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RE: Me, Women, Our Times

in #life8 years ago

I'm a little bit older than you and fought for what we called sexual equality back then. Men were also understood to have little freedom if they wanted to be, for instance, the homemaker and caregiver. No, they had no legal ownership of their labor and were forced to work outside the home. Women were supposed to gain the freedom of personal respect and dignity and the right to their own bodies as you say. This was all supposed to be taken care of in the 60's and 70's.

None of that turned out. It's like a bad dream. What happened instead is that most women were forced to work outside the home by the inflation of the middle to late 70s, a few ended up going to college but so many married out, because men were never able to take any turns at caregiving (not that many learned to want that). Men had to work harder, feeling that their only value was diminished by the income of their wives. Children who should have learned to treat each other equally lived the exact opposite and the schools that took over parenting did little to help. Occasional attempts to de-emphasize sexual differences were not the same as treating the different (and joyfully different) sexes equally.

We lost that fight, and now the results are here to haunt us.

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Thanks for your comment @baerdric! I do think lots of progress was made and was maintained but your point is well-taken...much more was gained and not maintained. One piece of good news I can offer is that where I live in Portland, Oregon, it is not uncommon for couples to choose for the husband to stay home and care for the children. Granted MOST couples have to both work as you describe here which is definitely not an improvement unless of course they want to. True choice all around is important AND a solid economy so that 1 wage can support a family. Really appreciate your words, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

I had a late child and so I recently took the role of caregiver (the last 21 years) since my wife had a much better job than I did. I took a lot of grief from people who told me that since I wasn't a family leader, the man of the house, how could I raise a son when I was filling the role of a woman? I tried to point out that throughout most of history, man and women and their children worked together, especially fathers with their sons, but ears and minds were closed.

I was starting to see a change, and some of it is because so many more women than men are getting college degrees. As long as the social pressure is not on the men to somehow "lead" by leaving their family for 10-12 hours a day, or on women to be "real" mothers by not helping to provide for their children, it might be a lasting change.

BTW, my son turned out just fine, I homeschooled and he is an Eagle Scout and a peer leader at his College. He's already working in his field, which is a comfort to me.

@baerdric, you did a fine job in raising your son. That much is obvious. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

so sad that people gave you such a hard time for raising your family....glad you persevered and lived according to your own compass. Bravo!