options for work. I wish we had unlimited internet so that I could do online Khmer language classes, but this place is so beautiful that we gladly accept the hardships that come with it.
Time is always the biggest commodity we have. My own kids don't need my attention that much, so when they do want it I do my best to give it to them.
But man, I'm really sorry to hear about your dilemmas. There really is only so much of you to go around. I have no advice or wisdom to share, other than to say that I'm sure that whatever you choose to do, it will be the right decision for you and your family and the well being of the girls.
Good luck! Don't make any rash decisions. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
That's sage advice, I am trying to take things slowly, but realize that ultimately one of us needs to commit more time to housework, cooking, etc. Thanks for caring my man, the gesture alone is uplifting.
Sometimes itโs hard to find that balance in life. Itโs okay to stop, re-think, re-plan and make changes.
Though you have some tough decisions to make, based on your post here, you are aware of your situation, have thought about different plans and are seeing how best you can serve your family and meet their needs. Youโve worked hard and also deserve some good sleep. I wish you and your family all the best as you make the next steps and decisions.
Thank you for thinking of us, the road ahead has some tough decisions, but no challenge delivered to us is ever too big to handle. Starting next month I am no longer taking the kids to school, gonna pay the neighbor guy $200 a month, but hopefully we can earn more than that with the free time it will give us.
You have a lovely family. Youโll have to give up some cash for the neighbors to take the kids to school but will benefits in other ways. All the best for the changes ahead. Have a great week. ๐ถ
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It is good that you want to take some time off to take care of yourself. Depending on hive for three years must have been a huge task for you. I can imagine how you feel being shouldered with so many responsibilities.
I also tried to carry my husband and brother along on this platform but just like you, I end up running all the accounts myself. I have taken a break and just walk at my own pace.
I hope you get the much needed rest that you deserve.
That is good advice, it's so hard finding the balance in life at times. I definitely need to try and work out a daily schedule despite it feeling impossible, but even just writing things out on paper could help to make some necessary changes. Give thanks ๐.
My dear brother you are all family is are very good family. I always follow you and your family post I like it all post you share your all experience in your life with your family so I the appreciate with you and one thing I tell you life is not easy more up and downs always come but you are the family head and You strongly support always your family so that reason I like you.
Thank you my friend, some positivity from my fellow Hivers is welcome at this time. I hope things improve and I find a better way to deal with life's challenges.
Less is more ;^)
Less work, more sleep, more time for your family, increased health, etc and I have no doubt that everything will start flowing again, over time
You ( all ) will get out of this stronger.
I am looking forward to seeing how all of this will develop.
Take care buddy!
In a strange twist of fate, we may actually be looking at trying to immigrate to Portugal, long story. Our USA Visa seems hopeless now, but with an EU passport the family could visit the USA with me, and Portugal is the Albania of the EU, cheapest place to live and easiest immigration.
Taking a break sounds smart man, try to get back to 7 hours of sleep a night if you can or your health will continue to deteriorate and at the end of the day your health is your wealth. I spent time in Cambodia in 2008 and I loved the place and the people.
๐I arrived here in 2010, things have changed so much since then, as mass tourism started around this time. There's still not the amount of visitors like Thailand and Vietnam have, but Cambodia is slowly coming up.
Your struggle is extraordinary, sir, keep your enthusiasm for your work, may health always be for you, you have tried well, don't be broken hearted for the things of your life You still have time to see the big princess with her success in hive well in other
Yes, thank you, a brighter future for them is all I want, and to also they would be okay if something happened to me.
according to your wishes hope you are always healthy
Take care and I don't mind those so called "rants", because it gives insight and perspective. Also hoping you'll find the balance somehow and to also keep living that dream, while also being present with your family.
Take care!
Time is the true master, and finding balance in life is super simple but also extremely challenging. Thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah, definitely. Would want to visit ya'll someday on your property ๐.
Congratulations to Mr. @justin-parke for educating his wife and children to work at hive. I hope your work is well rewarded. and more success with hive.
I hope so too, but I hope Hive doesn't continue to distract from keeping a clean house and healthy meals on the table.
This is tragic to read about how the land thing isn't working out for you buddy. Your absence was noticed but also perfectly understandable.
Some frustrating times, and now coincides with the umpteenth denial of our USA visa. At this point I don't think my American family will ever know my Cambodian family, and I've made peace with that. I also still want to get my daughters a strong passport before they're legally adults and the process is much harder. It looks like Portugal is the easiest EU country to get residency in, seems with proof of around $1,200 of monthly income I/we can get a self-employed visa and within 6 years could have Portuguese passports. rom what I've read we can spend only two months a year in Portugal and otherwise live in Cambodia, and still keep the path towards EU citizenship open.
If we could do that, at the end of the 5 years we could sell our land here for hopefully a profit, repay the loan and buy an olive tree and a roof in Portugal somewhere, perhaps the Azores islands, about as close as we could be to the US before we get passports.
There's already a rich guy buying up property in our area, talking about resorts, clearcutting the forest, etc., I suspect our little are will be ruined in 5 years, but the property worth much more, so I need to make peace with the fact that no natural spaces in Cambodia last for more than 15 years once humans enter them. I would also like Srey-Yuu to get some years of proper highschool education somewhere in the world, so who knows, maybe the future is Portugal, or at least two months a year.
That's such a tragic situation buddy. I've heard a lot of stories about people not being able to get their families into the United States legally over the years. As much as I complain about other countries being dicks about their visas, the US is much much more difficult.
What about Mexico? I've heard stories about how they will let basically anyone in there.
Many 'Mericans that live in Mexico don't fool with residency because I think you can stay 180 days per year without a visa, but Cambodians need a transit visa to even use Mexican airports, it was a problem for us on the way to Ecuador, had to avoid Mexican and USA airports.
Before heading to Asia many years ago I looked into Mexican residency visas, and it was tough. They required at least on year history of depositing $2,000 USD+ into an American bank account and to have earned at least that much in salary for a year before attempting to get the visa from the Mexican Embassy in the USA.
Most of the people that actually buy homes and do the retirement thing usually earn far more than that, so it's not a problem, but I never even earned more than $1,500 per month in the USA while working 60 hours a week.
Panama is the most open visa-wise, but I've never been interested in living or visiting there, plus it's expensive to go through the process, lawyers required for every document, everything apostilled from the USA, etc.
My brother-in-law is busy every day and never sees time to rest, I feel sorry for you, have a good day.
Sleep has no price, it is like gold to me, thanks sis.
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