I don't know what is with me today, but I have to say that inlike most of the time where I am generally indifferent to life, I am annoyed. There is no particular reason for it, but when it comes to moods, there really doesn't need to be, as our feelings don't really give a crap about reality, they just care about themselves.
If we actually "listen to our feelings" we'd find they are illogical, needy and attention seeking - much like a high-maintenance partner that wants you to make them the center of your life, no matter what kind of sacrifices you have to make to do so. They want to be loved, but offer very little in return and if allowed free-reign, will suffocate their host.
Sounds awesome.
Yet, a lot of people seem to believe that they have some preordained right to inflict others with every emotion they have and these kinds of people, tend to have more bad days than good. There are others who expect their emotional needs to "be fulfilled" but over nothing in return as payment. And there are some who think emotional control means bottling up feelings and burying them deep down in the darkness.
In my opinion and as I handle them, emotions are tools, which means we can learn about them and how to use them. Knowing when to show and apply them and when to keep them in the emotional toolbox takes practice and depending on other factors, our ability to handle them varies. For example when we are tired, under stress or have unexpected circumstances arise, it is harder to get a grip on our emotions and we can end up using the wrong tool for the job, or become heavy-handed in our approach, unintentionally breaking things along the way.
Intentions matter of course, but when people unintentionally hurt others due to a lack of emotional awareness, there was still intention there. The intention was to never learn how to control emotions well, so it is like constantly getting behind the wheel of a car drunk, and believing that when crashes happen and people die, it is not our fault. It is a choice not to take responsibility for our actions and believe it or not, our emotional reactions are indeed our actions. Just because we have chosen not to learn how to use handle them, doesn't mean that it excuses our behavior.
Too many these days throw tantrums like children denied a toy in a store, and expect to have their desires fulfilled because they really, really want it. Some people might even act as an enabler and give in and act as, they would rather avoid the discomfort or embarrassment of the screaming child - I don't play that. I don't accept it from my daughter, why would I accept it from an adult?
But, it is not like I am emotionless myself, it is just that at least most of the time I try not to let it affect the things I need or want to do. I know a lot of people who have things to do and things they want but, "aren't in the mood" to to anything about it, so wait for better times. This is a spiral into oblivion in my opinion, as the more it happens, the more it will and soon, they aren't doing much of anything at all, because it is all just too hard.
While I don't feel like this often, I tend to use these moods to explore other aspects of myself through my writing. This piece for example, I went in first reflecting on my mental position with the thought to se where it will lead me in content and, how I feel as I come out the other side.
I feel better. Much better.
So now, I can get on with the rest of my night in a mood that is more suited to the lighting of our fireplace for the first time this Autumn and, for the first time since the renovation of this area was completed - rather than ruining the moment. As I keep saying, emotions are tools. Learning how they work and how to use them, can make a very big difference in the way we experience our world and, the world of those who experience it with us.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I try to use avoidance when I am in annoyed or angry or other bad type moods. I'll sit and hide behind a computer game and take the frustrations out on it a little bit, generally works, but not always, because then boredom can come and settle in making the annoyances even more annoying. Sometime it just does not matter what I try, and I have to let the cause of my annoyance be known. That generally works and solves the issue for me, I just don't like jumping to the solution first, because it almost always works.
Avoidance is a good strategy, until it is the only strategy. I feel some people only have that tool in their shed these days, to cover every issue they have. It is their hammer, and everything a nail. Of course, when it doesn't work, then the explosion comes too :)
I know the simplest thing to do is to go to the source of the annoyance when possible, but for some reason I still try to avoid it like the plague even though it solves the annoyance most of the time. I think we all sort of like to torture ourselves every now and then.
Perhaps we are all masochists at heart - martyrs to whatever delusional feeling we have at the time.
I learned a long time ago that when we as humans are emotionally evoked by a situation, there is a miniscule space where we get to choose our reaction. This is often completely ignored by people or they simply aren't even aware of it. It is in that moment that we can alter the course of the next phase of any situation - if the person is able to stay level headed enough to do so.
I had to teach myself that and it has served me exceptionally well ever since. I suppose it's mastery of self in some degree. Something that the world is sorely lacking these days.
For sure. It is a pity, as so much suffering is caused because of it.
The best to describe my emotion when my shares and crypto spike suddenly and i have no way to react exactly i should but i control my emotion and behave polite instead jumping like pig.
Ha. Yeah, at those times it is pretty obvious that it is hard to control emotions on the upside - but it is the same on the down :) With experience though...
Sometimes we can do a lot of damage when we don’t keep our emotions in check, some people might go as far as saying very hurtful things to people that cannot be taken back. Overly, we need to work on them.
Once words escape our mouth, they can't be swallowed again. Best to catch them early.
This may actually be out of all your ton of posts my favorite. because i am feeling the same sorta way and I love the way you describe everything. brilliantly written thank you
You are welcome.
I wonder what my favourite would be... :)
Our emotional reactions are indeed our actions.
That's obvious. We r an emotional living being. Many of us are not able to control them in general. Our emotions comes before our behaviours. There is a good proverb in my language;
One who stands up in anger, sits down with a loss.
However, some people are able to control their emotions, we call them soulless but I believe those emotions are hidden somewhere in them.
Not to many, as they do not take responsibility for theirs. Yet, ironically, they want to punish others for their actions.
Control isn't burying emotion, it is being able to choose when to show and express them.
agree I don't listen to my feeling in financial choices but in life, it's important to think from heart some time
and your saying is true
It is not easy to be able to control emotions.
I think it's unfair when children don't get something, but the parents always fulfil their own desires already.