I have tamed many cats like Milho, it takes a long time and requires patience but I see that you are making good progress.
Use Patrick as your helper, if Milho remains near him. Pet Patrick and you can gradually start working on touching Milho if he is nearby. Patrick's calmness will help Milho to feel calm.
Give him treats and food close to you, encourage him to take food from your hand.
If you can get the supplement L-tryptophan, add some powder to his food, it reduces his anxiety and especially on the day you try to take him to the vet. Use 200mg on the day of the vet visit.
To get him in the carrier: I'm assuming that you have a carrier similar to this one
Take the door off and leave the carrier around in the house so he can smell it and it becomes familiar to him, put his food and treats inside the carrier.
To get him in it, use a small space like the bathroom.
Put the carrier in a corner and use cardboard boxes or similar to create a tunnel with the open carrier at the end of the tunnel, cover the carrier with a towel and put food in the bathroom so he goes in there. Once he's in the bathroom, close the door and go inside. He'll go to hide in the tunnel that you created and will go into the carrier. Slide some heavy cardboard between the tunnel and the front of the carrier and then you can work on putting the door on. Once I was lucky and put the carrier next to a gap between the washing machine and the wall and the cat just went inside and I simply closed the carrier door but the important thing is to try and get him to go in there willingly rather than breaking his trust by restraining him and trying to stuff him inside.
Once he's at the vet, they may have to sedate him but more intensive work with getting him used to being touched before you attempt the vet visit will help. I can see he needs neutering, perhaps schedule the first visit as neutering and get his first vaccinations done at that time as well. The boosters should be done one month later.
Thank you so much,@catlady. This is excellent advice. I didn't now that the tryptophan could be such a great relaxant for them. I will see if we can get some here. Unfortunately, the carrier that I have access to is a soft case...That is precisely the biggest concern, is getting him to go willingly and keep his trust. Patrick is such a great helper, it's true and Milho mimics him in everything. I am thinking of keeping Patrick with him the entire vet visit, because he is also quite relaxed with the vet himself and it will give Milho confidence also..He does need to be castrated, he's pretty much ready now and we know it's necessary. Thank you again. You're really knowlegeable and kind to take interest.
You're welcome, feral cats are challenging but I love their attitude. Patrick will be a good companion at the vet.
Soft carriers may be difficult. I often use these plastic milk crates for ferals and tie an oven rack over the open side, if you can get something similar. It's crude but effective and it will work for the trapping part that I described if you put it on its side, cover it with a blanket and put firm cardboard into the bottom side that he will be standing on once it is upright
That is brilliant!...the milk crate and oven rack. It's the perfect sort of solution to be able to recommend here, where the majority only have improvised options most of the time. excellent. There are four cats now, with Milho in the household..and we'll be moving in a short while..so we'll need to acquire two more carriers anyhow. I think we'll just find a couple of hard cases as soon as we can. Then...well, I'm going to write up a post about our day yesterday, and what we are envisioning we can begin to do to help more critters around here. There are an awful lot of dogs and cats on the streets, in terrible shape...and even many with homes and human family who just need support. I'm sorry to go off. saving the rest for a full post or two. What I need to say in summary, is that I can't thank you enough right now. These interactions are keeping me out of despair.
You're welcome! I know what you mean, I have these solutions because the situation in my country is similar to yours. At the moment, I have 8 cats that I take care of in and around my house and more that I feed and sterilise because their owners can't or won't. Read this for instance https://peakd.com/hive-187635/@nikv/tale-of-a-little-cat-family-or-the-road-to-hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions