All I can say it keep fighting. I'm certain it is truly difficult and as you know its no all "just in your head". I'd also recommend trying not to feel guilty or ashamed. If you are doing the best with what you have there is no guilt of shame in that..if your mind if playing tricks on you that's not your fault...unless your not trying to get better.
Thanks for the reply 😀 ... and thanks for your hard work in the Actifit community 😉