My first freewrite 5 minutes story ( I hope I write something cool)

in Freewriters4 years ago

paperandpen.jpg

The weather is very cold while everyone was walking through the city, crossing the wide street, a lady, a man, and a boy , they was talking about funny things, that the man was loughing, the woman was smiling, the boy was looking at his parents, a car came very fast and splashed the water on them, the man was shouting but the driver was to fast to listen to him swearing.
They reached the hotel, they was talking different language, I couldn't understand, but I have to do my job, I walked fast to reach the bag of the woman, but as I put a hand on it, someone shot me, and I died.

Sort:  

You managed to do a whole lot in just five minutes -- I could see the entire scene -- and that plot twist! Well done!

actually I wanted o end it with a different way but the story and the lake of time drove me to this ending, thank you for reading .

Think of it this way ... you can write as much as you can in five minutes, but we're not going to judge you in this community if you write a few minutes more ...

yeah I understand it ^^

I liked this story. I thought the narrator was the boy at first. Good!

There are spelling/grammer errors though:

  • The title: it's "wrote" not "write!"
  • loughing -> laughing
  • to fast -> too fast

Other than that, the story is great!

Hi khalifandro,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiehive.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.