From my observations , most of our men see women as the common enemy.
I wouldn’t say we see the as an enemy even. It’s more like a lesson learnt from experience that has made many men skeptical about whether or not opening is a good idea. Most men who are like this have opened up to a certain woman before and learnt a lesson to be cold as ice from there.
The sad thing is that after this experience, the next woman and all other women that’ll come into his life will have to deal with this scar, and eventually might leave him because he’s going to find it difficult to be able to open up ever, and if he ever does, it’ll require a lot of effort and patience(which many women won’t have the time for).
Why are men made to feel they can’t show emotions or be vulnerable?
I am of the conviction that habits are developed growing up. And what do we see women and men alike teach little boys in their childhood? When your little brother cries what do you hear your dad and your mom and your dad tell him. “You’re a man. Men don’t cry”. This is deeply wired into our very thinking from childhood and that is the mentality we grow up with. Aside this, there’s also of course, the influence of social media and society itself even as we mature into adults. Men can’t be passionate about certain things women are are their seen as weak or girlish. We’re supposed to be the rocks in our families and rocks don’t show weakness.
There’s also the fact certain women say they want you to open up, but then get the ick when you do. Maybe opening up in her language means just talk. But what if you get teary and cry? I’ve heard women on social media say they got the ick from their man crying and lost interest several times. How do you know what limit to open up to then? Won’t it be better to stay unfazed? Some other women also just say it to not look like they don’t give two shits about men. So they’ll ask you to open up knowing fully well they don’t want you to. Again, many women have said how many times they asked their men to open up, and later wished they didn’t because they didn’t like him being too open again.
If men actually decided to talk, we could talk and talk and talk because you guys have no idea how much pent up anger and frustration we have collected and saved up over the years. And most of these stuff, no one else but a man will get them, so you feel like there’s even no point telling a woman about it. The boys get it most of the time. If you have good friends, you can be open to them, but even then, even they call you a sissy at some point when you talk about certain stuff.
It was international men’s day a couple of days ago and I bet you didn’t know until now. I bet you didn’t even know there was an international men’s day holiday. Even I didn’t know until I saw someone’s post about it here. That is how much the world doesn’t care about men. We celebrate women’s day and breast cancer awareness like the entire world population are women and this is how it gets when it’s out turn. It’s all talk until it’s actually time to show the love and concern. The world just shoves a donut down our throats and tells us to shut the fuck up and suffer. Lol It’s a cold world to be a man.
I agree with you.
So you think it’s better to keep it all in?
🥹🥹
That is not what I’m saying at all. I’m simply saying, even the women that want you to open up might not be able to “take” it when you open up. So you need to understand what they mean by opening up so that you don’t overdo it and doom your relationships.
The problem is not that men don’t open up entirely, it’s that they don’t like feeling that kind of vulnerability towards women, their woman specifically. And when even YOUR woman says she wants you to open up to her, there’s a subconscious standard of “opening up” she has, and anything beyond this point will have her see you as less of a man. Her subconscious standard could be “crying”. You can tell her everything but there’s a limit at crying. Once you cry in front of her, you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Of course she won’t tell you this though, because maybe even she doesn’t know you crying will give her the ick. Or maybe she does but just doesn’t want to be mean or come off that way so she doesn’t tell you.
There are several other options if you can’t open up to a woman. Your boys always got you, maybe family also, or worst case scenario, therapy and counseling. One of these has to work for any person. Bottles explode when they take too much and you don’t want to be a bottle exploding with suppressed emotions one day.
I see.