As @edicted often mentions about "unit bias", the New Year is just around the corner and that means it is the perfectly arbitrary time to reflect on the year that has been, and look toward what is possible for the year to come. Anytime is a perfectly arbitrary time to do this, but the end of the year is when most do.
2022
It has been a "busy" one - the first after the weirdness of 2021 where I unexpectedly had a stroke. That year was quite different, as it was about recovery and there was a kind of lull in life where I wasn't really expected to do that much. This year however, that wasn't the case at all, as once the year changed, I also started in a new role and the expectation on my performance skyrocketed, as if the change in year suddenly healed my brain and I was able to perform at 100 percent. After all, it was "a year ago" that it had happened in most people's minds.
Unit bias doesn't care for nuance.
But as a result, pretty much the entire year has been quite stressful, as the workload has been high, the expectation on performance delivery has been high and, I still am not able to perform anywhere near where I could, which puts additional pressure on me from externally, as well as internally. As I have mentioned, every minute of the day I am painfully aware of the degradation in my own performance and, I see it in the reactions of those around me too.
But, if there is anything good to come out of 2022, it is that I now have some proof and experience that with a lot of work, I am able to perform "adequately enough" that I can hold a position like this. The additional workload required is pretty extreme, but if the option is to take a simpler role with less responsibility and stuff that interests me, for now at least - I am willing to put in the work.
The other thing that I have learned is that I do have limits on what I am capable of doing and there is a line where it is "too much" - in the past, I never came close to touching that line, but now I can see it not too far into the distance. I don't plan on crossing it, but at the same time, it is a balancing act between being able to do the things that I think are valuable and, not pushing myself to breaking in order to do so and get kicked back to lesser work anyway.
And of course, all of this centers around the family too, which has been heavily affected by my health and personality changes, whilst still facing their own challenges and that of us together on top. No event lives in a vacuum in this life and when one thing changes, everything is affected - sometimes for better, often for worse and then, all the compounded consequences that are triggered along the way. The hope always is that the future is going to be better than the past, but in my own experience, that is rarely the case, or at least, it is not "universally better", there are a whole range of things that will degrade too.
2023
Like everyone, I want what is best for my family and I am hoping that the constant and varied testing will ease a little and be replaced by some upside instead. I don't actually have a lot of belief that this will eventuate in 2023, but even a glimpse of better might be enough to give the energy to keep grinding away toward it. A year of decent average family health would be nice, but that hasn't been the case for a decade.
In regards to work, I am hoping for a bit more stability, where I don't have to perform at the edge of my own ability in order to gain, as driving on that edge means increasing the chances of slipping too far wide and touching that line that shouldn't be crossed. I don't think I earn enough to have to push to that edge, even under normal mental conditions, let alone in my current state, so I will improve my personal strategies in order to better manage my workload, or increase the reward for approaching the edge.
It'd have to be good.
In this vein, personal health is likely to take more focus this year, especially my physical condition, as at least for me, there is a strong correlation between how my body feels and how I emotionally feel. Everything is worse when my condition isn't good enough and it affects my moods.
Mental health is also going to get a workout for the first time directly, as it hasn't been much of an issue for me in the past. However, with the changes in my mentality, my various limits have shifted and I am far more prone to certain conditions, like irritability, depression and anger, which is also exacerbated by the decrease in my patience and willpower.
It is pretty annoying that unlike superhero movies where bad things happen with superpower consequences, no "potential good" has come out of having a stroke. It has all been negative, both for me and those who have to interact with me. It would have been nice to get some benefit, like being able to easily learn languages, increased mathematical ability or of course, a larger penis.
It's all in the head.
While these things I have mentioned are personal, so much of the potential of our lives depends on things outside of our control, like the greater economy that affects everything in our lives, including the ability to adequately provide for our families. While I can work well and do a good job, it doesn't mean the company is going to be able to keep me employed, as it is also affected by things outside of its control too, and losing work obviously puts a great deal of pressure on being able to provide.
The new year is unlikely to be a great financial year for me and many others, even though there will likely be opportunity for those with the means. Currently at least, I don't have the means and the horizon doesn't have "more means" on it, rather the opposite is shaping up for 2023.
Year in, year out
Even though we like to look at things on a yearly basis, the lines of life don't care much for the date, things just happen. Though, perhaps because we are all largely affected by the various time units we apply, people might align behaviors and cause there to be various patterns in experience. For example, come January, the gyms are going to be full again of all the people like myself who feel they haven't exercised enough and think it is time to get into shape, but by mid-February, the regression to the mean will see the same people who have been consistently going year in and year out, regardless of the season, month or year.
The #1 goal
But, the number one goal for me in 2023 is to be better for my family. In my opinion, what family should really focus on is helping each other be the best version of themselves and encourage and motivate to keep growing, keep getting better. In order to do this, one has to also be willing to take that journey too, and receive the feedback and criticism fairly - no matter how hard it might be to hear, or what it might be about. I am not great at either looking after myself, or taking the feedback (even positive) from those around me, so I have to again develop some better personal strategies to improve in these areas.
Looking back and looking forward is useful to know what is required right now. Living "the moment" is fine, but if there is no direction, that moment can degrade very quickly so that every moment is filled with continual suffering, with less and less opportunity to find a way out. Spending some time reflecting and planning however, can help us build clarity for our next move and then, pay attention to what we are doing and whether it is moving us closer to where we want to be, or further away.
I don't know how many truly take the time to reflect and plan, but I think of more people did, the world would be a better place, rather than the reactive society we have created, where emotional outbursts to irrelevant stimuli, are the norm.
Acceptance of who we are is great - but not if it means we don't attempt to improve.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
In 2021, I made a big mistake by not buying 2 cryptopunks for 8 ETH. In 2022, I didn't sell 20k HIVE for 20k HBD to put in the HBD safe. Otherwise, everything is fine, I work like most, for little money.
I made the same errors with Hive :D
Not quite that arbitrary, once that arbitrary unit bias has been introduced into stuff like financial statements, accounting, etc. The imaginary lines have produced some real lines in the sand(s of time). For instance, if I were aiming to reduce taxes to the maximum, it would be a good idea to buy new photo equipment for my one-dude company tomorrow or the day after. Since I have no plan on what to do with it, though, I am, again, missing that deadline.
It is a good time to remember that I keep kicking the can of having to plan stuff down the road. Leaking some extra expenses because of that. But no free mind capacity to alocate to these matters, not this end of the year.
...
What I feel cannot be postponed is taking health to a top priority. Ten to fifteen kilos is slightly overweight but it is overweight and thinking I am still young and I still have time to adjust to a good diet that I certainly know I would need in my old age...can you believe the stuff coming out of this brain?
Yes, our behaviors start to align, regardless of whether it is necessary or not. For example, "end of financial year" affects many things, but it changes depending on country. Something like Spring signals planting time, which is necessary, making it a "natural" timeline.
Are you looking through my windows? :D
The younger it is lost, the easier it is to keep it off.
Thank you for sharing about your struggles since having experiencing a stroke. It reminds me of the saying that I don't remember to quote directly but I'm sure you know and sounds something like:
"Don't judge the other as you never know what silent struggles they may be facing."
It reminds me to be humble, as your brother would say, and be compassionate on the occasions when I
mightdo forget.I used to think that if I didn't beat up on myself, if I actually accepted myself as I am then I've lose all drive to grow. I have come to realise just how much of a lie this is. Where we learned this lie I do not know, but it appears to be a widespread belief and very far from the truth.
I like, love and accept so many more parts of myself than ever before and still I am driven to grow. I see the same in my friends and colleagues who do similar work to me. The drive for growth simply comes from a healthier place, a more sustainable place.
You've said you want to learn how to look after yourself better as well as learn how to take feedback next year. I'm curious Taraz, how do you plan to do that?
(Please hear my tone of voice as one of genuine curiosity rather than one of challenging. I have watched you express yourself on here for much of my time on Hive and view you as a clever man who thinks a lot and attempts to be logical and thoughtful in his problem solving. So I'd love to know how you're going to go about doing these things that I can only image have eluded you until now).
C.
I have been thinking a lot about this over the last year or so and how common it is for everyone to do. It is judging both their failures and successes, without knowing what has led into either side.
Physically, go to the gym and eat better - it is pretty simple, just gotta find a way to actually do it again. I have a mouth full of sweet teeth. Habits take time to build, and bad habits are easy to hold.
Mentally, going to talk to some people about various things that could help. This will help with the emotional state also. There are fundamental differences in the way my brain works now and I probably need more help developing strategies that will work for the "new" me, as after almost half a century, what I have always known is largely irrelevant.
🙏🙌 Sounds like a plan. Or several.
I think why people fail to be consistent all year long is that they see change (say exercising more) to be another item on their bucket list instead of a lifelong journey, more so a lifestyle. It's easy to fall prey to the "New Year's Resolution" without achieving any of it when we fail to internalize why we're even doing it in the first place. Change is not a one-time thing; we constantly evolve for the better day in, day out!
All the best in the year to come @tarazkp! 💪
THis is the thing about behaviors - they are easy to change in the short-term, but hard to maintain - especially the good ones. The bad ones are easy to keep consistent! :D
No doubt faimly should be over number one priority, we should spend quality time with family, it's becoming difficult day by day to allocate time to friends and family because of busy life style
I often question what "quality time" is. For example, many seem to think that sitting watching TV together is quality time, yet during that time, they don't talk and after watching, they don't really discuss.
Sr. We should stay thankful for all the blessings we have already
It's still OK if your are watching TV together, their are so many people living away from their families like overseas employees and workers
Another thing is it's still OK if you are watching TV together but that's not good if one person is watching TV and another is writing an article for posting on hive 😉 smart phone is a addiction, people keep using it every where, anytime and don't even think we are with them, its is disrespect for someone if you are busy on your smart phone while in his presence
New year came to us with positive vibes and new hopes. I hope that you will be able to perform very well in upcoming year.
Just be positive and others thing will be good.
Best of luck for the upcoming year.🥰
Do you have any plans?
My plan is quite simple. As a student, the first thing is to concentrate on my study and finish my graduation.
I will try to make at least one tour each month.
I will try to make my portfolio larger little by little.
Currently, no other plans coming to my mind. 😅
what kind of tour?
Visiting different kinds of adventurous and beautiful places in our country such as the hills, and sea beach where I haven't visited yet.
2022 has been a tough year for us due to the hyperinflation (still exists) and I don't think that 2023 will be any different. We have election probably in June and a big uncertainity waiting for us.
Will it be an election or will it be an "election" in Turkey?
I hope democracy will win.
I've always found your writing inspiring. I'm sorry to hear that happened a year ago, and that I was too distracted by my own family health crises to know about this earlier.
Some advice that I have not achieved the past few years, but that I know is important: only schedule/commit up to 80% of your capacity. You'll need the reserves for when things don't go as planned (which is often!)
My challenge has been knowing what that capacity is (and for that matter, being really clear on what I'm committed to.) That's what I'm working on this year.
Happy New Year!
Tell me about it!! :D
THis is something that I used to know in myself, but no longer have a sense for where that edge is. My memory remembers the old me, but doesn't know the new. Good luck this coming year of getting on track :)
People need a reset periodically to let go of burdens and failures in hoping for a brighter tomorrow. Crossing the year is a convenient point in time to reset everything.
I sometimes wonder if I should try one of those silent retreat things - just sit with myself for a week, thoughtlessly.
My dog died this year. I hope that 2023 will be better for us all.
:/
Dogs are hard to lose. I had a dream of the one that dies two years ago the other night and when I woke up, I felt the missing. It was one of those rare dreams I have, which made it somehow harder.
Take care of yourself. Without health, you can’t take care of your family. Work comes after health, family and happiness.
Sometimes I wonder about the order, at least in some places in the world. In Finland, there is room for health to have some priority though and I should make it mine.
Thank you for sharing what you think about how important moderation is and how overindulging or doing certain things too much can have bad effects. It is true that moderation is usually good and can help keep things in balance and prevent bad things from happening. However, it is important to recognize that this principle is not absolute and that there may be some things that are not beneficial or healthy in any amount. It is also good to consider that different individuals may have different needs and tolerances, and what may be moderate for one person may not be moderate for another. Also important is recognizing the signs of addiction early and seeking help if necessary. It is never too late to make positive changes in your life and improve your overall well-being. People can get help from a lot of different places to get over their addictions and find a healthy balance in their lives. It is important to remember that seeking help is a brave and important step towards improving your health and well-being.
Poison? What kinds of things do you think?
Small steps taken one at a time will get you there stronger rather than a fast rush that eill have you weak.
Look at the step and not the staircase. That often helps in achieving those small needed steps.
Your here and you're still conquering my man! Respect to that.
2023 is going to be great, well atleast I have a feeling it might be very great for me
Every year comes with the new hope but goals are same. Every year even every minute gives us a new lesson and teachs us how to handle. Everything will remain same there is no change in your life except the figure "2022" to "2023".
Seems you are @djbravo
Not really
No wonder @slobberchops called you out. Now that I have had a dig too, I will do the same.
Just all a coincidence then I guess.
There are more "coincidences" too.
We get these guys all the time, they come and they go, only to be replaced by more.
Was looking at the transactions of a few related, all very similar.
So just a bit then? You are or you are not.., there's no halfway house.
Absolutely I am not
It's not up for debate, you can see the evidence presented to you. People don't delegate free funds to strangers.
You can also verify me on a video call we are not same
Hi tarazkp. Its not me. @tarazkp.
I don't believe you:
We are cousins.
Not much in life changes, until we wake up one day and ask where life has disappeared to.
Deep
Some how i motivate myself to have a new beging that is associated with a new year vibes, i do accept to get set the desires fulfilled isn't possible but gratitude is still healthy and alived to rock - tomorrow!
Ready to make 2023 Wonderful💯
Best of luck. I hope you are able to make meaningful progress in the coming cycle.
I did not have a stroke. However, my body is starting to protest its use and abuse over so many years. I have come to realize how health problems will tend to cascade when left unaddressed. As I am still not yet 50, I recognize the need to focus my efforts to improve my condition. Self maintenance is going to become a part-time job.
In some ways, a lot of what we do to ourselves is like a slow suicide :D
I'm glad how you battled to survive the stroke.
Bless up for next year 2023
I wish you the best of strength in reaching your personal goals for your family and your health. Go get it, Taraz!