The train whistled as it started its long journey west, and Joe couldn't help but think about all of the possibilities that lay ahead.
Thoughts spun in his head...
"What will my future hold?"
"Will I finally find what I've lost after all these years?"
He knew that there was no way to know until he got there, but one thing was certain: tomorrow everything would be different.
The train glided across the landscape at a steady pace, lurching and braking as it neared stations. The distant mountains shimmered in the morning light, their peaks bathed in pink-gold bands of pale sunlight.
Joe gazed out of the window and thought about how he would soon be seeing her again for real. He could barely wait to get off the train though he had yet days before his arrival.
They should have been in Denver two hours ago but they were delayed by an accident on the tracks on either side of them which left no way for trains to get through so all had been put on hold until it was cleared up again.
There was nothing else for him to do but sit back with his thoughts and enjoy what little scenery there was outside – if he could see it that is.
The train was becoming more and more crowded, the cabin filling up as passengers disembarked to stretch their legs or go in search of food.
Joe saw an elderly woman knitting diligently at one end of the carriage while two young women played cards together at the other. He saw a young man with a large suitcase taking up two seats.
Everyone around him was leaving their homes behind, going somewhere new and different.
Nearby, Joe couldn't help but notice a little girl with her head resting on her father’s shoulder, mouth open wide in sleep.
A car attendant came through saying they would be moving again soon.
So he closed his eyes for just a moment and thought about about how people were always going somewhere: his sister moving away with her new husband to Missouri, friends staking their claims in the Oregon Territory or Southward in Santa Fe...
There seemed so many opportunities out there – opportunities pulling everyone he knew and loved away from him - everyone that mattered to him. But most of all, pulling away the person who mattered most to him, his daughter.
But now, aboard this train heading west toward Denver that was all about to change.
Joe had left behind his law practice and life in Chicago, what there was left to leave behind that is.
His wife passed away shortly after their daughter's birth. Most of his relatives and friends had either left long ago as well - either seeking out their own opportunities or finding their final rest.
Joe's Law practice was now solidly in the hands of the younger generation of partners (and likely the better for it). They wouldn't be missing Joe anytime soon.
There wasn't much that Joe even felt like he was leaving in Chicago anymore.
No, Joe was sure that what was left of his future lay at the end of this train track. A future with her.
The train whistle blew again and slowly chugged back to life. As the last stop drifted away in the distance behind them, Joe drifted into his memories.
There were times Joe had seen her watching him from afar: first as an toddler playing on the hardwood floors while he stole a few moments away from work to play with her; then later stomping together through mud puddles after thunderstorms chasing frogs – always looking up expectantly when she found something new or interesting with those wide blue eyes like, even then, she had a thirst for adventure and was glad to share it with me.
In those moments, Joe knew he was the lucky one.
But as she grew up, Joe's luck began to fade.
Sure, he did fine in a traditional sense. His practice weathered many storms and he remained in good health.
But the storms his practice faced required him at the helm to keep things running. To keep food on the table for himself and the families of those who worked with him. He couldn't responsibly leave things in that condition. He was tied down in Chicago.
While Joe remained anchored in place, his daughter had nothing holding her back. Nothing powerful enough at least to resist the pull she felt by the adventure in the west.
That's why it wasn't long before she set off with nothing but a train ticket and a suitcase. She was going west to find her future - to claim her adventure.
The whistle blew hard, jostling Joe out of his thoughts. They had arrived and the excitement was building in Joe as he quickly gathered his things and headed toward the door.
Joe stepped out of the train and into the bright white sunlight his eyes hadn't yet adjusted to.
His eyes finally adjusted to the light, and he found an answer to his troubles staring back at him. Eyes wider than the sky and just as blue with a thirst for adventure.
Those eyes, now more weathered and knowing, yet still with a twinkle that seemed to say she was excited to have her father back with her.
I hope you enjoyed it!
Your story is well detailed and captivating. I enjoyed every minute of it.
Thanks for the kind words @young-boss-karin
Welcome to The Ink Well, @zwhammer. What a great introduction to your writing! You skillfully navigate the present and the past without slowing down the story to bring the reader up to speed on the events that have put Joe on the train. That's difficult for a lot of writers to do! I really liked all the hints about the time in history when the story is taking place, like the Oregon territory. Well done!
By the way, there's one little thing to fix. At one point the story lapses into first person with a mention of "me" vs. Joe. :-)
@jayna thanks for the kind words and notes! I actually noticed the same thing but didn’t have enough resource credits available to edit it when I did lol - still a new account :)
This is a wonderful example of how to introduce multiple characters into a single story. As gently and as expertly as possible. I actually might just go through my old comments again to find someone I once talked about this on her/his post, so I could point them in this direction.
Great story, attention grabbing at the start especially because of the vivid details. One almost feels as though they're there with the protagonist.
Altogether, a wonderful use of the prompt. Cheers!
Thanks so much for the feedback @seesladen :) Appreciate the thoughts!
@seesladen: Your structural analysis not only reinforces the writer's efforts, but also may help others to understand why this story succeeds. Thank you!
Captivating descriptions and enjoyable storytelling, great job 👏
Thanks for the kind words @zedcell :)
This is a beautiful story of love and the bonds that keeps family together. A father in search of his daughter, leaves everything behind. A story of sacrifice.
This is a wonderful piece @zwhammer, i could learn a thing or two about love here. And it's a splendid use of the prompt. Keep it up👍🏽😁
Glad you enjoyed it @bruno-kema - thanks for the feedback :)
Nice work. I especially enjoyed the section which might be described as "frame narration". So many dream sequences are badly used in prose. I enjoyed yours. Keep it up. Be sure to leave a link in the comments of their main post.
Glad you enjoyed it @almightymelon - when I read the prompt, it made me think about long travels and how much I get lost in my own thoughts, so I thought it might be interesting if most of the "story" essentially just took place in his thoughts.
Link added in the comments :) thanks for the reminder
A wonderful, gently, moving story. The father's journey on the train is both symbolic, and real. A train is a perfect metaphor for the journey he is traveling into the future. It is also a metaphor for the journey he traveled in life.
Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community. We hope to read more of your stories. Please be sure to read the work of other writers in the community and share comments with them. We are urging everyone who posts in The Ink Well to take this step, going forward, to ensure our community members are supporting one another. (We also have this in The Ink Well community rules on our home page and in our weekly writing prompts.) Thank you!
Thanks for the kind notes @theinkwell :) I did indeed read some stories and added comments. Fun little community for sure!
I'm sitting on that train, enjoying the description of this memoir by @zwhammer! I can feel the characteristic noises, people and landscapes.
I also enjoy the interaction with the writer. It's interesting
Glad you liked it @gracielaacevedo - thanks for checking it out :)
I look forward to reading more of your stories. This first one was so enjoyable.
That’s very kind of you to say @agmoore thanks :)
Congratulations @zwhammer! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 50 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 50 comments.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
Your content has been voted as a part of Encouragement program. Keep up the good work!
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!
Support Ecency
Vote for Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more
Trains take us in different directions. Joe's daughter must board her own train. Trains as destinations, as lives and their futures, make amazing metaphors. Thanks for sharing your story, @zwhammer; I enjoyed it a lot :)