Well, I know all people are very different, but let me add something from the opposite side.
I had oncological desease and I stopped talking with almost all of my friend or reduced them to minimum, because I hated that glance with a pity, like they were trying to say good buy to me, and felt sorry for me. And I didn't have any intention to die, especcially that I had very big statistical chances (95% in particular and I said it to all of them, but they still looked at me with that terrible glance).
So I was restricted to communicating just with others in the hospital. Because there I felt normal, and it was just a period when I need to take medicines and treatment, and it was finished like any other temporary problem.
Wow. I really appreciate this. I understand your point of view ..tho i will never have a full grasp of how it felt like when you were in that situation. I was very careful not to make her feel that i pity her- i never felt that.
I had a hard time figuring out too how to reach out bec as u said, i didnt know if she wants to be alone or she wants me around..but i still chose to reach out-coz how else would i know? What was on my mind was that....if she shuts her self from me...there will be a pain of rejection but i was willing to take that chance. REjection is bearable that the thought of never trying to reach out as a friend when she needs one.