It's very easy to feel as though there is no point. I, as human, am motivated by many things. Very often it is self interest - food, shelter, socialization, problem solving. But what I am driven to pursue is often very different than what I am motivated by, and this contrast has always been a thorn in my side.
How do I motivate myself to do the things I feel driven to do? I have no desire to make money, so becoming successful is not a motivation. However, I want to leave an impression on those around me, so becoming successful is a drive. What does success even look like to me? I am not sure.
Then the concept of having a following - I have a great drive to socialize, to have others listen to and care about my words. To find an audience that wants me and what I have to say. However, socializing is often stressful and difficult. I am driven to socialize, but there is very little motivation to.
These contrasting and conflicting interests have often been a great point of internal contention and turmoil. If I were motivated by having others engage with me, then creating the things I want to create would be their own reward. If I were motivated by money, then having an audience would be its own reward.
The things I am driven to do are locked behind multiple layers of things I feel I should be motivated by, but instead act as deterrents. I need to find a different way forwards. Most importantly, however, I need to just put pen to paper and write. I'm reminded of "The Faster the Treadmill".
Quick critique about your "topics" or hashtags.. so to use for this type of writing would be #freewrite or some of these.. this will help your content get seen by more folks.
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