Thanks for visiting my Day 1 post for @theinkwell's Fast and Furious Festival. Since I'm a mod, I'm not here for prizes. Just to participate and have fun.
Join us! You can pop in and participate anytime. Today is Day 1, and the Festival runs for 20 days, offering fun opportunities to exercise your writing craft and engage in some community building and mutual support. You can read about it in the Fast and Furious launch post.
Day 1 Prompt: Character and Dialog
You can see the prompt for today here.
Image source: Pixabay
Task 1: Characters in a Restaurant
For this task, we are to fill out the characters we imagine when reading this dialog snippet:
A woman in a restaurant whispers to her friend:
"You know who that is over there, don't you?"
The other woman surreptiously glances at the other table:
"No, who?"
"That's just it, she's had so much work done you don't recognise her. That's Betty Grainger."
"No!"
"Yes, she's had her nose done, cheeks lifted, even a hair transplant."
"Whatever for?"
"She's going into politics."
"Seriously, that's really her?"
Here’s the fruit of my imagination after reading this bit of dialog.
Betty Grainger, as one of the two gossips says, is going into politics. She is running for mayor of their mid-sized city in Iowa, but has much bigger dreams, ultimately hoping to run for Governor or a Senate seat. At 52 years of age, she only hopes she hasn’t waited too long. That scoundrel she married was an oppressive bully who kept her under his thumb the entire time they were married. Even their children begged her to leave him! Fortunately, she was able to secure half of his extensive estate, which has fueled her campaign, and she is now the frontrunner ahead of a hayseed who can hardly string two coherent sentences together. With her new wardrobe, awesome new look, and ability to command a crowd, Betty feels confident that she’s got the race in the bag.
Sarah Kendall, the gossip who initiated the conversation in the restaurant, is actually a former friend of Betty’s from their days at Pleasant Valley high school. As cheerleaders for the football team, they were both popular girls who had the run of the school. Back in the day, they shared everything - from clothes and shoes to make-up and mannerisms. “All that and a bag of chips,” they would often say at the exact same time. Unfortunately they both had the hots for the same quarterback, and Betty won the draw, which ultimately ended their friendship. Sarah heard they got married and moved away right after high school, and she hasn’t heard much since - until now, when Betty has returned to Pleasant Valley to run for Mayor. Of course, Sarah is happily married, herself, and none of that high school drama matters anymore. Does she dare ask Betty what she is up to now? And is she still married to that football playing dreamboat, Jared? In that moment, she feels both nervous and excited, and she hopes she looks okay. What if after all these years, she can be friends with Betty again?
Maisey Klickitat was always the sidekick friend back in high school. “Two’s company, three’s a crowd,” she can still hear Betty saying as she took Sarah’s arm and walked away with her. It was only after Betty and Sarah’s friendship fell apart that Sarah paid any real attention to her. At first, Maisey couldn’t believe she got to be friends with this really popular girl. But as they got to know one another and learned how much they had in common, their friendship was cemented forever. Or, at least she thought so until now. Here's Betty, showing up after all these years and looking incredibly gorgeous and put together. There isn’t a wrinkle or a hair out of place! All the old feelings of being second fiddle suddenly come racing back. She thinks of her out-of-work husband and her tiny run-down house on a rather busy road in town, and a terrible dread comes over her about how she will appear in Betty’s eyes. And worse - the idea that Betty and Sarah might strike up again. “Two’s company, three’s a crowd!”
Task 2: A conversation
For this task, we are to write a short snippet of dialog, between 70 and 100 words.
“Tell me the truth, doctor,” Mrs. Caldwell said. “I know there’s more.”
The doctor busied himself with a chart. Then he held a scan up to the light. Nearby, in a hospital bed, lay Mr. Caldwell, unconscious. An IV drip was connected to his arm and a heart monitor made a slow and regular thrum.
“He has a highly rare disorder, Mrs. Caldwell. Only 10 known cases in the medical world.”
“And? What is the prognosis, Doctor?”
“Well that’s just it. Each case manifests differently. But the end is… never pretty. He will need to be institutionalized. Immediately.”
Thanks again for visiting my post. I look forward to reading and commenting on other writers' work from the festival!
Good work on task 1.
I felt that it was not a description of characters, but a story that enthralls the life of those characters. The first part I loved the second part I missed a little bit.
On task 2.
I liked the dialogue but again I had the perception that it was long, so I went to check with a word counter 🙈 and it has 98. I don't know how he does it but I felt like I was reading a story.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful feedback, @soyunasantacruz. You're right. I am able to write in story fashion, but writing a character's traits in a paragraph of description is hard for me! That's funny that you checked my dialog word count. Yes, I checked it too. Ha ha. I wanted to make sure I kept inside the limits.
Hi Jayna
Great character descriptions. I particularly liked the way you built a past between the three women. I tried to intimate similar between two of my characters, but I think I might have been too vague. There was more of a 'mean girls' or ladies vibe going on in mine 😂
The dialogue is fantastic. It builds really nicely to a real mystery cliffhanger type moment, leaving the reader wondering 'what is this disease'? Will Mr Caldwell be OK? The descriptive actions also progressed and informed the dialogue perfectly. Very nice!
Thanks very much for your thoughtful comments, @raj808! It was a really fun exercise. I love what you did with it!
Hi @jayna,
Your character profiles are fascinating, especially since I read them after I read @dwixer's and @raj808's. This exercise is like a Rorschach test of worldview. Each of you on a different continent, each of you bringing to the exercise your life experience. How vividly you describe the people you see.
As for your dialogue:
Maybe because I share some of your cultural background, the scene evoked by your dialogue is clear. In a few words you have drawn a character, a tragedy, and a resolution. A story is suggested, and could take shape from these few words.
Thank you very much @agmoore! I love that - a Rorschach test of worldview. I found it very interesting how different people interpreted the dialog and used their imaginations to bring the characters to life.
The description of the characters gives me another perspective; very interesting description. As for the brief dialogue it offers us, I see in it the full power of a micro story. I was enthusiastic about the reading and it gave me ideas; it also allows me to see how dialogue is a very relevant aspect for our stories.
Thank you, @morey-lezama! I think we can all have fun giving one another ideas and inspiration. :-)
The descriptions are impeccably made, usually it is like that, good friends who are separated and destroyed by things that are not important in the long run, but the damage is done. The dialogue if it is deeper, it hurts that the diagnosis is not from that pair of gossips.
Thanks for visiting my post and providing feedback, @gilliatt!
@jayna, Fiction Writing is like mind's imaginative movie. Stay blessed.
Well said, @chireerocks! Are you going to participate in the Fast and Furious Festival?
I will try. Thank you.
Ooooh, I like that you connected them
Now I know the dynamics of their relationship :D
Thanks @kaerpediem. It was fun thinking about how they might be connected!
Not sure I will have time to join in but look forward to reading a few:) Good luck to all the participants:)
Thank you for stopping by, @prydefoltz. Great to see you!
Ooohh I like the description you gave for the characters :D kinda like to see where this exercise goes and if we get to follow through till the end :)
It was a really fun exercise, and great fun to see what everyone did with it!
I've joined HIVE now (finally) after being gone from Steem/Hive for a year. Just wanted to let you know. Looks like a good community. -- Jane
Hooray! Welcome, @janenightshade. So great to see you here. There's always something going on in The Ink Well community.
Oh, I hope Betty Grainger beats that hayseed -- I for one have had enough of hayseed politics here in the U.S. for the rest of my existence ... but it ever is that if one person in a group of friends makes a great stride forward, the other friends start remembering their old resentments ... you captured that excellently.
Poor Mrs. Caldwell ... after a year of this "new" disease traveling the world, I can imagine her anguish ... and he has to be institutionalized, on top of everything else ... the isolation, compounded ... really tugs at the heartstrings ... WELL DONE
Thank you so much for the kind words, @deeanndmathews!
Hello @Jayna. I'm glad that you participated even as a mod, besides we're all here to learn and have fun as well.
I loved what you did with Betty Grainger. It gives one a pass off of what and why the gossips may have been interested in a conversation about her. And your names! It fits perfectly. I'm sure not everyone knows how to pick a name for a character. Good job Jayna. I enjoyed reading every bit of the dialogue too. Too bad Mr Caldwell's case is a more serious one than I thought.
Thanks very much, @dwixer!