We always had bedtime routines, but that's because it's the only way I could handle the day, especially when they used to go to school and we had to get up at 7am. I hated that. They still had the extra curricular activities when homeschooling, so we had to be organised to get them on time.
Things gradually relaxed as they aged and we started homeschooling, but my eldest always worked better with routine. I suspected she was low level autism spectrum for years, but she has recently had a ADHD diagnosis. Turns out the way I handled it was the right approach for it not to be an issue throughout her childhood. The cracks started to appear as she entered the adult world.
I think it's a matter of what suits each family. If you end up in the school system you kind of have to get a bedtime routine in place so they can function at school. With modern day work practices often requiring shift work, it really is hard to develop a routine around.
Don't stress too much about ADHD, I was diagnosed with that. Hate when I hear people say people with ADHD don't amount to anything.
I predominantly work in auditing and compliance, but as typical with ADHD I also do emergency management where I am deployed to rescue operations, I also do project management. I train every night and always on the go with Lil miss 4 annnnnd just about never really sleep.
Oh I also help community groups strengthen their governance and leadership. Also support project planning and integration.
I'm always go go go, struggled as a kid. As I get older. Doesn't get easier but I am always active.
I'm the complete opposite to you! I'm slow at everything and just reading all that you do is overwhelming! 😅
I'm glad I've never heard that said! 😡 They obviously know very little about it, although I'm only just learning myself, via my daughter. She's currently in uni, halfway through her degree and aiming for a doctorate.
I wonder if my friend's son is rather like you. I've not seen them for years (we're half a world apart now), but his energy levels were something to behold! She spent years trying to get a diagnosis for him so he could get support in school, but they dragged it out and I don't think it ever happened. I think he did okay academically in the end, though. He has good parental support. I must remember to email them...
I think at one point my daughter resented that I didn't get her diagnosed to help her sooner, but since speaking to a psychiatrist she's told me I did the right things, particularly not making an issue of it. To me there was never a reason to have her diagnosed, because there was nothing wrong with her. She was perfectly normal in that vast range of normality and she still is. I often think that the only reason we end up feeling the need to label these things as "disorders" is because society doesn't allow for much range of normal. I tried to prepare her for the fact that the adult world doesn't make allowances, but I don't think you can really realise it fully until you enter that world. Her psychologist is teaching her coping mechanisms.
110% agree with you on this! My wife was "diagnosed" with ADHD in her teens and I understand that she sometimes has issues concentrating but she seems to let it define her and falls back on it as a crutch sometimes. I don't make much of an issue about it because she feels strongly, (and small things like this are not at all worth arguing about lol) maybe because she's had the label for so long it won't go away, but it really irks me that society calls it a disorder! Why the hell can't it just be people who are normal (what I personally consider normal) and energetic, when most of society is energy deprived and sluggish?
I can see our son having some of the signs of it but he's a high energy kid that needs things that interest him in order to do and learn things. I was very similar to him when I was younger, if the subject bored me, I didn't really care or try and I was high energy. If I had gone to a medical professional about it I can probably say that I would have been "diagnosed" with the affliction and put on medication. If someone is energetic and bored with things that don't interest them, there seems to not be any room in what is allowed for society so they must be medicated.
I’m hoping that because my daughter chose to get herself diagnosed at 19, she won't take it on as a label so much. It's never been those around her telling her that this is what she is. Having said that, I also realise she has a tendency to want something to blame when her behaviour hurts others.
As far as I'm concerned, high energy is default for children. I think some schools allow for it to a point in the junior years, but come highschool there is no allowance for it, like it's suddenly meant to disappear?
Except it's not her that needs to learn coping mechanisms, it's the world.
Labels are just that. We label people outside the square who can not remain still or do as their told or XYZ went through it all as a kid, heard it all, copped it all. Knew it was all shit.
My daughter is the exact same as me, my partner struggles I cope quite ok with it. But at 34 my energy levels are probably just under my 4 yr olds. Sometimes she beats me, other times she falls asleep exhausted. All depends.
Uni's and schools want a "diagnosis" so they can "help" which is bullshit. I struggled at school because some teachers were shit and depressed. I excelled in classes that were engaging and hands on. They tried to direct me to trades. Tried that for a bit but then decided I wanted to go back to the office and change the world.
So I did, I've rolled our programs and projects that have seen me feature on Google blog and had American and UK companies try and recruit me.
I'm short, sweet and to the point. People don't always like me. But I have quite a few projects under my belt that were world firsts that have made change. If I was a grub I'd sold for millions but I gave them away so they can be replicated.
Don't get me wrong, I have a very nice wage at my current office job.
Hands down, I don't think they will be ready for your daughter. ADHD is a weapon when it is focused.
Yeah the way schools and other places try to get rid of and tame people that have high energy levels is brutal. I feel for you on the boring teachers and boring subjects. I loved the subjects and classes that were hands on and the teachers made learning fun and connected. If the teacher just sat at their desk and talked at us instead of getting us involved I wouldn't bother and ended up getting some bad grades because that wasn't how I learned. It worked out in the end because those same classes in high school that I couldn't handle, in college with better professors and learning styles I got A's. I even got a 100% on the final exam in one of my classes, the professor was completely shocked, it was one of my proudest moments! That same class in high school I got a D because it was taught in such a lame way.
Sounds like you're doing well when you have the right environments so that's awesome, I'm glad for you! We need more people like that in the world, motivated and want to do good instead of taking what they have and selling it to the highest bidder to buy crap they don't need.
Totally agree and for anyone that's interested this is the Google blog.
It was my first year of Dadding and I was awaiting an operation for a hernia repair. I had put on a bit of weight 🤣
https://australia.googleblog.com/2017/08/give-little-warmth-this-winter.html?m=1
Unfortunately, for where she wants to get career wise, she has to jump through the the hoops that are a university education and hours in exams. Once she gets through that, the work she would be doing should be stimulating enough for her to just be herself again. In the mean time it's coping mechanisms to get her through and she's even considering Ritalin (I'm hoping she doesn't and she knows my thoughts on it, but she'll do things her own way).
I yearn for the day when all personality types are accepted as normal, but the current equality drive could actually undermine that, because they can't be seen to be treating people differently (although really it's treating them according to their needs). This is probably why they justify it with diagnoses within schools. They can't allow one kid who focuses better when doing headstands and roly polies (my youngest, funnily enough) to do so, when the rest can't focus while doing that, but will feel unfairly treated if they aren't allowed to also do it. So I do see why schools have to go the diagnosis route, although even then I'm sure other kids will see it as unfair and want to know why they can't be "special".