In less than a month, my wife is turning one of those "round number" birthdays and I don't really know what I should get her, but I do have an idea that perhaps it is time that after almost 6 years, I complete the set of rings - where there is an engagement ring, weeding band (the small one pictured) and a similar one to commemorate the birth of our daughter. Yes - I should have done this a long time ago, but due to our daughter, I didn't have any spare money for such a useless artefact.
I don't have much more now, but if I don't do it soon, I never will.
Unfortunately, I cocked-up buying her engagement ring, which I designed and had made custom for her, because I chose to do it in platinum - which adds a fair amount to the price. Back then however, I was young, dumb and full of income, as there were far fewer financial obligations and I made the decision that since she doesn't wear gold jewellery, she would have better. My ring (the larger one pictured) is palladium, because when it comes to myself - I don't care.
In my city however, there aren't that many places that make rings and even fewer that will do it in platinum, as it is apparently harder to work with in comparison to gold, which adds price as for a decent result, it requires an experienced jeweller. Not only that, unlike gold, it can't be melted down and reused, so leftovers have to be collected and sent away for refining, adding more cost again. This means that in comparison to yellow gold, platinum is almost double the price.
Is it worth it?
That is a simple question to answer.
No. It is not.
The value of the ring is so low in stone and metal, but due to the work and the "sentiment" surrounding them, the markup is very high. However, that sentimental value is also why my wife will wear the ring and look after them and hopefully, she will have them for a long time to come and pass them to our daughter later. Again, the "street value" won't be much, but it is nice to have something that is passed down through the generations a bit.
For example, the diamond in the engagement ring has been taken out of one of my mother's rings. My sister inherited them, but was kind enough to donate one to me that I could have reset into the platinum ring. This is a tiny detail, but it makes for a story, so there is "value-added sentimentality" on top of it being an engagement ring. I think this means that with compounding, there is a sentiment multiplier effect in play, making it far more valuable again - not that anyone buying it would care though. This is the thing with sentiment, it is a supply and demand mechanism that increases price when present, or reduces when not.
So, this is the plan - and while it isn't a very good birthday present, it will also coincide "close enough" with the day I asked for her hand, which was on the 1st of May. I think this works. Of course and unfortunately, I cannot surprise her with this, as she will have to have it fitted, since there is effectively no way for me to accurately size the ring for a different part of her finger - so she already knows. But, I do think that at least this will be something she will keep long-term, unlike some of the presents that I have bought for her, which tend not to be "forever" kinds of gifts.
And, because it is one of those things, I think it isn't as bad spending some extra money on it so it matches well, and feels like quality. The engagement ring I had made was expensive AF, but the jeweller was not that great, meaning that the result wasn't as polished as I had hoped - but it took two months to order and I got it a couple days before I proposed, so there was nothing to be done. I have offered my wife to have it redone, but she is happy with it - I guess because Finns are generally not very jewellery savvy, so they end up appreciating crap - in my opinion.
Now, the only problem is to find a jeweller (and the money) to get it done and hope they can do it within the next month, otherwise it is not going to be on time and, that will mean getting something else instead, as she has to have something on the day for such an occasion, if only so when people ask, she doesn't have to get those sorry looks from her friends for having such a useless husband.
So far - none of the potential jewellers are open on Saturday.
Brilliant....
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
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She got the smaller ring purely for tending the garden? You are really nice!
Honestly, I think the lack of the surprise due to the logistics is totally fine. Surprise is lovely, but the thoughtfulness of the gift and the pleasure she'll get out of it is worth way more than the very fleeting moment of surprise.
Hahaha, I too am absolutely motivated by providing for an appropriate answer for when people ask... which of course they will.
She doesn't care about the glam for the most part, but I know she has been wanting this for a while - and I haven't found the right time. This'll do!
It annoys me a bit - because I am also the person who buys a lot of surprise stuff at random times - but, this has no value come birthday/christmas anniversary.... :D
Hahahaha, it does not. "He forgot, but he does lots of nice things for me" just sounds like someone is making excuses for her dodgy husbo.
Congrats on the wedding anniversary! If you can make it through Covid you're looking pretty solid! I'm still disappointed you didn't bite and my sledge against your spelling of wedding.
Exactly...
"I ran into a door"
lol - I thought you were crazy... now I understand!!! :D
I have typing issues, it is really common for me to do that these days and then, miss that I have done it - even in proofing. But hey... you get what you are given ;P
Hahaha, yeah, I know, and I'm sure that's super, super, super frustrating... I usually don't comment on errors because it's just not important... as long as your message is communicated effectively through context who cares? But sometimes it's too delightful to not joke about. My wife would be so thrilled if she got a ring for weeding. I'd be the best dude in the world.
If a "full set" involves rings to commemorate births of children that's a ridiculous amount of rings for some people XD
unless only the firstborn counts, poor subsequent kids XD
Though having said that even the wedding bands was one too many for me, both of us have lost ours (and are really dirty about it). The bands have hopefully ended up together somewhere somehow. I'm going to get a tattoo done instead, I just haven't finished designing it yet partly due to lack of time and mostly because the thought of the price is scary.
I feel like I might be the only person who doesn't think there "needs" to be "something to open on the day" (whether it's a birthday or Christmas) XD
Good luck, did you manage to find a jeweller?
Well, for us it is the ring - as planned - but there is a tradition of diamond jewellery for each child :)
You lost them? :D I would be in trouble if I lost mine, I would be upset if she lost hers... though they are small enough to go down the sink.
Nah, I don't care either - for myself :)
Not yet. but they are all only open weekdays it seems, which is a challenge...
Yep, I lost mine after two years (which was a record for me), I don't even know when it slipped off, I had it while gallivanting around, pretty sure I had it on the bus home but not 100%, and then I got home and didn't have it.
J had a few near misses (his slipped off at the beach a few times) but in the end it came off when he was gardening of all things and he couldn't find it.
Guess you'll have to take a sickie or a long lunch :)
Oh I can relate.
Alas, who says that social and cultural traditions are ignored by men? too many I'm afraid, but the truth is many men fret over these occaisions, wanting our wives to be happy and proud. Happy we remembered and proud of our gift. And alas relieved of the social pressure to defend her man, who forgot or remember but messed up with the gift. No pressure at all. Carry on, I feel your stress, it's not pain, but stressful. I love my wife dearly, but these birthday and anniversery pressures are things I could do with out LOL
My wife has one of those -0 birthdays next year. I am still trying to figure out this year amidst covid.
I know she wants something special next year, which almost gives me a get out of jail free card for this year...
... but its going to be two years since we could celebrate with friends, so I feel the need to celebrate with friends... especially since the wife was more social then me, but covid has made her reclusive...
... so I feel compelled to get her out of the house... our government says its safe... and I think sure, I believe you, and the check is in the mail...
:)
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I think it would be easier to say - here is my card - go and get something nice for yourself - but there is also no fun in that! :D The pressure is part of the value :)
My wife doesn't want a party - but I was hoping her friends (all turning the same this year) would organize a big event like they did a decade ago :)
Yes, it’s true, gift cards or birthday cards with cash are always acceptable. But the pressure, effort or love you put into a gift, like a post, creates value. 😊
And a group party would be great, it takes the pressure off too LOL
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The timing sounds good and yes it is a thought out place. Perhaps the element of surprise will not be there, but the sentiment of the heart means more. Best to you.
I think there is sentiment points for this :)
I don't like such beautiful days to be valued by material things. If I want to buy something, I should be able to buy any time, not on a certain date, e.g. 24 Feb :)
And you seem not %100 ready buy that ring, but you feel uncomfortable. Is it a must? Not for me.
I am comfortable buying the ring and stuff, but I might have left it too late to get it done in time :)
It is very nice to give precious things such as gold and a ring, I like it too, but for me I focus on simple things that belong to my friend, I celebrate and support him, I paint for him a beautiful painting that expresses my love for him, going out together. Sometimes we go to great lengths to find keys of people's hearts while they are inside of us
Food is generally a good way to a heart - through the stomach :)
Normally, I don't give these kinds of things as gifts, we do more basic and useful stuff - but this is meant to both be worn and last a lifetime.
Good luck finding a right jeweller.
The title of this post is a bit funny. Right now I am trying to sell golden Djinn Muirat. I thought that it would sell fast but no one bought it since yesterday. Makes me wonder if it is precious enough or too precious😜
Maybe too precious for you :D What does one of those go for now?
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It is a good card, i use it a fair bit - but I need 4 of them :)
It seems that the photo shows ordinary shiny knick-knacks, but how much work, sweat and blood go into acquiring them...
exactly - and I think that is what is valued in many respects - it isn't the value of the thing, it is the value of what it took to get them. Very astute!
I’m glad I went with white gold for mine lol platinum is brutal! I need to step up my game for presents, I don’t do the best job for them but I do like to procrastinate lol maybe I can change that by the round number coming up, though thankfully it’s not this year!
We have some sentimental things from our family members that have passed and we are trying to figure out what to do with them. I enjoy the thought of passing stuff down! The necklace I’m wearing was given to me from my grandfather so I’m hoping that I can give it to our son when he’s old enough. Unless by that time “we own nothing and are happy” comes about.
It is a tough decision what to buy for a wife on her birthday. The value of the gift does not depend solely on its market price. I am sure that your wife appreciates the effort that you put in and that is pricless.