I wasn't lauding shaming other people (nor was it the case for the article I mentioned). Just saying we shouldn't be so quick to liberalize and endorse everything that flies in the face of previous centuries just because they were oppressive and nasty, also.
when in fact he was just playing a character to conceal his own vulnerability.
Oh, I'm sure he was. I have a lot of compassion for these people, and I wish I was in a place to help them. Right now, though, I am more focused on my own journey, setting my own boundaries and carving a healthy, balanced life for myself. So as far as I'm concerned, they can play whatever character they want, I just can't be a part of the masquerade.
Then I realized that it wasn't me,
I applaud that. Both for being true to yourself, and for owning your truth and values. That's not always easy, is it?
I've seen these attitudes less and less over the years in my city, probably because of the reality I've crafted for myself.
I think this plays an important role. I used to attract quite a lot of messed up character-playing people. I didn't see it at the time, but I was very messed-up myself (which is why I never played the "why am I only attracting creeps" card). Rn I'm just focused on crafting that reality, as you said, in the hope of attracting people who do resonate.
And I didn't say all guys in their 30s are like that :P Thank you for the thoughtful input ~ I enjoyed it!