I stumbled upon a group of friends laughing and joking about a very sensitive topic recently.At first I thought maybe I had misheard them or that they were just joking and rying to be funny but as I prayed more attention and listened more,i realized that they were actually being serious.They were joking and making light of something that had caused immense pain and suffering to many people,and it was like I was been punched in the face.
Sincerely,i felt angry,sad and at the same time disappointed.I did not really know how to react or what to say at first,a part of me wanted to speak up and tell them how hurtful their words were the other but part of me was afraid of being criticized or better still "ridiculed".
I stood there thinking how best to talk,cos I definitely will,one of my friends noticed my discomfort and said "Toyo what's wrong?"I hesitated,then I just blurt out"I just don't think all y'all saying is funny," she responded "what", then i said" put yourself in their shoes,its really quite offensive and It's really hurtful to some people."
My friend looked somehow,I couldn't get what her facial expression meant,I thought I had overreacted and was about talking when she noded and said"You're right,its offensive and not something to joke about,I am sorry,we didn't mean to offend anyone." Then others in the group also apologize as well.Wow,i felt wow,like,i never expected them to think or react that way..that quickly,we later discussed certain topics that were off-limits and how our words could impact others,and the fact that not everyone caused what he/she is facing, so we shouldn't extract a joke out of it."None of us would have loved if it were the topic of your family we were making a joke out of"I said.
I am glad that I had spoken up,even though it had been difficult and I was proud of my friends for listening and learning.
I always thought I was the "confident and outspoken type"but in that moment,I hesitated,afraid of beingr ridiculed.
I realized that everyone has their own struggles and challenges and that we never know what someone else might be going through and even if we do,we shouldn't use it against them or pick a joke out of it as "it is really quite offensives" .We should be more mindful of our words and actions,amd to be kind.
Looking back now on that experience,I see that the way we approach even the "offensive issues" does matters, if I had shouted out of nowhere and shut them up,maybe that would have been two wrongs which won't make a right.In situations,circumstances,and all,we always have the power to choose how we respond so as to make a positive difference/impact.
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