I rise around 0500 six out of seven mornings and am awake before my girl-person. I tip-toe around the house feeling my way in the dark ensuring I'm as quiet as can be so as not to wake her and get myself prepared for a run and some exercising. I arrive home around 0630 or so, have a shower and get dressed and around 0700 flick the kettle on and start thinking about breakfast and coffee; that's about when my girl begins to stir and before long she's out of bed and beginning her day.
It's not much fun, I mean when compared to staying in bed and sleeping in, or cuddling or...whatever.
We fell into the routine some time ago when I decided I wanted to lean on my physical fitness and overall health and wellbeing and in order to fit it all into my day, I've got to be up before sunrise and into it. I don't mind, the results are solid and pushing into the day in this way means I'm more alert and ready to slay it, figuratively speaking of course. But I miss laying in bed, cuddling and...whatever.
We tend to lay in on Sundays, but it isn't the most epic of sleep-ins that ever was; come 0800 we're awake. The cuddling and whatever is good though, so no complaints there.
We are hard working people, we've had to be to push forward in life, and focus on presence in the obligations we have, being present I mean, and seeing things done well and as best we are able. However we know when to stop and rest, to find moments of peace, solitude, fun and enjoyment and to relax.
We also actively work on finding time to be present for each other, to say a kind word, touch physically and emotionally and to be kind, giving and tender with the other. We believe it to be important to connect in that way often, far more important than the once-a-year concept of Valentines day or a birthday that's for sure. Anyway, in light of my early-up situation six days a week I decided to implement: Mission breakfast in bed on Sunday's.
I'm going to be totally honest and say it's not a full breakfast in bed scenario with bacon and eggs, grilled chorizo, toast, sauteed mushrooms, grilled tomato, wilted baby spinach, hash brown, orange juice and coffee...just cereal or toast, a bagel or crumpet with marmalade or Vegemite and tea or coffee. I don't get any complaints though.
I wake up and cuddle a bit...and whatever, then off I go to prepare breakfast bringing it back into bed where we sit up and eat, chat and sip tea or coffee. We talk about what's coming up for the day and holidays, gardening, drives in the country, picnics, places we've been and want to go, things we've done in the past and things we'd like to do. We don't talk about work, the household budget, general problems or anything that isn't light and happy. It's our time to connect and to show each other a little tenderness of heart.
This small moment, thirty minutes or so, is a little moment I created to add a layer to the Sunday sleep-in and to do something nice for my girl-person who works hard and has much on her mind all the time. It's the least I could do to give her that moment of care, attention and peace and she loves it, especially so because part of the tender moment is me cleaning up afterwards, doing the dishes and all. It's amazing the effect that one simple task has on a woman when we do it fellas. Trust me, give it a try.
I wonder if others do such things for the people they care about. Do you?
How do you go about showing a little tenderness and care for your partner? Are they small things like mine above, do you focus on creating the smaller moments more often or opt to hold out for one event such as Valentines day? Maybe you're the one being shown the tenderness and if so in what ways does your partner do so? Feel free to comment below if you feel inclined.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default; tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind - galenkp
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Any images in this post are my own.
Nice gesture. It really is the small things that count. With a little kid in the mix, both me and the man slave are pretty beat. So randomly some small gesture would happen that would make the other feel appreciate.
It's a small thing that means a great deal and there's many other ways to do it. A note in the lunch pack or on the fridge when the other comes home, a kind word, just asking after the other. We all get so caught up in life that sometimes we forget to do such things and it's often those closest to us that get left out.
I can imagine you have your hands full. I don't have any kids so it's easier for me, but I understand (can imagine) what it's like with little ones.
Lolled at man slave. I'm one of those too. Don't mind though.
Lol my man slave but I guess I'm a bit of a slave as well. Little joke goes back to when we were dating and I didn't want to put a label on it lol. But yeah kids take time and I only have one. She is both the best and most frustrating thing I have done. I miss the days pre kid though, just for the freedom and time. Life was simpler. I was a little running machine. For me at least. Would prob be normal pace for you!
Awwwn... Hehe, this is beautiful. Every word sends a loving chill down one's spine. And I do believe the action toward breakfast is amazing even if it is just water.
Also, the heartwarming talk is a bonus to make the day awesome.
It is nice connecting with people on that level.
I'm bloody spectacular huh? Lol.
I have to have moments of brilliance to account for all those time I fuck up and do stupid things. The good (sometimes) outweighs the bad. 😁
😅 I literally live for the beautiful comments and epic replies😁.
This had me laughing hysterically on the street.
I agree entirely on the scale of good out waying the bad.
One must cause others to laugh sometimes, even if it's at one's own expense. It shows character. I'm pleased you got a laugh out of the comment.
Not just character, it's an endearing trait. Most times what makes for good laughs is when you least expect it especially if that individual could be strict, overtly intelligent and or a mystery.
Well said.
Hehe, you were 😁😁...
Well, it is nice you are having those times of brilliance. The good outweighs the bad.
😅 I literally live for the beautiful comments and epic replies😁.
This had me laughing hysterically on the street.
I agree entirely on the scale of good out waying the bad.
It is those little pieces of niceness that really count. You do it because you want to, not have to and that makes it all the sweeter.
It is that connection that brings you closer or keeps you close. I love the little niceties, they really show a person cares... especially when they remember something small and seemingly unimportant, but, the fact is, to remember something small means a lot.
I am not explaining myself well, but, well done, my friend. You are a keeper. :)
Yeah, that's right the have to/want to thing I mean; it's so much better wanting to do these things and that makes it more real, more believable and valuable.
This is so true. Remembering something that may seem insignificant, a small thing, shows one has taken the time to commit that thing to memory, to value it enough to retain the information. I like it when that happens to me and so I think it's good to pay that forward.
You explained yourself well Swigs. I hope you also have a great weekend when it arrives.
Nice gesture, my friend! I firmly believe that small acts are crucial and make a difference. I don't disregard holidays like Valentine's Day, but I never wait for occasions to show a sweet gesture to my beloved Reny.
It's a great habit to wake up early, as you know, I do it too. My breakfasts, for now, are poor and low in calories... Today, for example, I had a glass of rice drink and two slices of biscuits with a bit of orange marmalade. The saddest part of it all... no Vegemite!😭
We don't do Valentine's Day stuff, the day goes by unremarkably other than anything we might have usually done on the day of the week. It's a meaningless day designed for commercial purposes and we prefer to be more connected though daily acts and thoughts. That's not to say it's not a valid day for some. I know people who use Valentine's Day as their only romantic gesture all year. (Not my style, but that's how it goes for some.)
No Vegemite huh? That's not good. Hopefully the process is having an effect though, that's what really counts.
I agree that every day is a good day to dedicate to love; I believe that many small gestures are worth more than one big gesture, even if it's done in a single day.
Yes, going without Vegemite is a big sacrifice, but it's bearing fruit—I've already lost 4 kilograms!💪💪💪
That's a good result and will probably motivate you to keep pushing forward.
When I was able to I used to do something like this for my wife on occasion. Not every week like you though, but enough to show her she was still special. However, it is something that I need to get back to doing more of. It is something I have let fall to way.
I do try to do small things when I can. Just doing her "honey-do" list makes her happy. Honestly I am the one usually being shown the tenderness most times during our marriage. However after 30 plus years of marriage, we probably take each other for granted more than we should sometimes.
My youngest is getting ready to begin Univesity and in a couple years we will probably be empty nesters, so not sure what tht will lead to, but hoping we can rekindle some of that pre-child days type behavior again too.
Doing things like this have benefit to the one receiving and the one giving the moment and if done regularly helps build momentum to create the sort of actions that create an even better feeling between a couple.
For sure, this happens...but seeing it means people have the chance to rectify it...I think it just takes one to make the first step or even open discussions around it.
Yep, we discuss taking each other for granted and talk about what we are going to start doing more of to rectify it when the youngest leaves the house, like traveling more together and other stuff. In the mean time we have been doing smaller things a little at a time. She has been a homemaker most of our marriage, so I try to occasionally do homemaker duties to relieve her of those. I fail abismally though to pass her standards most times though 😀. Our biggest joy together right now comes from working in the yard and flowers and going to my group meetings as she gets to sit and chat with others couples as well.
Abysmal failure in household chores is acceptable, it's the failure to attempt them that is not. You're on the right track if you're giving it a go and I think your wife would agree. Secret: I fucked up the clothes washing so badly one time that I've been banned from doing it. I made up for it in other ways and with other chores and the upside is I don't need to do the laundry anymore.
Build on that, it's a solid start. Remember being a Marine? (I know you do.) You did difficult shit and leaned into it right? This is more important. You know?
Yep,don;t get me wrong. we are still in love and absolute best friends. Just over the years with kids and all we lost our "umph" to enjoy life together as a couple. It became more about the kids than anything. We kind of put each other on the back burner. Now it is time to make us first again.
Dude, I am in the same boat with you on the laundry. I am not allowed to touch it with a 10 foot pole.
I get it man. I mean, I don't have kids so don't fully understand through lack of experience, but I'm not an idiot and so can imagine the complexities of raising kids and retaining the spark or whatever one wants to call it. You'll get there mate.
Lol...See? We can do something right! (Weasel our way out of doing the laundry!)
What a nice touch for your partner and also the topic to talk about different topics at that moment. It is very important to take the time to do so.
In my case I am more the one who likes those details, to get up quietly without making any noise, but not only details in the morning but I like surprises during the day, it is always nice. I am very imaginative, so I always come up with new things.
What a beautiful picture, I love the jasmine!
Thank you @galenkp 😀
It doesn't take much effort to do something nice for one's partner although so many leave their best manners for other people for some reason. It's important to remember those we love and value the most and to ensure that they get and see the best of us. Small things offered genuinely often have momentous impact.
I totally agree, the little things, the simplest things have a great value.
Hug @galenkp 🤗
That was pure work of love.❤️
My love language is words of affirmation. I always see to it that everyday he knows how much he means to me. Even without occasion, I get used of sending him long messages, telling how I appreciate the things he does and his sacrifices and even give him love letters too, hand written one. And knowing how busy we are with our individual responsibilities at work and at home, we agree to always find time to be with each other even once a week.☺️
Indeed it was, and is and if it's felt I believe it should be shown; to do less doesn't seem right to me.
I think you have got yourselves on the right track for sure with those things you do and you probably have a much more solid relationships because of it. Well done to you guys for finding the time for each other.
I am kind of the same way. Especially in the summer. During the school year my wife and I both get up at 4 and work out before we head in to work. In the summer since I have to work but she doesn't, I still get up at 4, but I have to be a lot more quiet when I move around the house. Weekends we try to sleep in, but even then we are usually up by 7:30. We don't do a lot of the big holidays for each other, but we try to do small things every day. I think that whole line of thinking about "love languages" has a lot of merit and knowing how to speak your partners can be have even more impact than what some might assume is a grand romantic gesture.
You guys sound similar to us and I guess many others who have long busy weekdays.
I fully believe it's those small things that often mean the most as they can be done more often and the receiver has the chance to respond in kind, more often. As you say, knowing and understanding one's partner is the key and that's where communication comes into it. Grand gestures, well I do that too now and then, but it's the small things that we find mean the most and we work towards demonstrating how we feel to the other each day; good habits lead to a happier life I believe.
For sure. Communication is so important. My wife and I have realized over the years the majority of arguments we have always stem from lack of communication. Either that or miscommunication. I feel like I do a decent job, but I could do better at letting her know I appreciate her.
I think many are like that, the lack of communication (togetherness) spirals out of control and all of a sudden there's an argument about how the dish cloth is folded or that the cling wrap didn't get put in the drawer. It's bonkers. So, we need to communicate better, ok, let's do that.
Tell her tonight when she get's home. You'll not regret it.
You know, not long ago a truck driver was killed here, squashed between his own prime mover (big rig). and trailer because he didn't apply the brake properly and was behind the rig coupling up air hoses. When they interviewed his wife a couple days later she (in tears said), I didn't tell him I love him that morning before he left for work.
We never know when this may happen to us, an aneurism during the night, car wreck, heart attack or stroke...we're pretty fragile animals...So, *I think we need to make time count, say how we feel and let those we love and value know we appreciate them.
I'm guilty of walking out the door without saying the right words, going to sleep angry and so on...I'm human. But to have a focus on it and do it all a little better each day is something we can do to move forward a little better today than we did yesterday.
You make some really good points there. I am a bit of a softy, so most of that isn't very hard for me. My wife is a bit more stubborn when she wants to be :) We drive to work every morning, but when I drop her off we always say goodbye. When we drive separate we always say I love you. When she is off in the summer I always kiss her before I leave in the morning. You are right, life is too short and too full of unknowns.
I figured you're on the right track but also wanted to tell the truck driver story. I have others similar and it's those that I remember at those times I have done it wrong.
We can't beat ourselves up over it, humans I mean, we're fallible, but we can recognise it and make changes where required.
Anyway, thanks for the dialogue, I appreciate engagement as it makes what I do here more valuable, my time I mean. No commenting would see me gone from Hive in a shot.
Have a great day, evening now and I just got back from culling kangaroos on the cattle farm. A shower is needed, then bed as I'll be up at 5am.
No worries, it was a good story and always important to remember. Sounds like it was a heck of a day! Take it easy!
Wow.....this is rather nice and touching. Not like I thought you were incapable of things like this but it's nice that you at least have in mind to do little things like this for her, which is not so little because for women, the fact that you even wake her up with a smile is enough to set her heart ablaze.
You've done really wonderful Galen...
It's really difficult to know someone by a few words posted on the blockchain and with me especially as I don't put much of my life here, or open up much about who I am, or may be, what I do or have done, because it's private. I think that's how it should be. Still, sometimes I open up and say a few things about me, who I really am, and I don't mind it.
This little gesture is something I enjoy doing and it's well-received. I do much more, but it's not all for the blockchain, one neve knows who is snooping, pretending to be someone they're not, or just hiding in the shadows. You know?
Yeah, I don't exactly have to share everything and the few times I've shared personal things about my life or my experiences, there's this feeling of nakedness yunno like your sh*t is out there for everyone to see and judge and at that point you just promise not to try stuff like that again.
The Blockchain is nice but scary. Like you said, you don't know who's just waiting to snoop on something and...
But anyways, it still remains that you don't have to let us know everything you do but trust me, with this, I know you do a lot more for her and all. Sweet.
I think showing personality and a little reality is good and almost every post I write contains elements of me, the real me, and a lot has many things about me hidden in the text for those wo read carefully, but I rarely open up too much, it's just too dangerous.
My girl-person is very important to me and so I do a lot for her as she does in return. I don't know any other way to be so continue to be a caring, tender gentleman with the ability to protect her when needed, support her and stand beside her no matter what.
I enjoyed reading you, it is nice to make those details, no matter how small, worth gold, and make us immortal in the memory of our loved ones. I congratulate you for keeping that way of being so kind and cute with your loved ones @galenkp .🫣
We call them loved ones for a reason, I think it's worth treating them as such also.
Thanks for your comment.
Haha that's so sweet! Sometimes being simple and living in the moment is good enough.
I agree, but will change the word sometimes to all the time.
Hehe that's true!
Oh, that's nice.❤️
That's how it is, life is hard sometimes and if we let it sweep away everything we love, it's our responsibility to take charge and preserve those moments that cleanse our soul... and whatever, of course. hahahahaha🤣
I'm a take charge of life sort of man, I like to live it as best I can, be my best version and care for those I care about. This is one way that emerges, the Sunday morning thing...and whatever. Lol.
❤️❤️❤️
😂😅
😉
amazing! That would make the woman fall in love more. keep it up
That's the plan. I think it's working.
I think the small things do matter to our loved ones, and doing things that makes her happy strengthens your connection
I agree with you and work towards a stronger connection each day, to do less is inadequate.
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amazing
Prodigious.
good
I´m an early bird as well. Most of the times I make coffee although I switched to tea ind the morning and let her smell it...takes a couple of minutes and she´s out of bed :)
she does the same with cooking for me. it's a give and take
There's merits to give and take and I think it's exactly what makes a relationship strong; it's a two way street right?
oh definitely with lots of ups and downs. We´ve been through some tough shit over the years but reached a point were it is unthinkable that we will ever separate
Yep, that's a good place to be I think. Nice work.