"In the future, I would like you to mind your own business" she said, looking him straight in the eye, unflinching, and dead serious. Even her lawyer cringed.
He was taken aback. Way back. Back to the time she asked him to marry her. And he said yes. And she married him, glass eye and all.
She loved him back then. They shared their futures for a while. Opened businesses all over town, worked like the dickens, raised chickens, bought a home, had children, cats, and friends.
Then it all fell apart.
He thought the chickens were scrawny, and tried to feed them more scratch grains.
She said scratch grains were for sissy chickens, and she did not want her chickens to be sissies. They were, after all, fighting roosters and needed their strength, no sissies.
He objected to their fighting at all! He said so!
She said "THEN WHY ARE WE EVEN LIVING IN THIS HELL HOLE OF A CITY?! Let's move to the country where chickens don't have to fight for a living."
He agreed. They packed up their broods, and their breeds, and their brethren, and moved to Bodunk USA.
Where neither of them was happy.
This is my entry to @mariannewest's daily freewrite challenge. Today's prompt is future business. I miss my chickens. Thank you for reading this sad tale.
For a sad tale, that's highly amusing, and very skilfully done. And those chickens! My girls aren't half as photogenic but they're rescues and have had a hard start in life.
I have taken so many pictures of chickens over my chicken rearing years, but that is the only one I could find on my computer today. The only one! I wonder where all the photos go, like socks. And happy marriages.
What does a hard start to a chicken's life look like? Were they rescues?
We rescue ex-battery hens from a local sanctuary. When they arrive with their combs all drooping and lots of bald patches and sores, they're the cutest but most pathetic thing you're likely to see. After a few months of TLC though, they're running about, playing chicken with the dogs, and generally having a ball. I hope you don't mind me messing up your page with photos. If you do just shout and I'll delete.
Awww...that's so sweet. We had chickens on and off when my son was little, and he used to love playing with them. They definitely have cute little personalities. At one point we had a rooster who wouldn't eat until I petted him. He'd jump up on the roof of the coop, and do a little dance until he got his pets, while he watched the hens eat. Then once I patted him a bit he'd jump down and eat. Little character.
We get great laughs out of our chucks and their antics and they're some of the best conversationalists I know:)
I don't mind at all. That poor thing when you got him! Horrible. Thank you for doing what you do! Oh I miss my ladies something awful. They were so entertaining, and loyal. I don't have room for them in my new home, but I think I will try quails as a substitute. I would like to have a protein source (eggs) when SHTF.
haha I have a cat who does that! He has to have his morning loving, then he pretty much disappears for the rest of the day.
I agree with @deirdyweirdy, that's perhaps the funniest tragic tale I've ever read. "Let's move to the country where chickens don't have to fight for a living" is still making me laugh, even as I cut and paste it into this comment. I mean, I guess at least the chickens were bound for happier lives, even if the couple wasn't 🤣.
Side note: I'm curious, how did the husband (is that the right word for him, btw, husband? Or is he more like a "male wife"? I know it's not pc to say such things in the current environment, but it's hard to tell who's the boy and who's the girl here, which is also quite entertaining) happen to have a glass eye?
It makes me want to do chain fiction. Do people still do that here?
When you've answered my questions, I'll answer yours.
It's a freewrite! I dunno, they didn't tell me!
What is chain fiction?
🤣 ok fair enough. I'm still waiting for my characters to tell me a bunch of stuff too.
Chain fiction...I think that's what it's called. It's where one person starts a story, the next person picks it up from there, and so on, until you have a whole (usually really weird) story from beginning to end.
BTW I suspect that some of your questions might be answered in EP 4. But maybe not. It depends on how much JK and JPJ are willing to divulge.
I'm game. Let's just do it. My freewrites often are snippets of a longer untold story. I used to host wewrite contests with those, but contests proved to be a bit too much work, for too little return, for me. The continuations were cool to read though, how people go into radically different worlds was very interesting.
Agreed, we should just do it. We need to rope in a few more participants, tho. Any ideas?
check out the continuation I just wrote per request (begged for actually) by @buckaroobaby. It's mostly a wrapped up story at this point. You've rejoined us at an especially good time, freewritehouse is hopping! Perhaps @deirdyweirdy, @trucklife-family, @riverflows, @felt.buzz, @carolkean, @itsostylish, @deeanndmathews would be interested. How does it work? Does the first author tag someone to finish it, or do we just see who responds? Do the subsequent stories have to be freewrites?
Where neither of them was happy?!! Noooooo. Make it end differently!!! Pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaase
Where neither of them was happy.
It wasn't so much about them being in Bodunk. It wasn't even so much about the scratch feed. It was about the pollen, specifically Linden tree pollen.
You see, she hated honey! She was convinced that even the tiniest amount of honey would make her feel nauseous. Whenever the Lindens bloomed, she was miserable - sneezing, hacking, effusing (is that a word?), crying, and congested.
He, however, loved honey, specifically Linden honey. He got bees so he could have Linden honey, which was hard to find, delicious, and especially good at controlling his pollen allergies.
One night in June, while he was snug in bed, sound asleep, she had a sneezing attack. She sneezed 43 times in a row! He said "just try my honey honey."
That was it. She hated honey so much she also hated being called honey. Outside she went with a baseball bat, and smashed his hive.
You can imagine the end of the marriage came soon after that.
They separated. She moved to the center of Bodunk,where there were no Linden trees, and was instantly cured of her allergies.
He remained in their home, with the chickens, who could now have all the scratch they wanted, started up his hive again.
Once the divorce was final, they lived happily ever after.
How is that @buckaroobaby? Nice to see you around these parts again. I go to your page often to see what's up with you. How have you been?
Yay! All's well that ends well 😁
🤣🤣🤣 Brilliant! How did you come up with this so fast? I love your unique style of writing. It is really so different - at least to me. Poor guy, I would choose his lifestyle, honey, any day 😎
Me too. He is me in this freewrite. This was really fun to freewrite. Thanks for "asking " me to do it.
Thanks for actually making the sequel. So fun
I will never understand how people find enjoyment in watching two animals fight, it does not matter if it is roosters or dogs, I believe it is wrong.
!ALIVE
@owasco! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @myjob. (3/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
A sad story, indeed! I love the chickens – are they yours? 🐔
They were, until a new neighbor saw that my coop was too close to a new building code and called the code enforcer. Needless to say, he and I did not become friends. I could have contested it on grandfather grounds (there had been chickens there for 40 years) but decided that, since I would be moving soon, it might be best to rehome them.
Aw, sorry to hear that! 😕 It must have been hard to say goodbye.
I'm still in denial.
I love how we have to read into the comments to find a happy ending ... this was all the way good!
Thanks for reading the comments! Let's see if we can get some wewrite business going on again. I always love your wrapups to my stories!
Oh, that made me chuckle! I had no idea where that tale was going next, and loved it.