...
She sat on a jagged rock overhanging the crashing waves. She turned her face into the air and felt the sting of the salt on the wind. The sea was in her nostrils, its wild fragrance dancing in the air about her, forcing her to breathe it in.
You couldn’t ignore the sea, be indifferent to it, not ever. She grinned at her thoughts feeling the power on display below, captivating her mood of flagrant abandon.
She sat waiting for evening to transform the sky to a dazzling pink before releasing herself from her indulgence. She used to tell Grant, her husband, that her walks cleared her mind that she needed the time alone on the cliffs so that she could think. But she really enjoyed her visits to the shore because she could be closer to the spirit of her father. Closer to his understanding of things, things that she’d always found to be a step beyond her. His sense of freedom was so much like the sea that he’d adored so much.
She heard his voice echo in her head
“You’ll always know what’s right Jany, you’ll always be able to see the best path even if you don’t follow it, because I’ll always be with you.” She drew in a sharp breath at the memory. His voice was a clear, resonant baritone on the breeze.
She waited for the sky to give her its cue. Then, reluctantly, she folded herself away from her perch and headed down to the beach. The wind was almost gale force on the open sand and she turned into its blinding whip, forcing herself to push against it and make her way. Then she thought she heard a scream, she turned facing the direction of the sound, but saw nothing of note. She raised her eyes to the shifting dune above the beach. A tiny beach cottage was on fire, the raging wind fanning the flames to run rampant even as she watched.
She stood quite still, indecision cramping her thoughts. For a moment, just a moment, the beauty of the yellow edged flames mesmerised her into inactivity.
But then she was flying across the sand as if pulled by a magician’s hand.
She climbed the dune in a frenzied ramble. Instant, unwitting assessment of the flames focused her attention on the cottage’s left hand side, the side in the head of the wind.
Perilous questions raced unbidden across the canvas of her mind.
What if there was someone caught inside. Should she risk herself to check?
She peered through the window on the undamaged side of the wooden hut. Nothing.
Then she heard it again, a distinct scream.
She put her hands up to the glass and felt its warmth.
Fear and duty pulled at her heartstrings, but fear was winning outright and she felt herself turn away. Then the spectre of her father seemed to rise out of the dust at her feet; his presence, palpable in the shadow on the wall of the hut.
Jany pulled off her T-shirt and wrapped it around her mouth and nose. She found a weapon, easily, in the form of a rock. She launched the stone with all her might against the window. A massive cracking sound filled her space with a screech, she felt the air leave her lungs in one massive whoooof… Then she was spinning backwards, onto the sand.
She felt her skin prickle with a million shards of reality, her eyes refocused. A shadowy figure blocked out the moon, its glow framing the form in ethereal light.
“I saw you throw that rock through the window from the burning hallway inside. Brilliant move, the hut collapsed like a stack of cards. It, simply, fell in on itself, not an ember fell my way.” He threw his arms out as if in defiance of the odds.
“Look around you. It’s a miracle.”
Thank you for your support ❤️🤗💕
@itsostylish I like the way you brought every tiny detail to live. No rocks were left unturned. I enjoyed this.😌
😊❤️🤔
I love magical stories and I loved this one, she met her father right?
Guess so. Thanks @khaleesii for your thoughtful comment ❤️🤗💕
You are welcome
Mind-bending piece that reminds of a Philip K. Dick-type world.
I liked the imagery of the burning cottage on the sand dune. It had a beautiful and surreal quality to it. It's also a good hook to draw the reader further into the mystery. Very suspenseful.
Who is the mysterious man? She mentions her father, but the stranger doesn't sound like him. Are they in a virtual world? So many questions. Spooky and mysterious! 👀
It’s so interesting that everyone seems to see this as 👻 spooky 🤔
To be fair, there is no story until there’s a reader to interpret it. Then the words take on a life of their own, so that each person can put their own spin on it and get something out of it?? 🙃🙃
❤️😊
For me the spookiness comes from the nonchalant demeanor of the figure at the end. As if he knows a secret. But I could be totally wrong. :)
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What a great idea for a story!! Jany seems to love her father so much that she hears him speak to her. It's really unexpected that she would see her father again but like you said it's magical.
❤️🤔😊
Such themes are quite rare and looking at your post really made me realize that I barely write anything related to parents and family. Hope to see more of such posts and looking forward to digging something out from my brain too. Thanks for inspiring me.
I love exploring relationships. Hope you’re inspired to write and write (some more) ❤️😊🤔🤔😊❤️❤️
Thank you
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Nice story. It's really a shade of indecision for Jany.
❤️😊🤔🤔😊❤️
I found the other comments interesting, especially around the confusion over the end. Maybe I just read too much into your words but to me, there were 3 distinct characters in this piece. Jany, her father, and the person inside the cottage. Grant was just a passing mention to me so I didn't count him haha. I felt like you clearly placed her father outside the cottage as a vision or in spirit form (since he is deceased) and then the person at the very end I saw as being the person who was inside the cottage (he does say that he was in the burning hallway inside), rescued when she broke the window causing a backdraft, the explosive force of which brought the building down but miraculously left the person inside, unscathed. I loved the introspective self, portrayed on the rocks and the beach, and the switch into necessary action to meet the challenge of the fire. I think you handled the pace of each half of the story well. !ALIVE !LUV
I knew that you’d be the only one to actually get it, THANK YOU! Haha, I read all the comments with much interest, too. But that’s fiction, the reader is part of the journey as well, and they must takeaway what they “see”??
!ALIVE
Exactly, once the writer releases their baby to their audience, it no longer belongs to them alone and everyone must get from their reading what they need/feel/understand. This is just how I read it so I found it interesting how others had interpreted it !LUV
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As I live and breathe...
I must say, I am always left spellbound when I read your stories. The thought, the image, the words, and the tone in which you write your fictions, always paints a very beautiful picture in my mind.
Who knows, one of these days... I might just compose a nocturne inspired by one of your writings. Don't quote me on that, but I just might.
Anyway, enough with the cheesy remarks, let's get on with it then:
I loved this story and I must say, Jany was quite the hero! You know at first, I thought she was just imagining all this in her head or perhaps I just got lost a little in the magic of your fancy descriptions lol but all the same, she still decided to risk it all and dive into the burning house
I wonder though, that ending... How very vague. Who was that man? Her father? Or some random stranger who thinks burning houses are a miracle? Lol
Thank you very much, that so sweet of you🤗❤️💕
Beautiful story, the words are describing not only a story but also an environment near the sea that made me imagine that place. I loved it
Greetings @itsostylish
Thank you @popurri
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How the voice come to her tells how much they have lived before his departure.
I love the lines and how they are being arranged.
🤗❤️💕
Congratulations, @itsostylish! Your story has been chosen for the weekly #theinkwell magazine and has received a vote from Curie. Please keep supporting the community by commenting on other writers' stories.
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/the-ink-well-highlights-magazine-57
Thank you
This is so beautiful, the imagery is palpable. The ending gave me shivers.
You are too kind. I love your writing 🤗❤️💕
Hey girl, look at that! You're SUCH a deft writer! I enjoyed your descriptions immensely, truly setting the scene and propelling the action forward. You really establish the father's influential strength on his daughter, so when the shadow appears it makes utter sense and is beautifully executed. Sorry I missed this when it was first published... !
Oh, thank you.
PS: your story was really grand, hard hitting, full of mystery and mayhem, but not full of VIOLENCE! Jeez, TIW (The Ink Well) should read TWIT, sometimes. Haha, they better not read this, cos I’ll be on the blacklist again.
Again? You were on it before? 🤪 thanks for that support love, I appreciate it. Pedancy makes me want to break the rules more - look out! 🤪
I’m always on someone’s blacklist. I rub a lot of people up the wrong way
As for TIW I got into a fight with them over a story they banned (not mine it was by @strangegravy )
Then I wrote a war story, which they misinterpreted - they thought I “murdered” a child. Promise that I DID NOT.
However, I do think that they’re entitled to have whatever rules they choose, and to apply them. But, they should be sure that the fiction fits the bill and that there’s no misinterpretation. If a story does not offend ANYONE, I don’t see the point. 🤔🤗💕
Oh dear. I got into trouble publishing a poem there and then there was something else, so I stomped my feet and I thought I'd never post in there again lol. But I get the violence thing, really, it's hard to explain to some people the difference between violence that explores a human experience or just gratuituous, badly written violence porn - they must have read some pretty blood curdling things and if they don't need that in their lives, I get it. I think they understood that about my story but if you have a rule, you have a rule - I was pissed at first then I thought about it and understood so it was all cool. Lol, you're a child killer now??? Lmao. That's not so stylish :P Sounds like you just had a bad run, funny you got banned. Is there a Hive Buzz badge for that? Coz there should be!
I loved your story, it was really well written and the violence was more hinted at than graphic, but I get where the inkwell comes from with their rules as well, they must see some amount of horrible stuff, so it's easier to go with a blanket ban. I contacted Jayna for another of my stories and got it "pre-approved" shall we say, as I knew it had a theme of violence, but was making sure first it wouldn't get muted if I posted. So that's something you can do as well if you're ever concerned in the future. 🙂
I just didn't even think about it, my bad. I do get it though. It's hard enough being a curator let alone reading banal and horrifying violence everyday. I was annoyed at first but once I read where they were coming from it totally was fine. A non issue.
Haha, hi you! 🙂 Yeah, you had my back that time, thank you, it was really appreciated. I think it stung a little bit because my story was muted, it felt like a week of my work was wasted, but in fairness more people probably read it and commented because of that fact. 😁
Waiting for more fabulous fiction?? ❤️🤗💕
How are you doing
I'm not bad, life seems so busy!
Great that you're still writing so much on here, I tried writing with Jayna's writing group, (fantastic group btw!) but I struggled to get any longer stories finished, and with other commitments and projects, I just had to step back from it. Making time has always been my problem.
I'm going to TRY to write short little ideas for the ink well again though, as I loved that. It's just about having the discipline to impose the shorter word limit on myself and then bloody sticking to it, as that seems to be my major problem!
Looking forward to catching up on your work. 🙂
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A well-written story. The intimate tone is broken by the fire that warrants action that connects inner reality with life. Perhaps the ending is not entirely clear, though the description and inagenes "shadowy figure" and "etheric light" seem to define the presence of the father. Thanks for writing this story for The Ink Well, @itsostylish.
Appreciate your comments to the other stories as well.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my story ❤️🤗💕
Wait? Did she die while trying to check if there was someone in the cottage? I guess it was her husband she met. From the way she was flashing back to "hearing" his voice, she might've been reminiscing about their conversations when he was still alive.
You must read into to it what you will. 🤔
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"But then she was flying across the sand as if pulled by a magician’s hand." Delicious! 😁 I'll have to catch up on your other writing!