I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. There would never be an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out of Order’ sign, only ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs’.” – Mitch Hedberg
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finally, i feel it's a happy hour when i leave the work🤣
just thread don't do anyother thing
Just got home, time to relax
Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.” – David Letterman
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” – Steve Martin
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis
I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably s***.” – Stephen K. Amos
“I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. There would never be an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out of Order’ sign, only ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs’.” – Mitch Hedberg
We weren’t very religious. On Hanukkah, my mother had our menorah on a dimmer.” – Richard Lewis
My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.” – Phil Wang
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I will