I highly appreciate these observations on my writing! This is the best thing of the community! I think you are right, the scenario and the presentation of the subject could have been better and nicer to the reader. However, the starting parragraph I tried to create firsts strong lines to hook the spectator all over the text. The change of point of view I understand can be misleading, I'll recheck those linked posts you suggested me and hope to get better with practice. Thanks so much! 😁
!PIZZA