The Hidden Talent of the Stupid Genius
I stared at Professor Shrimp Brain's face with a mixture of pity and amusement. The 45-year-old man with hair as messy as a bird's nest that had been hit by a hurricane was trying hard to solve the most complicated puzzle of his life: how to use the photocopier.
"Press the green button, Professor," I whispered in a tone as sweet as poison. "The big one, the one with the 'START' picture. The one I put a neon sticky note with an arrow and the words 'PRESS THIS FIRST, PROFESSOR' in capital letters last week."
Oh, how I loved my job as the personal assistant to the genius professor who somehow managed to graduate with a PhD in Quantum Physics but failed to operate a microwave. His real name was Dr. Satria Wicaksono, but the entire campus knew him better as "The Genius Who Was Left Behind at the Bus Stop" - a nickname he got after spending 6 hours waiting for a bus that had not been operating since 1998.
"Ah!" she exclaimed with a beaming face after successfully pressing the right button. "Look Mrs. Cynical, I did it!"
Yes, she called me Mrs. Cynical. I guess that was a fitting response to the nickname Professor Shrimp Brain that I gave her. My real name is Kinanti, but who cares about real names in this absurd world?
"Congratulations, Professor. Maybe next week we can start learning how to use a spoon?" I smiled sweetly, as sweet as the arsenic in Earl Grey tea.
But behind all the silliness, Professor Shrimp Brain was a true genius. He could explain string theory in his sleep (I know because he did it once), but needed help distinguishing between the power and volume buttons on the TV remote.
"Mrs. Cynical," he called one day, "why do you think the atoms don't disperse? I mean, with all those repulsive forces, they should have run helter-skelter like college students when their assignments are due?"
I took a deep breath. "Because they don't have legs, Professor. And also because the nuclear binding force is strong."
"Ah! That's right!" His eyes lit up like a child who's been given candy. "But what about... oh, wait a minute." He stopped talking and started tapping his head with his pen.
"Is there a problem, Professor?"
"Well... I forgot how to use this pen."
And so my day with the professor went on. Every day was a mix of quantum entanglement discussions and shoelace tutorials. Sometimes I wondered if this was some kind of cosmic joke - a genius who could solve the mysteries of the universe but couldn't solve the mystery of how to use a washing machine.
"Prof," I said one day, "how is it that your brain can hold all those physics theories but can't remember your ATM pin?"
He smiled broadly, the kind of smile that made me wonder if he really understood my question or was imagining quantum tunneling.
"You know Mrs. Cynical, the human brain is like a hard disk. One is prioritized for storing important data, and the other is... well, for trivial things like remembering where to put your glasses."
"That's the one you're wearing, Professor."
"Oh! No wonder the world is so clear!"
Sometimes I wonder, maybe genius and stupidity are two sides of the same coin. Or maybe the universe has a strange sense of humor. One thing is for sure, there's no such thing as a dull moment working with Professor Shrimp Brain - the genius who can explain Schrödinger's paradox but is confused about opening a bottle of mineral water.
And yes, he still waits for that non-operational bus every Friday.
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excelente, el sarcasmo lo entienden hasta los idiotas